How involved is your husband/partner in your doula business?

[heart2heartbirthmatters]

I mean, do you discuss every detail of your business and clients w/him? Do you ask his opinion on whether to do trainings, do free/discounted births, what marketing to try/do, how much time to spend w/clients both on the phone/in person, which bus cards to purchase, is the excess $$ family $$, or is it yours?...does he get a "say" or are you fully president?....or do you just do your own thing and he's not @ all a part of it.....or are you somewhere in the middle?

[amymaew]

I just do my own thing and he's not really a part of it. I don't give him any advice about his job (other than 'you better get your butt to work') and he doesn't give me any about mine. Plus, he's a 'fixer' and it drives me insane so I don't really talk about my job to him.

[DiscoDoula]

It's mine, but I will sometimes vent to him, or ask his opinion. I have the say about the money, but I'm the one who deals with the finances ( ) around here.

[AmandaB]

I am sole proprietor but my hubby is involved because we are partners in life. I do ask his opinion before I take another training, he hears the birth stories first, he drives me around to interviews and meeting and usually to births. He is just as on call as I am. I ask him his opinion but ultimately the decision is mine as to how I run my business ... but when money is involved and it means forking out 200-600$ for more trainings then I need to consult with him, as every penny of your earned income goes into the joint chequing account to pay rent, bills and the overall function of our household.

[doula Michele]

My business is mine. He is pretty supportive of what I do. I think he would like it if i had normal work hours too. But it really does not matter to him.
We have seaparte vehicles, so I never have to worry about schedualing the car or anything like that.
I discuss things with him sometimes...pretty much just outcomes. Everything else he gathers is just what he hears me discussing on the phone.
My money is mine, but it usually goes to bills. But he doesn't keep track or even ask about it.
I don't really discuss training with him, I just take whatever I am interested in at the time.
He does not have a 'say' in anything I do when it comes to my business. But he is so busy running his own successful business, that he really can not be bothered discusssing the colour of my business cards or thinking about my clients.

[dorothyh]

Quote:

Do you ask his opinion on whether to do trainings, do free/discounted births, what marketing to try/do, how much time to spend w/clients both on the phone/in person, which bus cards to purchase, is the excess $$ family $$, or is it yours?...does he get a "say" or are you fully president?....or do you just do your own thing and he's not @ all a part of it.....or are you somewhere in the middle?

No to all of it.....he doesn't want to hear all the details, and I probably share more than he wants to hear!

I give him a heads up at the beginning of the month of what the next few weeks look like birth-wise....I let him know when I have someone going into their 2 week window so he is aware I could be leaving for a birth...I let him know at the beginning of the week if I have any evening/weekend client visits, and if I have any moms due - as a matter of courtesy. He had no say in any of my business stuff.

If I want to go to a training, the $$ comes out of my doula money, so I don't discuss it money-wise, but if it taking me out of town, I do discuss it with him. For example, when I found out that the DONA conference was going to be in Atlanta next year, I told him I was planning on going. If he had a strong objection, I would certainly reconsider, but I can't see why he would object.

His role in my business is to support me, and he is my last resort babysitter....and winds up taking 2-3 personal days a year because I am at a birth. He supports me 110%, and there is no way I could do this if he was not supporting me. So even though he doesn't have much of a role in the running of the business, his role in supporting me is very important.

And I absolutely LOVE what I do - so he gets a much happier wife.

His money goes towards bills, mine goes towards our dd's college tuition and "extras" like our vacations. It has allowed our budget to have a lot more wiggle room - we can go out to dinner without worrying if we blew our budget. He really likes that a lot!! And we've gone on 3 cruises with 2 more in the works since I started working as a doula - all paid for with doula $$.

[MemorableMoments]

I'm a single mother. I have standing arrangements for my DD to spend quality time with our loved ones for my meet the doula nights. And a support network of family who care for her when I'm at a birth. We also arrange for DD to have quality time with family on a case by case basis for my pre and post natal meetings. My family rocks! But it is complicated. I wish her dad was supportive and wanted to be involved in her care during these times but he doesn't want to be inconvenienced. Perhaps he will change his mind in the future.

[Brandy]

He is not directly involved, but I do ask his opinion on sticky situations at times or show him things here and there.

