What is the most comforting phrases you use or tell throughout labor to your clients?

If you had one sentence of wisdom to give to your client what would it be?

great thread! I am interested in the replies myself!

I think it really varies with the client because each person is different and has different needs. One mom might be comforted by hearing that she is almost there while another might be comforted by hearing that you are so proud of her and she is doing great. I think overall moms like to hear that what they are going through is normal. So if I had to pick a general overall statement it would be that what she is going through is normal :)

My favorite quote is "The power and intensity of your contractions cannot be stronger than you, because IT IS YOU."
Having said that, transition would not be the time to share this in most cases. ;)
I agree with Michelle, it's very individual.

I love that Liz! I just read that recently somewhere and it is AMAZING! (and true!)

In the beginning, I used to talk mom through contractions using phrases like:

"That's it--That's the way, just like that."
"Perfect, you're almost there."
"After this one, you'll get a break."
"There you go, it's done, one less you have to do."
"Don't think about the next one, just relax."

But now, it's different. I talk to the client more about relaxing parts of her body. It seems to work much better than saying pretty much the same things over and over that don't have too much meaning. I mean, they are supportive but I find saying what I do now works better. We get into a ritual and keep it going that way until she needs a change. Here's a couple ways I've done it:

1.) Progressive relaxation. I have mom start the contraction off by getting on top of it with her breathing. She draws deep, slow breaths. As she climbs to the peak, I tell her to let go of her head, let her neck and shoulders sink into the bed, at the peak I tell her to let go of her pelvis and let it sink into the bed, and I stroke her leg encouraging her to let them sink and drift off. Then as the contraction dissapates I tell her to wrap it up in one last breath and with that release all the tension and pain. Some moms will "hang on" to their contraction pain (and it's more of an emotional thing). So having a final breath sometimes works very well.

2.) Counting down from the peak. This is something I learned from a family physician at a client's birth more than 2 years ago. It has worked well for other clients of mine. Have mom start breathing slowly and controlled at the beginning of the contraction (again, getting on top of it). You can encourage her breathing while she gets to the peak (you have to get a feel for when she is at her peak and really get in tune with mom). Once at the peak you can say something like "That's it, you're at the peak, it's slowly going away now" and start counting "9.... 8.... 7... 6" very slowly and while stroking her or massaging her, helping her relax. And when you get to 1, do that last wrap up breath and as long as you are in tune with her and time it right, it works very well.

I know this isn't exactly what you were asking for Tashina, but I've made some changes in the way I doula and there they are. ;)

I don't know if you could use this at a birth (I guess I will see soon) but it just struck in my reading. One page from Birthing from within reads

"The day you give birth 300,000 women around the world will be giving birth, too. Imagine all of you becoming mothers together."

I just love it!

I don't know if you could use this at a birth (I guess I will see soon) but it just struck in my reading. One page from Birthing from within reads

"The day you give birth 300,000 women around the world will be giving birth, too. Imagine all of you becoming mothers together."

I just love it!
Wow that is an amazing number of women who are birthing at the same time. I would have never guessed that many individuals are entering the world around the same time!!!

During transition...or anytime mom is getting frustrated, anxious, doubtful...I look her in her eyes and tell her "You are so strong, and you are birthing your baby just how you need and want to, I believe in you" then ask her "Do you believe in yourself?" Usually the answer is I don't know..but sometimes it's yes...either way...try to get her to say she does believe in herself and then tell her "you have just enough..just enough to birth your baby, you can do it"...and then suggest she use this mantra "I have just enough" or "I am strong" and I always suggest the mantra "Open" when vocalization starts...it's an easy way to keep mouth relaxed so cervix is relaxed and the act of thinking and saying Open just might make it so...

I find myself saying, when a mom is tensing up against a contraction or against vomiting or against shaking or whatever her body is trying to do... "Let it... it's okay. Let it come." or "Let it go." or "Don't fight it- let your body bring the baby". Let it, seems to be very powerful when Mom is feeling overwhelmed/panicky and trying to fight instead of relax. I usually apply heat then, too- I am a rice sock fanatic!- on the part that she is tensing.

With Christian clients, I say things like, His yoke is easy and burden is light... I can do all things through Him who gives me strength... Your body is fearfully and wonderfully made.

And sometimes I say, this contraction is moving the baby closer to you... You are coping beautifully... Your contraction is strong but you are stronger.

When a mom in transition says, I can't do it... I say, You ARE doing it. And if she is afraid of how much more or how much longer or how much more painful , etc. things are going to get, I just say- This is how it feels. You are coping beautifully. It is not worse than this or harder than this- This IS it, this is how transition feels, and you are doing it! It is so intense because you're almost done.

And if a mom says she wants an epidural, I say, let's do three more contractions, can you give me three more contractions first? And then I change what we are doing to try and get through so she doesn't ask again after the three...

That's assuming she is aiming for a natural birth, though.

I like your answers/post. ;) You and I are evidently on the EXACT same page, and apparently we tend to say the EXACT same things to our moms! :thumbs Your post sounded much more eloquent than mine would've, though! :snicker

i'm a big fan of each contraciton is one less you have to do later. let that last one go and send it away....