Making Choices Activity

[MothertheMother]

I learned this activity at my Lamaze Childbirth Educator workshop and I used it for the first time with my current OSD client and she really seemed to get a lot out of it. So, I thought I would share...

you make up a bunch of cards with childbirth scenarios on each side for example

epidural/no epidural
episiotomy/risk tearing
OB/midwife
cesarean/vaginal delivery
*one card should have healthy baby on both sides to point out that everyone makes choices with this in mind

I have a list of about 26 or so cards. So, you have client (or childbirth class) place all of the cards with the side up they chose for labor. This is great by itself. Once they have made their decisions you note that you don't always get to choose how labor goes so turn over 1/3 of your cards. Things you are willing to give up to still have a healthy baby. The big part of this is to process it with them. Once they have done that ask them to do it again, another 1/3 of their cards. Remind them they have to work together. You can't have a c-sect with no epidural kind of stuff. This one is much harder to do. Once they get to this point and you have talked about how hard it was to make these choices etc you go on to ask them to pick the 3 cards from their remaining 1/3 as their MOST important wishes. Then ask them if their dr/midwife etc really knows/understands that these things are so important to them.

I thought this was great to go over their choices, to get to know what they really want, it was great for them to get the idea that they need to stay flexible, that you can still work for some things if you give up others etc, and to let them know how important it is that their doctor is on board with what is most important to them.

Anne was at this workshop so please add anything else you got from this exercise I may have missed. I thought it was a great one and my client seemed to really take something away from it.

[MindOverLaborDoulas]

Christy~
I attended a CBE class in January that did the exact same thing. It was a real eye-opener! I had never thought of things like that, so to have it spelled out in front of me was a change.
I had wondered if it would work with my clients.. I think I will give it a try!
Ashley

[DL]

Thanks for sharing this, Christy! I think this would work great with doula clients, and I'll be anxious to try it! I guess I would've learned about it at my Passion for Birth seminar in September, but I'm glad to know about it even sooner! Great idea.

One question, though: About how long does this activity usually take? It would be something that I would have to work into my outline, which I'm very willing to do.

[MothertheMother]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doula Lori About how long does this activity usually take?

I guess it depends on when you do it with the clients. I did it in our last visit so she didn't really have any questions about what was on the cards...she already knew WHY she might chose one thing over the other etc. So, it probably took about 10 minutes. Also, you have control over what cards you use and how many. I eliminated a couple of cards before we started because I knew they didn't apply (like home birth/hospital birth and waterbirth/vs not in water) It guess you could use the cards in the beginning just to go over what the client wants and talk about why they chose each thing etc. This might be very effective as well. Then bring them back out to see if they changed their mind on anything and to finish the exercise...sorry I am thinking out loud...lol.

[neworleansdoula]

Lori,

I just noticed that you were taking your seminar through Passion for Birth. That is who I'm going through too. Did you complete all your learning activity sheets? I did some of mine, but there are SO many and all very good. I'm supposed to talk to Terri and see if we can arrange a conference here in New Orleans.

[DL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by neworleansdoula Lori, I just noticed that you were taking your seminar through Passion for Birth. That is who I'm going through too.

Cool beans! Guess what? Alldoulas members Christy (MothertheMother), Stacie, and Anne (capandcradle) are also going through PfB! The PfB seminar is the workshop that Christy was talking about in her above post. I believe that Anne (capandcradle) actually hosted that one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by neworleansdoula Did you complete all your learning activity sheets? I did some of mine, but there are SO many and all very good.

Oh, no...I'm far from it! I currently only have 8 or 9 tasks completed. To be honest, it's a bit overwhelming for me. I AM going to complete everything, but I don't see how I'm going to be able to get it all done in a year's time at the rate I'm going. I started all gung-ho in March, but I haven't worked on anything for a while (I've been in denial, but I think I've had a burn-out thing going on lately). I really do need to get back with it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by neworleansdoula I'm supposed to talk to Terri and see if we can arrange a conference here in New Orleans.

Oh, you should! I'm hosting the seminar in Columbus OH in September where Teri will be instructing; I'm now in the marketing stage of it. I'm very excited about attending! Would you be willing to pop me an email? (my addy is in my siggy) I'd like to discuss more PfB stuff with you in more detail, but don't want to take up Alldoulas space to do it. Hope to get your email soon!

[MothertheMother]

I think Lori and I are in about the same place with our PfB stuff...I need to get motivated and have given myself some guilt free time off until after my dh graduation/retirement party June 2...then I will be back in full force!!! I swear...hold me to that ladies lol

[capandcradle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MothertheMother Things you are willing to give up to still have a healthy baby. The big part of this is to process it with them. Once they have done that ask them to do it again, another 1/3 of their cards.

Valerie uses this a lot, however I have had a couple of snafus. I had one mom many years ago who was a VBAC mom, for whom "vaginal birth" was of supreme importance. I won't go into all that happened, but baby went into NICU and her sentiment was "I had a vaginal birth! I HAD A VAGINAL BIRTH!!"

Secondly, you really have to help mothers to understand the proactivity required (in our community) to have anything close to normal birth. So much cr*p is done to women and babies here in the name of "healthy baby"; with no improvement in outcomes.

But overall it can mean dialoguing & coming to agreement and compromise with her care provider, narrowing down a 20-page single spaced birth plan to 3 bullet points.

[fearlessbirth]

I really like this idea. It's a sort of subtle way of making the parents realize they DO have choices and the decisions are THEIRS to make. So many people assume the routine is mandatory and correct. WRONG! Lol I think it's also a great way to start dialogue, with their doula and their partner. Sometimes parents don't even think of things or think they'll be an issue. I have a friend now who just assumed the baby would be handed to her for BF after birth. UM, no girlfriend. Your baby's gotta fight for the right to boobies. Lol She also couldn't believe that she would have to stay in the bed continuously with Pit since he dr didn't mention anything about THAT. (ok now I'm rambling..sorry. Lol) Anyway, I think it's great too because the parents are making the mental choices and it's not the doula saying this or that is good or bad. Everything is presented somewhat 'equally' and they get to see both options. Alot of families don't know there's anything different...

Am I making any sense?

[Matrescence]

I love that idea! I've been looking for ways to make my prenatal visits more interactive (active), we do a lot of interaction on the second visit but the 1st one always seems boring to me This would work great in place of a worksheet I use now Thank you!!!

[Christina]

Kristi,
I would love to know what is on your 26 cards? Would you mind telling me when you get a chance. I love this idea but am having trouble coming up with that many cards. You can email me off list if you want. hookermom2000@yahoo.com

[MindOverLaborDoulas]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christina Kristi, I would love to know what is on your 26 cards? Would you mind telling me when you get a chance. I love this idea but am having trouble coming up with that many cards. You can email me off list if you want. hookermom2000@yahoo.com

Sorry to be , but your email just really cracked me up!!

[Christina]

Well, with a last name like Hooker you have to have fun with it!

[MindOverLaborDoulas]

hehe.. well that's a relief that it's your name, not a hobby!

[earthgirl]

Thanks for sharing Christy! That is an awesome idea!