How did you know being a doula or cbe was for you?

patricelondon · 05-28-2008, 12:31 AM

A few of you have hinted to another area I've been pondering lately...
I'm wondering if I really have what it takes to be a doula and/or cbe. I am one who loves to learn new things. I am also one who (when I worked outside the home) tend to get bored if things become monotonous. I guess I like change to some degree.
After having a bad experience with my first (hospital) birth, I began to do some research on my own and found that homebirth was what I wanted. Had I known it was an option, I would have wanted to do that with my first birth.
I had my second at a birthcenter as a compromise with my mom and dh because they freaked when I mentioned meeting with and interviewing midwives. My third was at home. I absolutely loved it and definitely want to do it again. I feel like I'm somehow addicted to birth and the whole process- not to mean that I want to always be pregnant but I suppose plugged in some kind of way. Also, I've heard so many ignorant comments made throughout my own experiences that I just want to get the word out that there are more enjoyable ways to give birth than going to the hospital and undergoing countless unneccesary interventions.
I never thought I could feel so strongly about something other than performing and homeschooling. I naively thought that one couldn't be bit by but so many "bugs" but here I am, longing in yet another area.

The whole thing truly resonates in my spirit. I thought maybe it'd go away but it hasn't. Here I am almost 5 years after it first occured to me to look at training to become a doula and the feeling is only getting stronger.

Dese · 05-28-2008, 04:29 PM

I hear you. I'm not done having kids yet but even though I don't plan on having another one for awhile yet I am still intensely interested in the subject. I love reading about it, learning about it, talking about it, and I also want other women to be able to experience an empowered birth.
Honestly the idea of being a CBE had never occured to me until someone mentioned it in the other thread. I think the reason why being a Doula is more appealing to me is that it is possibly more on a one-to-one basis, or just you and the couple... whereas I see being a CBE as more of a classroom group setting. But I could be wrong, it's not something I've looked into.
I'm still somewhat in the 'will I, won't I' stage of becoming a Doula. I haven't yet ordered my certification package with DONA. Partly because I think I'll wait until I've found an upcoming Birth Doula Workshop so I have more time to complete everything, and partly because of finances. But in the meantime I'm reading everything here and getting started on the extensive Doula reading list.

TommysMommy · 05-29-2008, 04:34 PM

I think you would make an excellent and passionate doula. You have a broad range of (birth) experiences and love for helping others. Pray about it!

patricelondon · 05-29-2008, 08:53 PM

Thanks so much! I'm definitely in prayer about it. I've talked to God about the desire for this area and asked Him to remove it if I'm not to do it or let it linger and grow until I do something about it if I am to do it.
So far, it's not gone anywhere since 2003 and now it's really nagging at me (so to speak). I'm eager to finish a book/journal I'm working on so that I can fully devote my time to certifying as a cbe and doula. It's exciting!

melba · 05-29-2008, 10:48 PM

Are you a performer?
The things in my life that I have been so passionate about that I couldn't stop obsessing and dreaming about have been--writing, acting, and birth. I was in conflict for years over how to incorporate all of my loves. I always felt like I had to narrow it down to one dream, that I couldn't possibly be so scattered and how on earth would I incorporate all of what I wanted to do into one lifetime...A few months ago a friend suggested that I combine them. She got me started on writing a performance piece about birth and feminism and the need for change...it totally clicked for me that that is where my activism needs to manifest--performance/writing/birth...
I really believe that you are meant to do this work. If it is "nagging" you, like you said, that is the universe begging you to pursue it. What is holding you back?

patricelondon · 05-30-2008, 01:33 AM

First Melba, I love your siggy girl!

What's holding me back? I suppose it's (at least in part) just what you said. Society tends to shun one who doesn't focus and excel in one area. You've heard the saying, "Jack of all trades, master of none", right? I said it is what's holding me back in part because I've never been one to put too much stock in others opinions about my decisions or way of life. If I did, I wouldn't be a Christian unschooler who co-sleeps, breastfeeds well past one year, wears my baby, practices EC, ... I'll stop here, cause I'm sure you get the point.

Yep, I'm a performer. I'm a coloratura soprano (highest soprano voice) and I also act, write, have done a little voice over work and have even danced a little. I absolutely adore the performing arts. In DC, I graduated from Duke Ellington School of the Arts which is very much like the old show "Fame". I loved that experience.

Someone who has written a play about birth is coming to NJ to run a show and will be holding auditions soon. I am definitely going to audition. I'll be so excited I'll have to be careful not to poop my pants.

As much as I love the ars, I love birth and pregnancy. At first, I thought I was destined to be one of those women with 10 babies.

