Husbands of doulas

I am just starting out and am most nervous about the scheduling
challenges that will arise when I need to attend a birth and how this
will affect family and primarily husband. How have other husbands
adjusted to the lifestyle of their doula wife? As it is, I plan to
start out very slowly, taking one birth at a time, but it still weighs
on my mind. I would really appreciate hearing how others are handling
this issue. Thanks!

[doula Michele]

My husband is pretty awesome. We do not have any small kids though. But he will take my calls, and make sure that he forwards messages and makes she he knows where I am in case a mom calls the house.
He starts my car at 2am while I am quickly brushing my teeth and getting dressed, and waits up till I call and tell him I arrived at the hospital. ( I have a 1/2hr drive on rural roads)
He knows that I am always on call, and accepts that i may have to leave where ever we are at a moments notice. (this weekend it may be firemans ball.... LOL he likes that I often am the designated driver because I am on call).
He really just accepts that this is my job, and its just as important as his, even though I do not make as much money. It may be a different story if he had to arrange the babysitters if we had small kids though.

[AmandaB]

My husband has been there every step of the way. He is currently the chauffeur (I am working on it girls, if it would just stop snowing already). He told me last night that he is proud of me and what I have accomplished in 3yrs. He understands that we can't have normal vacations like everyone else and that we compromise. You need to communicate your needs.

[MamaMichelle]

My husband is SO supportive and encouraging! He tells me all the time how proud he is of me for what I have done so far and what I am doing in general. He keeps asking if anyone has called or emailed and cheers with me if I've been contacted. He actually bought the CBI program the night I was debating on spending such large amount of money. At the first (and only so far) birth he took over with the kids, no questions asked and wished me luck.

Is there a reason you are concerned? Is he supportive of you becoming a Doula?

[MothertheMother]

I'll be honest, my husband is super supportive emotionally of my birthy stuff but he's just the kind of guy that doesn't like having his world disrupted. As long as it doesn't affect his job he's ok but he huffs (though he'd deny it) at the idea of leaving work early or taking extra days off. He likes to think he is more supportive than he actually is He has no problems with taking over the care of the kids but didn't love it when I first started a couple of years ago. Now that the kids are a bit older it's not even an issue. He just thinks he's being supportive because he doesn't complain when I am away from the house and he misses me. He doesn't realize that there are many things that he could do that would actually HELP me to do doula/cbe related things. But he is a man

[Precious_Partum]

My husband says he's very supportive, but I can tell it's quite a disappointment to him when our plans are interrupted, and he still doesn't quite "get" that he shouldn't call to check up on me in the middle of a birth! He'll get used to it it time.

[MIA-D]

My hubby is all for me being a doula. He says it has improved my self-esteem and confidence in myself. He is okay with the oncall thing and I usually try to work around his schedule and not have him take time off to get the kids or whatever but we live around a ton of family so usually that is not a big deal. He doesn't even mind when I do those pro-bono births because he knows that being a doula is what I enjoy even at midnight. He knows it isn't about making the money. I am very glad I have his support.

[LeahM]

I'm just starting out too. My husband is mildly supportive. He's the type that since it doesn't really affect him (we have no kids) he doesn't really care. KWIM? I'm sure once I get some business he'll be more... interested I guess, but he definitely won't mind me being out of the house/on call (he loooves his alone time).

[missilla]

My husband is WONDERFUL to say the least.

He supports me more than I could have even imagined. He is my Mr. Doula. He watches the kids, rearranges his work schedule to accomodate mine, he helps me with billing, filing, and business aspects of the doula world.

He is always wanting to learn and listen to my experiences as a doula. He pushes me to be a better doula everyday.

He drives and picks me up from every birth so i can sleep or decompress if i have to. If the birth is close to home I drive but as soon as I am out of a birth I am on the phone with him. telling him what a wonderful job my mom and partner did.

When I am fustrated or mad about something that happens to me he is there to work me through it and sometimes see it in a different perspective.

He watches my birth movies, listens to me talk about every book I have read and has completely into the business of being born and what we can do to help the birthing field.

So to say the least i could not ask for a more supportive and loving husband.

[scarborogal]

My husband is incredible. He listens to my rantings about hospitals and what not. He is a great receptionist for taking client calls, he knows so much about being a doula and what I do. And he is always good for getting the kids ready in the morning if I"m out at a birth and my mom is coming to watch them.

[doula Michele]

Quote:

Originally Posted by missilla My husband is WONDERFUL to say the least. He supports me more than I could have even imagined. He is my Mr. Doula. He watches the kids, rearranges his work schedule to accomodate mine, he helps me with billing, filing, and business aspects of the doula world. He is always wanting to learn and listen to my experiences as a doula. He pushes me to be a better doula everyday. He drives and picks me up from every birth so i can sleep or decompress if i have to. If the birth is close to home I drive but as soon as I am out of a birth I am on the phone with him. telling him what a wonderful job my mom and partner did. When I am fustrated or mad about something that happens to me he is there to work me through it and sometimes see it in a different perspective. He watches my birth movies, listens to me talk about every book I have read and has completely into the business of being born and what we can do to help the birthing field. So to say the least i could not ask for a more supportive and loving husband.

Ok..my husband is not that good.
He is supportive of what I do, but thinks I am nuts for even wanting to do it. He will listen to bits and pieces of my doula life, but I really do not bother to bore him with the details. he and his friends make crazy birth jokes about me, buts its ok.. cause they are funny.
And watching birth movies.....not a chance!
Although I am not much interested in to many of his blueprints either, so we are even. Just because we are not really interested in the details of each others careers does not mean we are not supportive of each other.

[DoulaMegz]

My husband is too analytical to get this. I've just informed him that I'm doing this and I'll do my best to help him adjust. In the mean time, he's a pain in the butt. When I leave for a birth he asks me "When will you be home." When I say I don't know he says "well, can you give me a guesstimate?" yeah, he'll come around eventually!

[Supermomma]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Precious_Partum he still doesn't quite "get" that he shouldn't call to check up on me in the middle of a birth! He'll get used to it it time.

This is so funny! I have only attended two births but it seems at both times he's called during the final stage or at pushing! Like I could speed up the process! LOL! But all in all, my dh is the best I could ever hope for! My newest client is due in the fall and dh is the partners supervisor. So I'm hearing that my hubby is telling her hubby all about pregnancy and birth . . . I'm not sure his story is the same as mine, but he tries! LOL!

[amymaew]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supermomma This is so funny! I have only attended two births but it seems at both times he's called during the final stage or at pushing! Like I could speed up the process! LOL!

My dh is like that - he keeps asking when I'll be home. How the heck do I know?!?!? Just b/c my babies come fast doesn't mean all do! I finally taught him how to text and told him I'll return his text as soon as it's convenient. Granted, sometimes I'll have 10 texts to read, but it's much easier than him calling lol.

[doula Michele]

Yeah.. I love texting!