co-sleeping

Need2read · 12-04-2005, 08:24 AM

*not too sure if this belongs here*
I haven't been blessed with my own little babes, nor am I about to have one but being a Doula in training babies are constantly on my mind. I am curious to know about co-sleeping not only as a resource to clients, but also knowledge for myself one day.

I am just curious to know if there is any facts saying that it is unsafe, and was wondering about any of your own experiences. Basically would you or wouldn't you and why?

tlcdoula · 12-04-2005, 09:18 AM

I have co-slept with my kids I say that because my last little baby (who is not a baby anymore, but instead will be 5 yrs old in March is moving her way out of my bed. Most nights she no longer sleeps with me, but she did for the first 4 yrs and 8 months of her life almost every single night. Before she was born we put the crib up, but I don't think she really ever slept in it. In fact we put it up with all of them and used it varying amounts. With my first I rocked her to sleep every night and then put her in her crib until she woke, same with my second. With my third I rocked her and she slept all night long in her crib and never fussed (she was such a great baby, but she slept better on her own than she did with us). My fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh I don't think ever really slept in a crib, bassinet or anything.

As far as safety of co-sleep sure there is a safe and unsafe way and it is the people who sleep the unsafe way that end up on the news and then the rest of us get a bad rap. For example, one shouldn't drink, smoke, take any sort of drugs (whether that is legal i.e. sleeping pills or anything else that will impair them or illegal drugs that will also impair them. Also to really co-sleep safely you shouldn't have pillows and blankets which can cause suffocations hazards, and I know I am missing a whole lot of other things.

As a doula I do not recomment where a mother should put her baby to sleep, and honestly I have never been answered so that "takes me off the hook" in knowing what I would do LOL. I "think" if a mother asked me I would probably point her in the direction of literature on safe co-sleep, but can't say for sure because I haven't been put in that position.

As far as why I co-slept gosh, the reasons are numerous. Number one it created very close bonding between us, and it was convenient, my babies slept better (after all who likes to sleep alone?). It was also convenient for breastfeeding because they were right there and so was my breast

Okay, and I will also admit that I was just too darn lazy to get my butt out of bed in the middle of the night!!! LOL

susan1 · 12-04-2005, 10:03 AM

As far as why I co-slept gosh, the reasons are numerous. Number one it created very close bonding between us, and it was convenient, my babies slept better (after all who likes to sleep alone?). It was also convenient for breastfeeding because they were right there and so was my breast

Okay, and I will also admit that I was just too darn lazy to get my butt out of bed in the middle of the night!!! LOL

[/quote]

I agree there is a right way and a wrong way to co sleep. It was easier for my family to co sleep. My babies slept better and I slept better when we co sleep. I know I don't like to sleep alone.

Susan

susan1 · 12-04-2005, 10:12 AM

This web site has some info regarding co sleeping.

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/a...scosleep.shtml

Susan

Kalamazoo Doula · 12-04-2005, 04:07 PM

I co-sleep by having the babies in a seperate bed, but in the same room! I do this for about the first 3-6 months.

I personaly don't have the babies in the bed with me, just for the fact I don't trust my husband, he is a deep sleeper, very hard to wake, and I'm afraid that he would roll over on them. And I have been told by some, 'Oh, he would know if he rolled over on them'. Well, I'm not going to chance it!

heathenmamaof5 · 12-04-2005, 06:38 PM

We play musical beds!

DL · 12-04-2005, 10:02 PM

With our boys, we co-slept off and on. We didn't "officially" decide to co-sleep (babes had their own cribs in their own rooms), but it just happened sometimes as I took the babies to bed to nurse. We'd doze off for however long....and so we co-slept.

Sometimes it would be just for a part of the night, and other times...it ended up being all night. I did keep the babies on the side of me away from my dh.

minmoto2 · 12-06-2005, 03:55 AM

We did/do too!

My 1st (now 11yo) slept in our room in her crib for 18mo or so...occasionally drifting to our bed during the night.

