Scheduling Clients around holidays

heart2heartbirthmatters · 07-24-2007, 03:50 PM

Hi Doulas...
I just had a call wanting to schedule a new meet and the lady has a due date of Dec. 27th. hummmmm....so my question to you all, is how do you go about deciding whether to "chance" a birth NOT falling on Christmas/Easter/Thanksgiving/any other important date? Do you just ask your hubby/partner how HE feels about it, or poll the whole family, or just decide for yourself what YOU want.....ie, we could schedule AROUND the birth if it happens on THE day?? I mean, it's her first baby, her cycles are usually 28 days exactly....what do you think the odds are??
Thanks to you all....look forward to your answers!!
Blessings

DL · 07-24-2007, 04:02 PM

I come up with what I call "black out dates" (when I'm not willing to be on-call nor attend births for whatever reason) according to my dh and my schedules. For holidays, it's an all or nothing thing for me. Either I'm fully committed and willing to attend on a holiday if the birth happens to occur then, or I don't want to chance it and choose to make that time period a part of my "black out dates". If I get an inquirey from a potential client for during one of my blackout dates, I refer them on to other doulas. That's just how I do it.

brilliant · 07-24-2007, 04:15 PM

i grew up with a father who worked odd shifts and so he missed xmases or birthdays every once in a while. it sucked but we got used to it.

i will have blackout dates as well - it will simply be based on whether my family is planning on travelling for holidays (we spend some xmas's in various destinations). this year we're having xmas in las vegas so i won't take any clients with due dates around that time.

doula Michele · 07-24-2007, 05:18 PM

I book them anyway.... and with any luck it gets me out of xmas dinner with the extended family. We can only hope!

dorothyh · 07-24-2007, 05:46 PM

I do take clients around the holidays and then pray they don't go into labor on that day! LOL

Although if they do, I know I'll be there with them.

Christmas Day here is very low-key - we open gifts and spend the rest of the day at home, relaxing and enjoying time as a family. The only part I would be very sad about missing would be seeing my kids open their presents.

I would love to find a local Jewish doula to "trade off" the holidays with though!! If I did, I would of course make my clients aware of that.

One of my doula partners does not want to risk not being with her family on Christmas or her son's birthday (which is the day after Christmas) - so she generally does not take any births around the holidays.

I have had births on New Year's, Easter, and Fourth of July, and I've been at the hospital with clients in labor on two of my children's birthdays. I am very much hoping not to add Christmas to that list any time soon.

scarborogal · 07-24-2007, 08:21 PM

I haven't had this problem yet. But I know for me, it would be difficult to find doulas around that time. So I may take the interview only because I know I'd have a good chance of getting the gig. And at this point in my career, beggers can't be choosers.

K.

DoulaCBE · 07-24-2007, 09:32 PM

I don't have an issue with working on holidays (and yes, we do celebrate) so I don't worry about missing Christmas (we do Christmas Eve with my in-laws) or any of the other holidays.

If you can't bear to miss the holiday, use a great backup who doesn't mind working those days or pass on the client.

DoulaDani · 07-24-2007, 10:49 PM

I am not willing to miss my Christmas holiday with my kids and family, though other holidays wouldn't bother me much. I usually don't take anyone due within 2 weeks of Christmas for that reason, and the one year I had a birth scheduled with a woman who was exactly 38 weeks on Christmas, I let her know I wouldn't be available Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, but could do *any* other day she needed me. We had a New Year's Eve baby instead. I would've just passed her on to another doula, but she was a volunteer client, and nobody else had the ability to take her for free.

I don't even bother to ask my hubby about missing Christmas, because he would NOT be okay with it. In order for him to be commited to making my doula career work for our family, I need to sometimes sacrifice potential clients for the good of our family. I do not ever want my kids to look back on "The Christmas that Mom wasn't there". I remember experiencing that as a child, and I will not do it to my kids.

I frequently joke that if there's a holiday, my client will hit it. I've had babies on New Year's Eve (and came home so dead tired I was asleep at midnight), Valentine's Day, my anniversary (and came home so tired we couldn't go out), My dad's B-D party (twice), and other assorted times that were lousy timing.

I was listening to Michael Kline speak at DONA this weekend, and he had a great point... "Being a doula in solo practice is a non-sustainable lifestyle". How true! If we want to be able to serve clients for many years to come, we need to find ourselves good backup, and be willing to use it when needed. If we frequently miss important events, or are always on call, we will burn out too quickly and no clients can benefit from our support because we will have nothing left to give.

My

brilliant · 07-24-2007, 10:58 PM

i never realized that holidays were that important to other people. this is very interesting to me. it would never occur to me to turn down a client because of a holiday. (unless i wasn't going to be in town of course)

i actually think it would be exciting to be at a birth over xmas. being from a family that once ate xmas dinner in a taco bell in las vegas, i guess i have a different perspective of the holidays! lol...

syncreo · 07-25-2007, 01:12 PM

I don't schedule clients for the Christmas holiday because I wouldn't be ok missing the day with my family. It is a HUGE deal not only in my own little family but for our extended family as well. My brother and brother-in-law both work shift work and end up missing some celebrations some years and it is always a bit sad for everyone.

I do have amazing back-up with my 2 partners and we also have a former doula who is in midwifery school who doesn't celebrate holidays so she is often an option we use for potential clients.

This year I ended up having a client in the hospital with preeclampsia and threatened c-section on my birthday and I spent the afternoon and evening with her. The following day was my 'party' with friends and family and I spent the afternoon with her and then she was shipped out of town 2 hrs away for a c-section because our hospital was full. My back-up drove the 2 hrs to be with her after the birth because I was exhausted and they didn't want me to miss my party and disappoint my family. It worked out well, my clients were extremely happy that we did as much as we did and went that far for them but there is still a part of me that feels sad and guilty that I missed it.

I don't want to miss Christamas, I dont' want to miss a birth so I just avoid it all by not booking clients in late Dec., early January

missilla · 07-25-2007, 05:00 PM

it depends really it is a different answer each time. but i too am all or nothing.

missilla · 07-25-2007, 05:02 PM

i need to clarify. i normally do not like to take clients that close but there are people like close friends women who truly need me etc that i wave that thought. i have two little ones so i like to be with them, but my hubby knows the deal that is just how it is sometimes. he is very supported. i have yet to have one fall on a holiday but i do notice i have a lot that fall on sundays.

doula Michele · 07-25-2007, 05:24 PM

Yeah my kids are grown...and even though I love the holidays, its just a day,and xmas in my house starts about end of November and stays till New Years day.
I really would not care if I missed xmas dinner, especially if we are having to spend it with the extended family. So if i am on call it gets me out of having to host at my house...sorry, I'm on call, someone else can cook and clean up.

LatinDoula · 07-25-2007, 05:44 PM

I'm willing to take clients on holidays. I'm still living' with my parents, so i guess its not the same as if i were married or had babies! Hopefully i don't miss a good family event but if i took a client on, i believe i'm commited to her, and doula her!

heart2heartbirthmatters · 07-26-2007, 10:21 AM

thanks so much, gives me food for fodder....we're working it through here....not quite sure what I'll do yet. Christmas is VERY important to me and I think I'd be devastated to miss it. Going to see if I can find a backup that would cover for that one day in partiucular, and Christmas eve....and if so, then I'll attempt it. Seems like most mommas are late rather than early, so if I were a betting woman....LOL
Blessings to you all,