Having such a hard time with NOT being a doula

[AmbyUK]

Since we moved here I am no longer a doula. It's just not really possible, I don't have transport anymore or childcare very close by. I just miss it so much.

Someday I dream of being a midwife, but I don't know when that will be. I really miss playing a part in birth. *sigh* I don't think my husband gets how much it means to me. I feel like a part of me is missing if I can't be involved in pregnancy & birth. Anyone know what i mean?

[AmbyUK]

Argh, wrong forum! I have no idea how, I haven't even looked at this forum.. LOL. I meant it for General discussion!

[MyDoulaStacia]

Amber it must be so hard to not only being in different surroundings but to also have your passion put on hold. I hope that by you speaking to others in your new area you can make some positive connections that can take you back on the road to doing what you love and are meant to do.

[cathy]

AmbyUK
I am sad for you. That definately must be hard. Hopefully your circumstances will not be like this for a long time. Maybe you can do a lot of studying, reading or distance classes so when you can do it again you are even more prepared.
Cathy

[BeauChoix]

Give it a little time. I know it's the last thing you want to hear, but it's true. I must have lent you my shoes.

It's so much harder to start over again when you are in a whole other country. You loose your client base & your physical support network.

We've moved back from and back to Germany in the last year. I finally got to take training & we moved again. I just attended my second birth last week. Thankfully my client went into labor in the evening & I was able to get home before dh had to go to work.

I try to fill the void by reaching out for other doulas in the area to brainstorm with who are in my similar situation.

You are probably much more established than I am, but know I do understand. I hope that with time, your circumstances will change enough that you can share your gift with the women of your community once again.

Many blessings

[doulacoleen]

I just read your post Amber and I feel for you.

In July I moved four hours north of where I started my doula business four years ago. I haven't attended a birth since I've been here. I too feel like a fish out of water. I have been volunteering a few hours a week with a teen pregnancy program at a local high school. So I'm still doing some educating, but I miss the birth energy and being a witness to the beauty and power of the birth day.

Be patient. You are right where you need to be today. Don't extinguish the light within you to pursue a profession in birth...if midwifery is the direction you want to go, every life experience will make you a better midwife. Exercising patience is part of the journey. At least I know it is for me!

[AmbyUK]

Thank you so much ladies. I tried to see if I could volunteer at the local maternity hospital but they don't take volunteers. I'm not sure what else I could do locally. Nothing I guess!

This is why I don't come to Alldoulas very often. It just feels like a reminder of what I wish I could be doing. So corny but it's how I feel.

[Jilian]

I'm right there with you My doula-ing is on hold for a looong time too. Birth is my life and my calling and I feel sad not being involved in birth. For now I find a little comfort in just helping pregnant women find resources.

[jjblondie]

I know you miss it and I can kind of know how you feel. I am not certified yet but I enjoy the childbirth process so much and I am just waiting to get some more births under my belt. I am still working at the childcare angle but hopefully it will all work out. I had to really express my feelings to my husband so he would understand how important it is to me. Hang in there.

[WombWarrior]

Hi sweetness

I am new here and feel I have no right to post, silly I know!

I just wanted to say if Doul-ering is what your supposed to be doing then it will be brought back to you. Perhaps your supposed to be having this break for a reason! May that be spending more time with family or maybe your supposed to be furthering your learning in a different area to birthing and hence, should be studying again. Maybe that could be in the lactation area of you havent already or what ever interests you.


Could you still advertise yourself and have them come to you for the time being? It could work, and as a matter of fact it does! Some Doula's offer for the client to come to there home for the antenatal visits, and then you only have to get to the hospital when the time comes. Get a taxi if its not to far away. I am having to do this now and its going to work out.


There are always ways around things if you want it!!!


How are you doing sweetie?


Lots of love and laughter for 2008!!!

[Samantha]

You could contact your local NCT (National Childbirth Trust) branch and speak to some of the antenatal teachers - we often have 'assistants' at classes. Often those assistants get asked by the pregnant women to support them during birth. It might be a way of getting contacts with the local antenatal/childbirth community. I'm sure you'll soon get a network of people who will offer to babysit and support you in doing what you do. There is a Scottish Doula group as well......................The Scottish Doula Network.

I hope you settle soon and find you can fulfill your passion.

[jkapheim]

It is such a struggle when you feel like your circumstances are standing in your way of doing what you feel led to do.

Don't give up. Have you thought of going the CBE route? You would have set hours and be in the "birth" area at the same time.

Reach out to those networks in your area.

ANd most of all enjoy the time there and your little ones during this time.

I pray that you will soon be blessed with opportunities that will fulfill your passions.

Good luck to you and we love hearing from you here at