Being A Doula Without Personal Birth Experience

Need2read · 09-29-2005, 06:03 PM

I was just curious if anyone on these forums had done doula work prior to having children..

I myself am only 17 and won't be having childresn for a while, but I am deadset of becoming a doula and I wanted to know about your experience

tlcdoula · 09-29-2005, 06:27 PM

No I did not. I didn't start doing doula work until I had seven children. Honestly I don't see why you can't do doula work. I think the only downfall that I have heard from some people is that some clients will want a doula who has had children, but then again if that is the case then this just isn't the right client for you.

Honestly I have heard of people who are younger struggling more not because they haven't had children, but because they are young. Is it fair? NO Is it right? NO

I say if you want to be a doula then go for it!!!

Tiffany · 09-29-2005, 08:31 PM

To me that's also like a midwife who doesn't have any children. I know PLENTY of student midwives who don't have kids yet. It shouldn't be a problem.. don't let it discourage you!

raspberrymoondoula · 09-29-2005, 11:31 PM

theres a couple great doulas in this area that started before having kids. if you've got the drive, go for it.

DL · 09-30-2005, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiffany

To me that's also like a midwife who doesn't have any children. I know PLENTY of student midwives who don't have kids yet. It shouldn't be a problem.. don't let it discourage you!

I work closely with a couple of CNMs. One of them has 5 children, but the other just got married 2 years ago and hasn't have kids yet. The one without kids is just as terrific as the one with 5. I believe it can be the same for doulas. The most important thing is that you have the desire, the drive, and a caring heart and caring hands. You'll be great!!!

Babies_Bellies_Boobies · 09-30-2005, 12:38 AM

kindof, i went to cb classes with my mom, and was with her while she labored. my youngest sister was born 11 days after i got married

fearlessbirth · 09-30-2005, 12:17 PM

A good point someone made when I asked about being a childless midwife was that EVERY woman's experience is different. And the doula or midwife could have had experiences a, b & c while the woman you are with could be having d, e & f...so it doesn't REALLY matter. I'm sure on some level there's a comraderie present between 2 mamas but in NO way do I believe it's a prerequesite.

Need2read · 09-30-2005, 02:12 PM

Thank you all so much for the encouraging words! I certainly wouldn't end my persuit to become a doula or a midwife because of the fact that I don't have children, but sometimes that doubt is allowed to creep into the back of my mind.

I've become more confident and driven just while reading through the forums, there are some beautiful stories and some truly lovely people on here.

Thank you again!

tlcdoula · 09-30-2005, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My2girlsmama

My midwife who is so busy she has a waiting list of clients (met up with her as I as a speaker at a homebirth info night recently again, all but one of the 5 couples there were HERS!)...she has no children and I believe JUST got married...........

NO one cares. She made my homebirth truly a dream.

That might be the case, but there was a young doula in my area who struggled with getting clients because she didn't have children. I am not saying it will happen or that it is right to do or that she wouldn't make a good doula, but that is how it is sometimes. Just like I met a couple one time who chose not to hire me because I have seven children and they were due at the end of the school year and although I never once said anything about having anything to do they just said that they decided to go with a doula who didn't have kids because with me having seven they know how hectic the end of the school year can be.

fearlessbirth · 09-30-2005, 04:38 PM

Perhaps a lack of confidence or that fear that not having children makes you not 'good' enough to be a doula sort of peeks out people pick up on it and interpret it the wrong way and tend to not choose childless doulas (when they choose that way). Stay confident and believe in yourself!!!

Kim Trower · 09-30-2005, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Need2read

I was just curious if anyone on these forums had done doula work prior to having children..

I myself am only 17 and won't be having childresn for a while, but I am deadset of becoming a doula and I wanted to know about your experience

I would love it if you shared to reasons that inspired you to be a doula. I think most of us had children and then felt compelled from that point but to have that drive before having children...something had to have inspired you?

Kim Trower · 09-30-2005, 10:33 PM

Just like I met a couple one time who chose not to hire me because I have seven children and they were due at the end of the school year

This is so weird to me....not that I know of anyone that chose not to hire me because of my kids (i only have 2)...but I always feel like they are concerned. They ask me where they go when I am at a birth, how do they handle me being gone...etc...I always just reply that this is my job and I have a great support team of family and friends and back up day care on top of that to ease their concerns. IT's just weird...like you don't go to your doctor and say stuff like that.

10-04-2005, 02:17 PM

Hi all, I'm a birth doula who's never actually given birth. I've been finding lately that a lot of potential clients are put off by this and am wondering what other non-mom doulas tell potential clients to reassure them that a doula can still be wonderful even if she's never given birth herself...

tlcdoula · 10-04-2005, 03:19 PM

I am sorry that you are having this problem. My heart goes out to you, because we all know you don't need to have given birth to be a great doula. What drives me nuts is do they ask their ob/gyn whether he/she has kids? I bet not. Plus if they want someone who has had kids and given birth I definitely hope they are seeing a female ob.

I forgot to say that I have seven kids, so I have never experienced what you are, but I did train a woman who was young and had no kids and was having the same problem. I don't think she ever really rectified the situation other than to accept that as a doula we don't always fit with the families that are looking and it is best to find that out right from the start.

One thing I would suggest is to make sure you only offer up the information they ask for. For example, I have had clients freak out when they find out I have seven saying "why didn't you tell me that" To which I always say "would that have mattered?" LOL

Need2read · 10-06-2005, 02:54 PM

To answer your question [kim], I originally wanted to help people...just as a child I wanted to save the world. As I got older I realized, obviously, that saving the world was an impossibility. I have always been fascinated with pregnancy, childbirth, and babies always make me smile.

In...the 8th grade (I was about 13 then) I had a friend who introduced me to these underground magazines called "Zines" I began reading a lot and eventually ran across one about a midwife and some of her birth stories (it also started out with her own inspiration for becoming a midwife). I knew instantly that is what I wanted to do.

After choosing the school I wanted to attend and figuring out all those little things I need to do first before I will actually be able to attend SMS I wanted to do something else...something along the same lines and something that would give me some experience & knowledge that you can't really gain in school.

So, after just figuring that I'd go to nursing school I finally spoke to a few nurses and actually had some dreams that really put me off on the whole idea of becoming a nurse.

in short ---nursing wasn't for me. It was kind of overwhelming having all of these plans and figuring out that they didn't really suit me.

I read some books and looked around on the internet and learned what a doula was.

and again I knew instantly that is what I wanted to do.

my apologies for the long story. =D