Single Parent Doulas

[MemorableMoments]

Single parent doulas please tell me any tips and sage been there done that advice the you have to offer
Thank You

[doula Michele]

I think you need really good support!
My daughter is pregnant, a doula and a single mom. But she only lives 2 minutes from our house, and my husband works from a home office, so if she gets called to a birth and I am already at one, then 'grandpa' can look after baby.

[amymaew]

I agree with Michelle - you need really reliable childcare. My midwife is a single mom to two boys - ages 8 and 6 iirc. She has people who she can count on to come watch her boys, even if it is in the middle of the night. Good luck!!

[supportingmom]

yep. support is where it is at. I have a young single mom who lives with us. living with us allows her to be a good mom and still finish being a teen. in return, she watches my kids overnights if I have a birth. in a big pinch my mom will stay over. my oldest is 15 and he is ok with the kids during the day but not comfortable overnights.

[joanna_b]

DH is deployed right now so I am parenting alone. I'm currently staying with my parents and they watch the kids for me when I need them to and my DH's parents live about 5 minutes away so I can drop the kids off with them in a pinch. When we move back home, where I don't have any kind of family support, I will pay a woman on my street a "retainer fee" to be on call to watch my kids for me during my on call times.

I also try to schedule all of my prenatls and PP visits on the same day so I can be gone for 6-8 hours at time, 2-3 days a month vs being gone a couple of hours at a time on numerous days. It's easier for me to find childcare that way too.

Good luck!

[SereneDoula]

I am a single mother, on the fringe of attending births again. I actually don't even have family near by or a person I can count on for my childcare...I have a list of people that are willing to do it if they can. I will just go down the list until I hit someone available. I pray that this is temparary and I find someone reliable.
I became a doula while I was married with a very supportive husband. Bottom dropped out and I had to put it all on hold...I gotta get back to it so here I go on my own! I am really just going on faith that all will be well.

[MemphisMotherCare]

Hi mamas,
I'm a single mama doula too. I adore attending births, and will every time I have one to attend, but I have alot easier time finding childcare during the day for my postpartum work. I have never stayed overnight for a client, so I arrange day time care, a mom who already is home with her children) and the kids go to her every time. I really like the idea of having another mother stay with me so that I can leave without having to arrange childcare. I'd hate to miss a birth, but I know others have and it wasn't the end of the world, just the end of that particular birth. I usually have other people on stand by just in case the babysitter can't take the kids. I homeschool too, so this would be easier if they were in school, but I love homeschooling them.
Just fyi! HTH's.

[Alidoula]

I have been doulaing for 9 years as a single parent. I have attended about 15 births, not near as many as I would like to have attended but it is really hard. Thankfully I had my mom to help me out. For me it was not just getting to the birth it was coming home from the birth, and having to pick up right where you left off. I found that my kids needed me so much after being away and sometimes yanked out of bed in the middle of the night. I found it really hard to come home from a birth and be there for them emotionally, not to mention how physically tired you can get. Single parenting is a feat in itself. Attending births meant some times I had to miss work, and going back to work is exhausting enough. I get frustrated with trying to explain to people what we do and why.

[Mother24]

Lots of friends. Phone numbers to run through at any time of day or night. Oh yes, it's hard. But it'll be so worth it!