i have noticed that there a few mamas of many on the site. just want to pick your brains....what types of reactions have you got when announcing your later pregnancies?
i remember having -ve comments when we were pg with no. 3 - we had one of each why did we want more?? then after no. 4 we thought we were done so this no. 5 is goind to be a shock for most people we tell. i don't want to hear all the -ve comments that people will undoubtedly have for us.
i want some good comebacks for them other that hey mind your own business! as we homeschool we are out and about in the community alot and so often people look at us and say wow you have your hands full (based on arithmetic only as they are all pretty well behaved!) we always answer with yep but you should see our hearts. that usually stops any further comments.
so i'm after something along those lines. i live 1000km away from family so we are actually going to email them a belly shot asking them to hold back with their -ve comments 'cause we just don't want to hear them.
enough ramblings...any words of wisdom?
__________________ Michelle
Certified Doula (OB) Childbirth Educator (CBI) Breastfeeding Counsellor (ABA) Student LC Homeschooling mama of five (97, 99, 02, 04, 08)
Congratualations on #5. I only have 2 so far, but hope for 'many' by the time it's all said and done with. I like to be a smarty pants and humorous so my replies would be along those lines. Of course you could just tell them that it's really none of their business and to keep the mouths shut!
Maybe you should tell them that you are single handedly trying to populate the whole world. Or start you own small town.
Or you really liked that movie "cheaper by the dozen".
Or "no, 8 really isn't enough."
Or how 'bout, "gee we just can't figure out why this keeps happening??"
Maybe something along the lines of "this is our 'elder care' plan, having enough kids to take care of us when we're old and wearing grampers"
Just be creative. Have fun. And have as many kids as you like!
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B'earth Angel the absentee doula "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetuate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."
Congratualations on #5. I only have 2 so far, but hope for 'many' by the time it's all said and done with. I like to be a smarty pants and humorous so my replies would be along those lines. Of course you could just tell them that it's really none of their business and to keep the mouths shut!
Maybe you should tell them that you are single handedly trying to populate the whole world. Or start you own small town.
Or you really liked that movie "cheaper by the dozen".
Or "no, 8 really isn't enough."
Or how 'bout, "gee we just can't figure out why this keeps happening??"
Maybe something along the lines of "this is our 'elder care' plan, having enough kids to take care of us when we're old and wearing grampers"
Just be creative. Have fun. And have as many kids as you like!
OMG, where were you when I was announcing my 3rd pregnancy??
We got so much negativity and the worst was being asked by his grandparents and his dad "didn't you get a vasectomy Keith?" So, we've decided we don't care what other people think and it's our family and we will have as many children as God blesses us with. We are also planning on homeschooling BTW. Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS on #5!!!!!!!
BTW, we have one boy and one girl, and I've already got the "one of each, now your done" comment. Honestly, people just do not get "it". Children are a blessing. At times they can be overwhelming blessings, but still blessings.
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B'earth Angel the absentee doula "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetuate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."
That made me think, people ask all the time "were you trying for a boy?" When I say no and they find out we are expecting another girl they then ask if we are going to keep trying for a boy. UGH!!! As if girls aren't good enough! Whatever!
When, as a society, did we get to the place that 3 is a "lot" of kids? Good grief! I can see 5 and up as being more uncommon these days, but 3? Give me a break! Children are such an incredible gift. I just heard on the news last night that according to the Canadian census, couples without children now outnumber couples with children, so maybe that has something to do with it!
When, as a society, did we get to the place that 3 is a "lot" of kids? Good grief! I can see 5 and up as being more uncommon these days, but 3? Give me a break! Children are such an incredible gift. I just heard on the news last night that according to the Canadian census, couples without children now outnumber couples with children, so maybe that has something to do with it!
I totally agree! One of my grandmas had 4 kids and the other had 10! Now 10 is alot of kids! It seems to me that people decide what "a lot of kids" is by the number they decided was enough for themselves. For years my parents told me that if you have more than 2 kids you're crazy but they are ecstatic about baby #3 which was a complete shock! It's everyone else that gives us a hard time. Did anyone else see that Russia had a day this week for everyone to stay home and procreate! How cool is that?
We got a lot of "Was this an 'oops?'" when we were expecting #4. After we lost the baby no one commented when we got pg again.
Thanks Becca! I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm glad to hear no one said a word about your next pregnancy though! I think one of the hardest things is for some people to understand that we are open to any children we are blessed with. I'm a firm believer in 'to each their own' but with that comes those of us that believe God is going to give us what he wishes us to have. We are a NFP couple, not a barrier method couple so we understand that there is always the possibilty and we are okay with that. But explaining that doesn't always fly. LOL How is it having 4? Better than 3 and 3 is better than 2 and 2 is better than 1! More hugs and kisses and I love you's for sure!!!!!!!
Thanks for your all your comments girls...you know it's silly, but part of me would still feel more comfortable telling people that this baby was a surprise. I get into a heap of trouble with dh when i say that to him though! And i know, it's no-one else's business. I guess I should just add this to the list of things I do that put me on the outer of mainstream society and let 'em gossip all they like.
I've told a handful of people so far but admittedly only those that i knew would be positive! I will post an update when I spread the news some more
__________________ Michelle
Certified Doula (OB) Childbirth Educator (CBI) Breastfeeding Counsellor (ABA) Student LC Homeschooling mama of five (97, 99, 02, 04, 08)
That made me think, people ask all the time "were you trying for a boy?" When I say no and they find out we are expecting another girl they then ask if we are going to keep trying for a boy. UGH!!! As if girls aren't good enough! Whatever!
