Doula with husband at home

PamM · 10-24-2007, 11:12 AM

I have read some of the titles of this thread and did not see this one. I am a doula in training and have all requirement for my certs ready except the three births. I have one client due nov 21. I have quit my job to follow my dreams, which are to become a successful doula. My husband is a wonderful man BUT I am getting the impression that he does not think I can succeed. It is beginning to upset me.
I keep hearing that we have paid this 500 dollars for training and stuff but have not seen anything come in. I tell him...you all know what a doula in training would tell him

. My kids are all grown and out of the house.
I guess my question is...I am not even sure what my question is. lol I just wanted to vent

.

MothertheMother · 10-24-2007, 11:34 AM

I would tell him that most small businesses don't get out of the red within the first couple of years but once you take on a couple of paid births you'll be succeeding as a small business. It seems most successful doulas will say that it takes about 2 years to build a busy business. Word of mouth and networking is your best advertising and that just takes time. You are already ahead of the game in that you don't have small children at home (as many of us do) that will hold you back on the number of clients you can take. Just get out there and start networking. Once you find the first couple of clients the referrals will probably start coming in.

Tarstar · 10-24-2007, 04:26 PM

Good luck with this. I wish I had some good advice, but am sometimes going through the same thing when money gets tight here. I also have other members of my extended family who are completely unsupportive and regularly tell me what job I 'should' have. I try to ignore this, but sometimes it is discouraging. All I can say is keep plugging along, this is Your life and Your dream and Nobody has the right to take that away from you.

jkapheim · 10-24-2007, 08:33 PM

Ditto here
Sometimes passion and money don't get together as fast as we would like.
Keep on Keeping on.

I work 12 hours a week to "finance" my endeavor, it hasn't caused any issues as of yet. I do take on limited clients due to job and children (ages 6 adn nearly 4) My ultimate plan is when 4 yr old get into PreK next year I am giving it 100% with a little volunteer work at Sound Choices Pg center (formerly Crisis Pregnancy Center) and everything I do will be promoting my doula services and BirthNetwork here in columbus

Keep the faith and let us know if we can help at all.

doula Michele · 10-24-2007, 10:51 PM

I know its hard....and its a running joke in our house...that maybe someday I will make some money! My husbands equates the price of everything to babies.
If i say I want to buy some big ticket item its ' hey thats only 2 babies away'.
Keep at it, and time will tell if you need to reevaluate your dreams and goals.

PamM · 10-25-2007, 10:26 AM

Thank you all for the good advice. I am not going to let him ruin my dreams. I am also a Computer Specialist and I work will Dell on occasions, that makes me a little money now and then.

Do you think I am being too sensative?

PamM · 10-25-2007, 10:28 AM

Awesome...I just realized that i am a Junior Member. I have been waiting to no longer be a newbie. lol

Tarstar · 10-25-2007, 12:26 PM

If you're too sensitive, then we're both in the same bag Pam. But if we are, maybe that's what makes us great doulas!

:

MIA-D · 10-25-2007, 02:17 PM

My husband supports me in my doula efforts but he does not understand why anyone would need a doula as birth is a personal thing and it should only be mom, dad, midwife/doctor and a small number of nurses in the room. No family. No friends. No doula. I can argue with him until I am blue in the face and he will never get it. We did try it with our third baby, but he really is such a good support I only did it because my friend is a doula and it was a midwife she hadn't gotten to work with yet. Otherwise, for any future kids, it will just be back to me, him and neccesary medical staff.

Heather

PamM · 10-26-2007, 10:18 AM

I am so glad that I am not the only one who has husbands as this. Tarstar, I know its what makes us awesome doulas.

missilla · 10-26-2007, 10:45 AM

I have been blessed with a wonderful husband that is more supportive than I could have ever imagined.

but........

my friends feel the way that your husband does they are always bringing me down and saying I don't know if this is going to work or your putting all this time effort and money into a business tha may not work out or are you sure that you want to do this because not many women out here know or want a doula.

my answer to them is this is my life. I eat breath and live doula this is what i was put on this earth to do with the exception of being a mom. but i have to look at those people a just say i know this is going to work because i can't fail at a this. i won't let myself.

good luck and keep following your dreams

betterbirths · 10-26-2007, 03:28 PM

I am in the same boat as you. My husband thinks what I want to do is weird and he does not understand it one bit. He has said the same things. "you took your training almost a year ago" when I did a couple of free births it was " gee maybe I should just go and work for free" . I just listen and try and explain myself and thats it. I have had a passion for birth my entire life and I have spent the last 20 years working dead end jobs with no satisfaction and now it is time to do what I want to do and to do something that satisfies and fulfills me. Life is too short.I just joined a Doula group and we are working at a hospital on a grant doing births for low income moms and so I am making some money when I do a birth and that is enough for me.
I should say my husband is mostly wonderful he just does not understand why I am doing what I am doing and he has told me he wishes I would do something different, but it is my life and I am choosing to be a Doula. He will learn to live with it.

PamM · 10-27-2007, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missilla

I have been blessed with a wonderful husband that is more supportive than I could have ever imagined.

but........

my friends feel the way that your husband does they are always bringing me down and saying I don't know if this is going to work or your putting all this time effort and money into a business tha may not work out or are you sure that you want to do this because not many women out here know or want a doula.

my answer to them is this is my life. I eat breath and live doula this is what i was put on this earth to do with the exception of being a mom. but i have to look at those people a just say i know this is going to work because i can't fail at a this. i won't let myself.

good luck and keep following your dreams

Thank you for those encouraging words. I agree with what everyone has said. It sounds to me like we are all the same personality and have the same stregnths.