I hadn't really realized how deeply involved I'd become in this area until my cousin who was pregnant around the same time I was kept calling me asking questions one would normally go to their ob/gyn or pediatrician with. She still does this today. She'd even come to me to tell me advice she'd been given (from a dr.)to make sure it was legitmate!

I should have been her doula for her second birth but I couldn't be there having given birth myself just 6 weeks before her birth. She was coerced into having a second cesarean. The first was neccesary but the second totally wasn't. I was livid. They told her that she'd rupture if she tried to a vbac so she agreed to it and regretted it. I told her, come hell or high water, low water or no water at all, I'll be there next time.

Supermomma · 06-02-2008, 10:55 AM

When I read your gals threads, i see passion! That's what it is. Being involved in the birth feild you must have a passion for it. I've wanted to be involved in it since I had my first naturally at 16. If i could do it, anyone could! I love pregnant women, babies, . . . .what ever! I think another thing about being a doula is knowing that you can't judge people. And i have never been quick to judge anyone, because you never know what life is going to throw at you.

patricelondon · 06-02-2008, 11:35 AM

"I think another thing about being a doula is knowing that you can't judge people. "

Very good point. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt with situations. Especially when so many others are harping on their "faulty" decisions. I'm always known for saying live and let live. But for some reason, I've assumed that my preference for natural birth would hinder me from taking on a client who goes into it wanting a cesarean or whatever. It just dawned on me how silly that is to think that in this area, I'd be completely judgemental when I'm not in any other area.

I never look down on people who don't cloth diaper, breastfeed, or unschool. I do those things because I feel led to, it has nothing to do with others really. Thanks a lot. This is really eye opening. I have a lot to learn.

momofmany · 06-02-2008, 12:52 PM

Patrice,
Like you, I feel like God has called me to this. He has put such a passion in my heart for it that I can't NOT follow His lead!
Boy, do I wish I could sit with you for coffee! I think we have a lot in common. I also homeschool our children and a few things you said really clicked for me. Join me for cyber coffee?

patricelondon · 06-02-2008, 01:01 PM

Sure! I'd love to! Is that the chat room?

doula Michele · 06-02-2008, 01:31 PM

Well... I knew it was for me when everything else I thought about doing just seeemd so boring! Its the one thing that kept coming back into my life. When I tried to quit, and do a normal job, the phone really started ringing with clients.
I can not say that I am passionate about natural birth or parenting or anything like that.
I am passionate about women being assertive enough to birth and parent ANY way that they want to. Natural, medicated, or whatever they feel is the best thing for them.

homesick742 · 06-02-2008, 01:50 PM

I have always loved being pregnant and giving birth. I knew after I was done having children that I wanted to continue to do something that had to do with pregnancy and birth.

patricelondon · 06-02-2008, 02:09 PM

LOL! I like what doula Michele said about everything else seeming so boring. I can definitely identify with that. I was one to work at a place and then once I understood everything I was to do and could do it in my sleep (so to speak), I was done. I'd become completely bored with it and wouldn't want to do it any longer. Their are very few areas I've not gotten bored with eventually.

I agree too that when I am done with having children, I'd want to be involved still. Even now, I have an 11 month old, I don't want to have another child right now but I'm longing to do or be apart of something birth related.

Precious_Partum · 06-02-2008, 02:14 PM

Patrice, I'm going

for a minute to say that I was a classically-trained contralto back in the day, and also had great times in a vocal jazz ensemble in high school. Sadly, I lost the passion for that and haven't sung a note in nearly 15 years, but I am very impressed that you got to attend Duke Ellington! you lucky mama!

back to topic, I don't think a profession in the birth field would ever really get monotonous; there is always something to learn, every birth you attend is unique, every couple you teach will challenge you in some way. I say, if you are genuinely fascinated by birth, feel compelled to be a positive influence in your world, whether by attending families as a doula or by teaching them as a CBE (or both), then that is where you belong. If you ever get burned out or lose the fire, you can always move on to anything your heart desires, knowing that you've helped change history along the way. Children are the future and I truly believe that the way they come into the world has an enormous impact on their family relationships and general outlook on society. The woman who helps to ensure that any child's birth is a positive experience for all involved is not only of great value to the child and its family, she also gains great personal enrichment by serving her sisters with compassion and gratitude. What a great job this is!

patricelondon · 06-02-2008, 02:24 PM

That was well said Precious_Partum! How cool that you're a singer too. (once a singer, always a singer

) Yeah, Duke Ellington was the best!

For some reason, I'm always surprised when people know about the school. Course I think it's the best thing since sliced bread.