Starting to have doubts

kathrynamaloo · 08-21-2008, 11:41 AM

I'm starting to have doubts about whether I'll be able to become a doula. I know I have the passion for it, and I am very excited of the idea of being a doula. My husband believes that I would be wonderful for it and is 100% supportive. But sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by all the information I am reading... will I be able to retain it all? I'm a slow reader (especially if I want to retain anything

) and I get so intimidated by the big reading lists and the information inside. Do any of y'all ever feel like this? I'd love to know that I'm not alone.

Supermomma · 08-21-2008, 12:30 PM

Relax!

As a newbie, I am forever overwhelmed. Between all the info I am supose to know, and all the info i want to know, but it is a forever process. There is no way you will be able to remember everything at once. I have only done 4 births so far, but each one has helped me to learn more, and remember more. As you start using the info you have learned it all makes more sense as well. Remember, no one expects you to be perfect. Take your time, and good luck.

Precious_Partum · 08-21-2008, 02:08 PM

There is a lot to learn, but there's no reason you need to know it all right away. I've been studying birth for 3 years, and I've only been attending as a doula for 14 months. I'm comfortable with what I know so far, but I still have TONS to learn. Just keep doing what you're doing. One book at a time, one magazine article, one birth video, one message board topic, etc. Your passion for this will guide your learning speed and style. And you'll get it. Sometimes, I'll be reading a book or an article about childbirth and I'll think, "why am I doing this? I know this stuff already."

Then I realize how much I actually have learned and retained. I'll keep reading it and repeating it until I become the expert I want to be. You can do it. I can totally relate to the overwhelming drive to learn it all and do it all and have all this knowledge RIGHT NOW! I felt the same way when I started.

You'll be a great doula. hang in there!

AngEngland · 08-21-2008, 10:10 PM

You NEVER reach the point where you "know it all". Nor do you need to!

Remember - they are not hiring you to know it all. They are hiring you to BE THERE. Remember, in the orginal study about continuous labor presence the extra person in the room didn't even interact with the mother in a meaningful way. Just the calm, PRESENT, being there will make a huge difference!
You will never stop wondering if you know enough. But you will always be able to give your clients much more than they would have had without you there.

Angela <><

KittyPaws · 08-22-2008, 08:38 AM

I have only been to 4 births so far and I was afraid like you that I would not remember what to do, say or what stage we were at but really it all just fell into place. Now when I talk to clients they say I sound knowledgeable which makes me feel better about myself and encourages me to read more. I have not stopped reading since I first took my doula training. I am constantly at the library looking for new books. It might seem overwhealming but just try to do a little at a time. Good luck.

doula Michele · 08-22-2008, 11:06 AM

You do not need to know and remember everything at once. You learn as you go, or you research new topics as you need to.
I think its like any other course that you study. At first its daunting, but little by little, you find that you are learning and you are remembering. And for stuff you can not remember, there are referance books to look things up. I think thats why most of us carry a referance book in our doula bags. Because sometimes at 2am I just can not remember things.

DL · 08-22-2008, 03:30 PM

I think we all keep learning as we go; we'll never know it all, not to mention that new information and research is always coming up. So, don't be hard on yourself. While you're supporting a mom through labor, your heart will lead you.

I went into my training period already fairly knowledgable about birth, but I still learned quite a bit and from the different perspective of being a doula this time instead of just a mom as before. What helped me as I started my reading list was that I kept a writing tablet next to me when I read. Whenever I came across something that was new to me, I took note of it and from what book it was from. Writing things down helps me to retain better, and a bonus was that having those notes on hand was a great help when it came time for me to do my cert. exam for CAPPA.

You can do this!

Just take one book at a time and you'll get there! You'll also find that you get into a groove and develop your own learning/study style that will aid your retention. What you don't retain can always be looked up later (another reason why the notes were so helpful to me).

kathrynamaloo · 08-23-2008, 12:16 AM

Thanks for the words of encouragement, I needed that. I feel better now, ready to pick up my books! I'm also excited to say that I'm going to start watching my friend's daughter (she needed a new sitter/nanny during the day) so I will be able to afford certification!!! YAY!! *happy dance* I'm so excited, so is the hubby!

bellymamadoula · 09-21-2008, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngEngland

You NEVER reach the point where you "know it all". Nor do you need to!

Remember - they are not hiring you to know it all. They are hiring you to BE THERE. Remember, in the orginal study about continuous labor presence the extra person in the room didn't even interact with the mother in a meaningful way. Just the calm, PRESENT, being there will make a huge difference!
You will never stop wondering if you know enough. But you will always be able to give your clients much more than they would have had without you there.

Angela <><

beautifully stated, Angela. I completely agree!

Cherylkind · 09-22-2008, 01:09 PM

I've felt the same way at times- but once you have people coming to you with questions and for guidence you'll realize just how much you learn.

Joyce in the mtns. · 09-25-2008, 11:17 AM

Y'know... I won't tell you not to feel a little anxious and doubtful because I think doubts are normal and that the place you are coming from is a valid place we all pass through and revisit from time to time along the path. I started along the path toward midwifery many years ago... took a detour through raising my children, and am now a doula (as I approach midwifery as a student again).

I predict, that once you are doing doula work, you will be amazed at how prepared you will realize you are. When I attended my first birth officially as a doula back in July, I wondered if I was really ready to do so and my biggest concern was that I really be able to support and serve these folks as they moved through the birth of their first child. And what a surprise to me that as the mom moved through her labor, I was able to deduce what stage of labor she was likely in by her demeanor and her body-language. You will be surprised at how you will begin to recognize all the things you've studied about. I realized- most all birthing follows a general pattern toward the baby coming out- and the babies always do come out, so beyond that, you add your comfort measure skills and you're golden!

It's ok to feel concerned about recalling info you might need or want. Maybe to minimize that anxious feeling, you can develop a small note book with the info items you most value or perhaps choose a smaller reference book to enhance with tabs/flags labeled for easy access to info you feel most important, to throw in your birth bag.

Finally... look at yourself- really! Go look in your mirror and see yourself: with your passion, commitment and humility, you really know as I know, that you can do this. And you will be WONDERFUL at it too. Ultimately remember, as others have said, that it is your presence that offers the most to your clients; just being YOU is your most versatile and useful tool of all.

lizthedoula · 12-20-2008, 11:41 AM

yes, i feel very nervous.
i have all the drive in the world to become a doula, but i'm scared to leave my son for long hours, scared about childcare issues, scared about the stress i may put on my family, nervous about client interractions and putting myself out there.

i think i'm just going to have to get over it, because even though i havnt attended a birth yet, i KNOW this is what i'm meant to do. at my training i was like, pinching myself to stop my goosebumps!

au_natural · 12-22-2008, 11:28 AM

I didn't have time to read the other's reply's so I apologize if I repeat anything.
You are going to be fine. As a doula you are constantly learning. With each birth comes new information. Just like people are unique and different, so are each births.
You have the support and love - You are going to make a wonderful doula

futureetndoula · 12-25-2008, 12:13 PM

I didn't post the original question, but I have to say, THANK YOU to all who responded. I too have the same fears and concerns. I haven't been to my first birth and am worried that I won't know or remember something. The answers here have really helped me feel more confident. Thank you all for your insight and responses.

dynamicdoula · 12-25-2008, 07:24 PM

Hey there,

We all start with the passion for it. Then our hands learn how to touch women and our hearts learn how to speak to them about strength and courage and tenacity. We learn how to observe the stages of labor and know what she needs with our instincts- we use our hearts as our compass to guide us. It's not about knowledge. That's a bonus, obviously, but it's not about that. You can TOTALLY do this.