I think I need to go on Maternity Leave...

FrederickDoula · 08-22-2008, 04:40 PM

I really wanted to keep supporting clients for another month or so, as I have been feeling great and active with this pregnancy, but I just got home from a very emotional birth, and I have to admit, I almost lost it

Mama ended up with a section, after laboring for 24 hours for a VBAC, and I was sooo upset for her. To top it off, the baby had to go into the NICU for at least 48 hours due to a temperature at birth.

After it was all over, I went out to my car to call my Husband to tell him I was on my way home... and I think all I got out was "(Clients name)... blubber blubbber.... C-Section... blubbler sob blubber... 24 hours of labor.... sob sob.... was all the way to 9.5 cm... sob sob... NICU!!"

For a moment, I thought I was not cut out for the "doula thing". I took a deep breath and realized my hormones were talking.

It is too hard to keep my cool, and I can NOT be blubbering at a birth. I mean, a tear or two when the baby comes out is one thing, but I can't be, well, sobbing.

So I guess that was it for a while

AmandaB · 08-22-2008, 05:50 PM

Nicole ~

I am totally with ya. I am a mere 3wks ahead of you in pregnancy and I had decided that after my next 2 clients go in the next few weeks, I am officially off call. I am actually happy for the break. You should take your time for yourself and your family.

DL · 08-22-2008, 06:47 PM

I really admire you doulas who can attend births for any length of time while pregnant. I don't think that I could have handled it physically nor emotionally. Anyway... In my book, you've well earned a maternity leave! Take this time to rest and focus on growing your sweet one. Well done, doula!

Precious_Partum · 08-22-2008, 06:49 PM

Nicole, I've gotten the same way after births, and I'm not pregnant. I can only imagine how hard it must be with all those extra hormones surging! Even though you're still feeling physically able to doula, I can tell that you want to avoid the emotional stress of trying to fight your own hormones or potentially effecting a client's birth. (That would be my personal concern, too.) I say, take a little break and let your hormones have their way.

Be free! You deserve it!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Happy thoughts to you and baby girl! You'll be back doula-ing in no time.

FrederickDoula · 08-23-2008, 11:13 AM

Thanks girls. I seriously teared up re-reading my post this morning and reading your responses. I am waaay too emotional for this right now. At some points, I feel it was irresponsible of me to try to continue to go to births, for both me and my clients. I am just glad I recognize it now. Im done for now. I guess I am stressing because that means no more clients for a while, since I will be exclusively breastfeeding my newborn for at least 6-8 months (as in no other food, or anything. After 8 months, we will start to introduce foods, but who knows? DD didnt eat anything until she was 11 months.), and DD would not take a bottle, so who knows when I can go back to "work". I also do not want to leave my newborn for the first 6 months at least. *sigh* I will have to just live off of my own birth high

Brandy · 08-30-2008, 04:27 PM

I have to say the same as the others.

Even with PMS, its hard LOL

:

bcarrera · 08-30-2008, 04:33 PM

DITTO to all!

Many

...it may be time you get ready for you OWN birth !!!

DoulaMegz · 08-30-2008, 06:48 PM

I had this experience doulaing for a friend in May. I LOST IT in the room after they wheeled her out for an urgent c/s. I feel your pain. though I did decide to take one last client in the hopes that she will acheive her planned natural, normal birth. She's due October 4th, and I'm due November 12th. I'm actually not nervous about being so pregnant at her birth. I really want to do it. But I definitely know what you mean.