How would one handle this?

[Stacie]

I was invited to attend a childbirth education class tonight to talk about the cascade of interventions. I have a fun demo I do with the participants .

I come to these series' regularly, usually to talk about breastfeeding. They cycle every 5 weeks or so.

Tonight, I was floored! There were four couples. One great "normal" couple. Two teen couples, very quiet as far as participation goes. One single mom, young, but not a teen, and obnoxiously loud, throwing out swear words, etc. My friend said it was such a change in this girl, that in her mind she thought, "Is she drunk? Oh duh, she's pregnant. She wouldn't be drinking." But that big of a difference in her behaviour.

One of the teen couples, the girl was 16 . She sat in her chair in a way where she was just about laying in her boyfriends arms/lap. They TALKED the whole time, to each other, very loudly! So loudly, once I stopped talking just to absorb how loud they were talking, and how disturbing it was to me! I could not believe it. They were obnoxiously loud!

After the class, I was talking to my friend who teaches it. She saved me a spot on the plushy, purple loveseat, which I have never sat on before -- usually I have a chair in from of the class. My friend told me, that couple usually sits on the couch, she with her head in his lap, he, playing with her hair, and them talking the whole time. That was why tonight she tried to stymie them by making them sit in different chairs, and it didn't work! The other teen couple is this teen girl's brother and his 18 year old girlfriend.

My friend said once or twice she has done the high school thing of saying, "Did you guys have something you want to share?" It quiets them for a minute, but it does not keep them behaving for long. I said she should phone them, ask them what they are getting out of the class, and potentially ask them not to come back.

But in the situation, what can be done to get them to stop without being a total meanie? I am supposed to go back in two weeks to talk about breastfeeding, and I just don't know if I can do it!

[AussieDoula]

As teens, I am assuming that this type of behaviour is acceptable in their own social groups and they may not be aware that it is really not considered appropriate here (or deliberately being obnoxious - give an inch and teens will take a yard most times).
Did the teacher explain the "ground rules" during the first class? Something to remember for next time perhaps - for example, I don't allow cellphones.

How large are her usual classes? Perhaps this particular couple is taking advantage of the small class size by perhaps being "too" comfortable and feeling as though their conversation isn't that disruptive in the smaller "familiar" setting. What type of room is the class held in? Is it an informal setting and class?

Does the teacher ask them to fill in sheets listing what the participants would most like to learn from the class? I do this in the first class and then make sure I cover every topic and go into lots of detail for the common requests. I mention it here as a suggestion because it might help them feel more involved/attached to the class curriculum if they know that the teacher will be talking about the things they want to hear.

How much of the class is group activities and participation? Some people learn best in an interractive group environment as opposed to sitting passively while someone lectures them. Maybe this couple learn best by repeating what they are told and discussing it in the moment? You didn't say what their conversations were about so I can't judge whether they were deliberately being rude and talking about what Johnny and Jane did last night or if they were talking about childbirth stuff...

One of the activities I do is to separate mamas from support partners (I couple myself up with a single mama if there is one) and we sit across from each other and discuss different scenarios and do other activities like that. Could you possibly try something like that for your next portion of the class so that it won't be so distracting to you?

I once went to a class where the men left to take a quick Daddies crash course while the women talked about breastfeeding (personally, I hated that idea - here was the childbirth educator separating mama from what is potentially her only and most important support through breastfeeding and Dad wouldn't have known a single thing about any of it because he wasn't there for that portion of the class, GRRR).
Maybe you can do something similar: Keep everyone in the same room but put the partners on one side and have them in "teams" answering questions about breastfeeding myths etc to keep them from chattering to one another...

I would encourage the teacher to take this particular couple aside to ask them what they really want to gain from the class, and explain to them that it is unfair to the other participants that they are being disruptive and possibly preventing them from learning what they have paid to be taught. Neither you nor the teacher want to be "meanies" but the best approach with teens is usually to be extremely direct in what you expect from them.

Is this a paid class? How does the teacher feel about giving a refund? If this behaviour is continuously disruptive to everyone else, I would be upfront and tell them so. If they didn't take that into account, I would politely give them a refund (or not - personal choice) and refer them out.

Good luck!

[doula Michele]

Yes I would suggest since its a small class..have them sitting around a table, and make it more of a discussion than a teaching format.

Michele

[Gentlebirthmama]

I would get rid of the chairs period. Have each couple sit on the floor, maybe on an exercise mat or pillows.
I think teens just don't want to be sitting in a 'class' of any sort. They've been bored out of their minds in school and the last thing they probably want is to be in another class at the end of the day.

I know you don't teach the series, but as a CBE, I like to get my couples up and moving a bit throughout the class...so, we do exercises at one point and I teach dads how to be involved with that, we do relaxation practice with dads massaging and helping her relax, and make sure there is a 5-10min. break where they can use the bathroom, get some water and a small snack like granola bars or something.

Obviously the classes need to be very stimulating for these couples, lots of interaction, not just discussion.

[emmabella]

Jeez, that is really wierd! I have about two hundred 15-25 year olds through my classes each month and have never had a situation like that. In my opinion people only act that way if they are allowed to. I would have stopped class immediately and gone over "ground rules". They actually respect you less once they get away with it than if you had called them out right away.

Young clients are definitely a whole 'nother ball game as far as teaching goes but all in all, once they build a trust relationship with you and bond with the other people in class, they really have a great time and are very responsive (at least in my experience). I've found that this age group works the best when there are at least 10 pairs, it is a lot less threatening for them personally but they also have to behave appropriately so they don't look stupid in front of the group. KWIM?