I used to be able to juggle my birth work and my role as a mother fairly easy. In the past, I would either have DP stay home with kiddo, or take my little one with me when it was "appropriate" (some of my classes, workshops, and the odd prenatal or postpartum meeting).
Most of the time, I was fortunate that the births I attended somehow managed to occur overnight when kiddo wouldn't miss me too much, and the rest of my work was planned for times that were conveniently scheduled around DP's work hours.
Now that I am taking on a larger workload again, and kiddo is a couple years older, it is becoming difficult for us to be apart. Despite reading books about birth together, watching lots of birth movies, meeting some of my clients/newborns, and talking about Doula work, I think my toddler may have still had a little trouble fully grasping what it is I am doing and where I disappear to for hours on end.
I finally decided to sign up for one of our local Sibling Classes last week. I really think that seeing first-hand where Momma goes, the types of families I am supporting, the hospital rooms, and the nursery helped make it more "real" to my sweety, and I am already seeing a difference emotionally when talking about my work.
I just wanted to share the idea here for anyone who may have kids in the 3-6 year age group struggling with your unpredictable work schedule. Our local class was free, allowed the kids an opportunity to dress a babydoll, visit the labour ward, and see real babies. I was able to show kiddo exactly where I work, see the rooms I would be in, play with the bed , and point out various things that I knew would help ease some of the sadness of missing me by replacing it with "cooler" aspects of my job.
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Aw, how sweet. What a good idea. I don't have children, but I can't imagine having to leave your little ones for prolonged periods of time. It's hard enough for me to be away from home for "long" periods of time as it is!
I find at that age no matter where they know you are going and what you are doing, they still want their moms. I hate to use the word selfish, because they are not.... but at that age the world and their moms should revolve around them, or so they feel in their own little minds.
Sometimes I find births really long and I miss being at home....so imagine for a wee one, it is a super long time waiting for momma to come home.
It will get better..... oh wait, no it doesn't. Cause then the kiddo is going out for a life of his own and its momma that is home waiting for him to get home.
Sometimes I find births really long and I miss being at home
I actually called home crying once because I was so frustrated with a client who was resistant to any support and it just made me so upset to know my little one was missing out because I was there trying to help this mama have her baby. It just felt so crummy to feel unappreciated and ineffective after more than 30 hours away from home, missing my sweety, and feeling like I was up against a brick wall with this mama who just wouldn't let go and give birth. I'm a mama too, only human, and I missed my little baby.
__________________
Yesterday is history; tomorrow a mystery. Today is a gift...
That's why we call it the present.
Every once in a while this shallow world surprises us with depth.
This Member Says "Thanks!" to AussieDoula For This Post:
That is a great idea Aussie! My oldest is only two, and oddly enough ALL my births have been in the middle of night. I'm sure that trend will change pretty soon, so I haven't had to face HIM missing ME. I miss my boys all the time when I'm gone though. It's hard! I love what I do, but... it's just hard.
Aussie - OF COURSE!! I just had this epiphany as well!
My son is almost 6. His father and his new Step Mom just had their first baby in November. His Dad didn't see it all that important that my son go to the Sibling Class at the hospital to prep for his new baby brother. I, on the otherhand, felt it was SO important that I paid for and took him to the class. (Dad and StepMom finally did end up coming along, so it was the 3 of us - which was great!) My son was able to see all the other mommies with pregnant tummies, see the hospital where I go to help the mommies have their babies and see the rooms and a Birth Ball. He told his teacher, "Hey, My Mommy has one of those!"
Then, yesterday I was explaining to him that I may be away for a little while because I have 2 mommies due right now (the first since his class). He says, "OH Mommy! You need this!" He runs to the basement and carries up my Birth Ball, which is nearly bigger than he is. "You need your Birf Ball for the Mommies!" (We are working on the "th" sound!)
I don't think he really understood where I went, or what I did until that day and then it all just clicked, like a lightbulb went on in his little head! I HIGHLY suggest sibling class even for older kids too! Good suggestion!
That's a great idea Aussie! It sounds like your little one really enjoyed it and will feel more connected to you when you have to go off to help other Mamas.
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My DD, who is now 7, hardly cared that I was gone. (Still doesn't care much now.) She was always going to someone's house she knew, plus she has hardly ever been sad to see me go! Always excited when I come home, just not sad when I leave. My now 2yo DS misses me more. He's more introverted & more clingy than my DD.
I find that I miss them though. I just want to snuggle with them when I get home!
Despite reading books about birth together, watching lots of birth movies, meeting some of my clients/newborns, and talking about Doula work, I think my toddler may have still had a little trouble fully grasping what it is I am doing and where I disappear to for hours on end.
I really think that seeing first-hand where Momma goes, the types of families I am supporting, the hospital rooms, and the nursery helped make it more "real" to my sweety, and I am already seeing a difference emotionally when talking about my work. 
, and point out various things that I knew would help ease some of the sadness of missing me by replacing it with "cooler" aspects of my job. 
Quote:
I actually called home crying once because I was so frustrated with a client who was resistant to any support and it just made me so upset to know my little one was missing out because I was there trying to help this mama have her baby. It just felt so crummy to feel unappreciated and ineffective after more than 30 hours away from home, missing my sweety, and feeling like I was up against a brick wall with this mama who just wouldn't let go and give birth. I'm a mama too, only human, and I missed my little baby.
I just had this epiphany as well!