That is one of my pet peeves, too! Oh, and I SEETHE when I hear expectant Moms say things like "oh, I hope this one is a boy, girls are such b*&^%hes/too much work/can get pregnant." Or, when I was expecting #3 and had hyperemesis gravidarum and people would say "it must be a girl for you to be so miserable." (For the record, she WAS a girl, but I had HG with my sons as well... grrr)
What a misogynist culture we are in!
I also don't get why people think they can chime in on how many kids you have, from both ends of the spectrum. I have an aunt that likes to spout "it is cruel to only have one child and deprive your baby of having a sibling". Also, my dr doesn't want me to conceive again because my track record is bad (3 live births from 21 pregnancies, the majority of which had HG that got worse with each pregnancy, and preterm labor for both boys.) Last time, I nearly died from the HG and she STRONGLY discouraged having any more babies, so hubby had surgery. I WANTED 5 children, but people seem to think that they have a right to tell me that three is 'too many, as it is'. They get bug-eyed when I say that we'd like to adopt two more when we are in a better spot financially. LOL
As for announcing later pregnancies, I would be totally brazen about it. "Our kids are so great, we just couldn't deprive the world of another one." or "One more well-raised, well-loved baby to help save the world." My parents had four kids, and Dad used to say "we had to have another one... the baby was getting wayyyy too spoiled."
Hubby used to call it "upgrading the family genepool to the newest version." LOL We are such geeks!
__________________
Stef
Married mom to three.
Hubby: Martin
Kids: Colyer, 03/95; Joey, 07/02; and Avalon, 03/04!
CAPPA trained and newly CERTIFIED labour & postpartum doula.
my best friend is the mom of 8. she has said that she got the most comments when she had the third baby. people ask her all the time "don't you know what causes that?" her answer? "yep, and I am so lucky that my husband and I still love to spend that time together". her oldest dd is 18. when her friends make comments about her parents having so many kids she tells them "you are just jealous that my parents are getting more than you!"
I have four kids myself. when told that I have my hands full, I usually hold up my hands and say "nope, that would be ten." if I am in a mood, I will sometimes say "yep. it's a good thing that they are mine and not yours"
[quote=supportingmom;125959]I have four kids myself. when told that I have my hands full, I usually hold up my hands and say "nope, that would be ten."quote]
I am sooooo using that next time I'm at wal-mart!
We also had one of each when we got with our third. After our 1st son was born, we got that, "one of each! Now you're done!" thing from COMPLETE STRANGERS! So I'd say, 'Gosh, I hope not!' And they'd either lookat me weird or try and dig their way out!
We, too use NFP, and though NFP is the most successful other than sterilization (because you abstain when you are fertile if you're not wanting to conceive) we are open to whatever God has in store for us....I was SOOO not ready for #3, but the possibility of conceiving was very heavy on my heart...it seemed that God was telling me that my plans were not His and to let Him show us how much He loved us...we prayed alot and said, "Okay, God...whatever You say!" I ended up ovulating early and I remember telling dh the night we conceived (not realizing that I was O'ing) that I wanted to conceive our next baby that way !!! (I'll just say it was very romantic...ALL NIGHT LONG!" ) When I found out I was , I was terrified...AND REALLY EXCITED! But, I also felt like people were gonna be ugly about it....now that we've been through some unwelcome remarks, we have some comebacks ready for next time...my favorite is a t-shirt we saw on cafepress that says something like:
Yes I'm pregnant again
Yes We Know What causes It
No, We don't have too many!
When my mom joked that she hoped we would have more but she hadn't realized we were planning it that soon, I said, "we weren't...but God was...that's what happens when you pray!" So without missing a beat, my mom goes, "Next time you two feel like praying, why don't you send one of you over to my house!" (in other words, she didn't want us "praying together" just yet! ) I told her that it wasn't praying that got us in trouble....it was listening for the answer!
Okay, it's long again!
__________________ Looking forward to better protection of my privacy so that I can once again post and forge personal and lasting relationships with the amazing doulas here
[quote=familyway;125958]My parents had four kids, and Dad used to say "we had to have another one... the baby was getting wayyyy too spoiled."quote] I LOVE THAT! Oh, I'm gonna use that one! But not yet! (I ovulated at 4.5w pp and didn't know it until AF showed up! YIKES!!!! )
__________________ Looking forward to better protection of my privacy so that I can once again post and forge personal and lasting relationships with the amazing doulas here
(97, 99, 02, 04, 08)
Or start you own small town.
Quote:
Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS on #5!!!!!!!
More hugs and kisses and I love you's for sure!!!!!!!
Also, my dr doesn't want me to conceive again because my track record is bad (3 live births from 21 pregnancies, the majority of which had HG that got worse with each pregnancy, and preterm labor for both boys.) Last time, I nearly died from the HG and she STRONGLY discouraged having any more babies, so hubby had surgery. I WANTED 5 children, but people seem to think that they have a right to tell me that three is 'too many, as it is'. They get bug-eyed when I say that we'd like to adopt two more when we are in a better spot financially. LOL
with our third. After our 1st son was born, we got that, "one of each! Now you're done!" thing from COMPLETE STRANGERS! 
So I'd say, 'Gosh, I hope not!' And they'd either lookat me weird or try and dig their way out! 
(I'll just say it was very romantic...ALL NIGHT LONG!" 
) When I found out I was 
)
