Need suggestions on how to support this Mama

teachinmamaof4 · 08-26-2006, 11:16 PM

She tried bf'ing her dd. Had problems switching from the idea that breasts are sexual to the fact they are for nourishing the Baby. She said the sensation of the Baby nursing "weirded her out"..so to speak. She ended up weaning at 4mo for several reasons but this was one of them.

Which makes me suspect possible sexual abuse in the past.

With that in mind, how can I help encourage her to bf with this baby? I think she's in a better place now in her life and is willing to try again. I just want to be prepared if she deals with the mental stuff again so that I can be sensitive to her feelings.

Babies_Bellies_Boobies · 08-28-2006, 03:18 PM

honestly it varies from woman to woman. i know with me (a survivor of sexual abuse) it has been nothing but healing to use my breasts for their intended purpose.

maybe others will have more insight. (hug)

fearlessbirth · 08-28-2006, 03:51 PM

I think some women just have to accept the 'funny feelings' they get when they nurse. Those feelings may be associated only with sex, until this point, but I think women should realize the same parts and hormones are involved so you may feel *special* at times. I had a friend years ago who had trouble with her first b/c he was a boy and she felt guilty or ashamed that she got an enjoyable feeling from him nursing and the only time she ever felt that close or intimate with another person was during sex. She met other moms and realized the sensations were normal and even to be expected.

Maybe you could approach it from that angle? That the feelings are normal and perhaps she could join a support group?

DoulaYvonne · 08-30-2006, 04:59 PM

Above all, praise her! Praise her for sticking through the "funny feelings" for a whole 4 months with her first. Tell her that she is doing a great job with mothering from her heart. Tell her you are proud of her that she believes that nourishing her child through breastfeeding is a wonderful and lasting gift. Let her know that you are there to encourage and not judge her. Give her the contact info for the local LLL group. Best of luck!