I'm very very new to all of this. Before a couple of weeks ago, I didn't know that doula-ing existed. I've known that I want to work with laboring mothers, providing love and support, but I didn't know such a profession existed. After some intense research (and a lot of help from my local doula/guardian angel), I am starting my training with DONA. Here's my issue.
I've known my best friend almost my entire life. She tells me how it is, regardless of if I really want to hear it. Today, I told her about how hard I've been working, trying to find these specific books to read and what all has to go into being certified, how excited I am to be pursuing my passion...etc. Her response was as follows: How do you expect to explain breastfeeding to a first time mom, when you yourself have never done it? You don't know what it feels like and no book can tell you. You won't know anything until you've done it yourself.
Now, I'm feeling a little bummed. She's got a point.
How do you think an expectant mother would feel about having a doula who has never been in her shoes?
A mother will find a doula who fits with her. some mothers need doulas who are mothers themselves. Others need someone who's a motherly figure. Others need someone who is christian. Others need someone who is Asian. Other mothers need someone of the same sexual orientation. Others need someone whos never birthed before but is on their wave length. The truth is, there is no one size fits all when it comes to being a doula. You are the right doula for the mother who hires you after your first meeting.
We all know that most OBs are male, and I can't see women insisting they have a baby before they go near them (but maybe we should! )
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Divine Miss T - 11/05 - dancing queen
Master Fox - 07/11 - sleeping always www.hesperasgarden.com
This Member Says "Thanks!" to tianakaesha For This Post:
You will find several of us here who have not had children yet...myself included. I've even met a fabulous lactation consultant, and to my surprise she had never had children, and didn't plan too. How many male ob's do you know that have had children?
What matters the most as a doula is your heart and passion to help mothers and babies. And keep studying! Keep up with all the latest evidence based research, how best to help mamas, etc...but know that most of what you need is your passion for this work and your Everything else will follow!
And though I'm still new at this, no one that has hired me has ever said anything about the fact that I dont' yet have children! That's not to say that some would prefer those who have had kids--and that's ok! Just know that many of your potiential clients are much more interested in other things!
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"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals". ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
We all know that most OBs are male, and I can't see women insisting they have a baby before they go near them (but maybe we should! )
so true, medically we just accept this! However, like both tiankaesha and seaplay said, there is a fit for every doula! I too first wondered how a women who never went through childbirth could help a women in labour or feeding or caring for her child. However since doing my training, I realize it is alot of heart, commpassion and knowledge! Ultimately, a book can not teach you everything, but it can not also give you passion. If this is what you want to do, then yu will be great! And the gals that decide to have you by their side will feel the same!!
I agree with all the previous posters, as a young childless (though not for much longer) doula I can understand how you feel. I will be honest that I do feel underqualified to assist with breastfeeding, but I provide practical advice that I have learned, and I always help mammas work with the nurses to get it fully established. Dr. Jack Newman, Mr. Breastfeeding himself, has never breastfed a baby, if he can help a woman breastfeed, why can't I?
In terms of my ability to support a mommy through birth and the postpartum, what you will find is that this work is very intuitive, you are a woman, and you know how to help, even if you don't know that you know!
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~Megz~
This Member Says "Thanks!" to DoulaMegz For This Post:
I agree there all all kinds of doulas. Even male doulas.
I am a doula who has grown up kids, but I never breastfed. I think all my clients except for one past one and one coming have breastfed or plan to.
I am a doula that has never has an epidural...but lost of my clients have one.
I am a doula who did not have a long painful labour... lots of my clients have incredibly long labours....I still am great support for them.
You will kind of find your areas that you are really good at, and some you may refer to for more help. I am not a breastfeeding expert...its not my interest, so I always refer my clients to the lactation expert in our area for help beyond what I can give them.
Keep going, you will be fine!
This Member Says "Thanks!" to doula Michele For This Post:
Part of me feels the same because I have had 2 c-sections. I got reassured by my doula trainers that I can still be a valuable support to labouring women, and I actually have some advantages because I have experienced everything up to that point (9.5cm and feeling like pushing) and the disappointment that happens when birth does not go as planned and I can empathize with the feelings associated with that.
Even if you had had children, that isn't a guarantee that you've walked in your client's shoes. I've supported moms having cesareans, VBACs, single moms, moms who had 30, even 40 hour + labors, none of which I have personally experienced. I still supported them, and they were happy with the support. You'll do fine!
Childless doula?
)
You will find several of us here who have not had children yet...myself included. I've even met a fabulous lactation consultant, and to my surprise she had never had children, and didn't plan too. How many male ob's do you know that have had children? 
Everything else will follow!
Quote:
so true, medically we just accept this! However, like both tiankaesha and seaplay said, there is a fit for every doula! I too first wondered how a women who never went through childbirth could help a women in labour or feeding or caring for her child. However since doing my training, I realize it is alot of heart, commpassion and knowledge! Ultimately, a book can not teach you everything, but it can not also give you passion. If this is what you want to do, then yu will be great! And the gals that decide to have you by their side will feel the same!!