Our 2nd dd (now 6yo) slept in bed w/us from the get go....& I will do the same for any future children. It was so wonderful & let us all sleep better. I loved barely waking so she could nurse & drift right back to sleep

Cosleeping mornings were great too....best smile in the world to wake to

!

#2 dd started sleeping in her own bed about 2.5yo, but still makes it into our bed during the night 1-2 nites a week.

Dr. Sears website has some great tips on cosleeping safety, as well as the attachment parenting site listed by pp.

During the night baby was between me & guardrail, so hubby rolling over was never an issue.

tlcdoula · 12-06-2005, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My2girlsmama

With this babe now who is 20 months and again another bad sleeper (dh and I have a knack for creating these!

)

Oh my gosh, how funny. I thought only dh and I were creating bad sleepers!!!! Mine hated being alone too.

neworleansdoula · 12-06-2005, 06:05 PM

My son slept very well in his crib until he was about two. Then, he wanted momma! Even though he is six, he still loves to sleep in my bed.

Now, my daughter has been sleeping with me since birth. She has a cute princess bed and will sleep in it every now and then for naps, but she'd rather my bed!

They're happy, so it works out!

Babies_Bellies_Boobies · 12-08-2005, 03:51 PM

we have coslet with both of our kids., in fact dd, (who will be 3 in feb) is still in our family bed.

fearlessbirth · 12-08-2005, 04:30 PM

My friend is interesting in co-sleeping (1st baby due in March)...loves the idea...says it feels natural...but she's curious about how that works out with 'alone time' with her dh? All of my friends had a family bed and it never ever crossed my mind to consider how all the consecutive babies get made! Lol

Just curious if you could share how this works with your family. Thanks!

DL · 12-08-2005, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fearlessbirth

...but she's curious about how that works out with 'alone time' with her dh? All of my friends had a family bed and it never ever crossed my mind to consider how all the consecutive babies get made! Lol

Just curious if you could share how this works with your family. Thanks!

I've always wondered the same thing. It wasn't an issue with dh and I, as our babies were in-and-out of the bed......and our "alone time" happened to be when the babies were OUT of the bed (and out of the room for that matter certainly when they were toddlers)! I have an excellent childhood memory and can remember being a one year old...in my baby crib and sitting in the high chair eating cut up bananas and applesauce.

I'm constantly amazing my mom with the things I tell her about the past...and they are very accurate! I was very concerned about my toddlers seeing things that I didn't want engraved into their memories *just in case* they ended up having great memories like me. So.....how do you all handle this issue?

tlcdoula · 12-08-2005, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fearlessbirth

My friend is interesting in co-sleeping (1st baby due in March)...loves the idea...says it feels natural...but she's curious about how that works out with 'alone time' with her dh? All of my friends had a family bed and it never ever crossed my mind to consider how all the consecutive babies get made! Lol

Just curious if you could share how this works with your family. Thanks!

First and foremost you need to remember that sex doesn't always have to happen in the bedroom. After all when relationships are new people are spontaneous and as time goes by it changes and sex seems to be moved to the bedroom and stays in the bedroom only. At least that has been my experience and the experiences of my friends

Another thing we did was to just move the kids while they slept, do our thing and then when they woke up bring them back. It really isn't that difficult and you figure it out.

My dh and I used to laugh and say it was like when we were teenagers sneaking around behind our parents backs and having sex - you just get creative (oops, did I say that out loud???) LOL

Tiffany · 12-12-2005, 02:01 PM

I answered "No Way" but only for the SOLE reason that my bed is my bed and I hate sharing it!

Actually, I just can't sleep if someone is touching me, or near me. I have so much that already disrupts my sleep. My kids sleep in their own beds and don't mind one bit. Natalie comes to us in the morning and climbs into our bed to watch cartoons. That is fine with me because I'm not trying to sleep at that point, just resting.

So, I'm the odd one out and answered no.