Hes really supportive and talks about how proud of me he is

If I wanna take a training or somthing that costs more than I have---we talk and plan.

[bcarrera]

My biz. I share some birth stories and situations but that is really it. If I want to go to a seminar, class, etc, I mention it to him so we can plan childcare & finances accordingly.

[DoulaKaren]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters I mean, do you discuss every detail of your business and clients w/him? Do you ask his opinion on whether to do trainings, do free/discounted births, what marketing to try/do, how much time to spend w/clients both on the phone/in person, which bus cards to purchase, is the excess $$ family $$, or is it yours?...does he get a "say" or are you fully president?....or do you just do your own thing and he's not @ all a part of it.....or are you somewhere in the middle?

I don't really discuss clients with him. He may know that a client is a first time mom delivering at XYZ hospital, with an EDD of whatever (and I have clients' names, edds, and birthplaces on our whiteboard so that's common knowledge). He's the second line of child care and my sometimes driver

Trainings I discuss with him because it's usually a chunk of change and those are hard to come by sometimes. It's usually a case of, Hey, I want to take this course in a few months. Let's go over our budget and see what we can scrimp on to make it work. It's also just a scheduling thing, between his work, family stuff.

He doesn't have any say in how much time I spend with my clients but I'll talk to him about marketing, business cards, etc -- that is an area of expertise with him, so I ask his opinion.

As far as where the money goes, I control the budget -- his paycheck goes right to our joint account and I pay the bills. My doula income goes into the general fund, although cash tips do tend to end up as dinner out

[empowering birth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dorothyh No to all of it.....he doesn't want to hear all the details, and I probably share more than he wants to hear! I give him a heads up at the beginning of the month of what the next few weeks look like birth-wise....I let him know when I have someone going into their 2 week window so he is aware I could be leaving for a birth...I let him know at the beginning of the week if I have any evening/weekend client visits, and if I have any moms due - as a matter of courtesy.

!!

[Tiffany Hensley-Cummings]

my husband and I are both the type of people who work through things by talking about them. I never feel like I NEED his opinion but I do talk about just about everything because it's just my process. He's the same way so he understands. We are just talky people. I know everything about what he does and his day and how he feels and he knows the same about me. I couldn't function in any other type of relationship.

[Prenatal&InfantMassage]

I would say we discuss 99% of my Doula work. He is a police officer and works odd, long and different hours from week to week so it's nice to be informed of each others schedules. I also ask him his opinions on training (b/c of the money) and marketing....he helps me out a lot on the marketing ... like currently he is building me a website

[bellymamadoula]

He's totally involved and a major source of referrals and support he also does the cooking, childcare and cleaning regularly and while I'm on births. He's been known to take a PH day from work so I can sleep after a touch birth.

I think my husband would actually be a very fine doula...he was for me! (I'd honestly get jealous though)

[DL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters I mean, do you discuss every detail of your business and clients w/him?

Maybe not every detail, but quite a lot. I do discuss my clients with him but I don't give names. I've been with my hubby since we were both 16, and we've always talked to each other about everything. (Yes, I hear his work stories as well. )

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters Do you ask his opinion on whether to do trainings,

Absolutely. Our money is our money, so we both consult one another before making big purchases (and I usually consider trainings to be big purchases).

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters ...do free/discounted births,

I do talk to him to hear his opinions and somtimes advice, but he doesn't tell me to do or not to do these. He's very supportive and usually says, "Do whatever you think is right. Whatever you do is ok by me; you know that." I love my hubby.

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters ...what marketing to try/do,

We talk about it, he gives his opinion, and then supports whatever I decide to do. He doesn't expect for me to come to him about these things, but it's just the natural thing for us to do....talk with one another a lot about what's going on with us.

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters how much time to spend w/clients both on the phone/in person,

I might vent to him, but he doesn't tell me what he thinks about the time issues. He knows that I'll do what I think that I need to do with each client.

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters which bus cards to purchase,

I asked for his input, and he gave it when I asked; I value his opinions. I took him to the printers with me, but the final decisions were up to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters is the excess $$ family $$, or is it yours?...does he get a "say" or are you fully president?....

The $$ is mine, but I usually just put it in with the family $$. I view it as "what's his is mine, and what's mine is his". Sure, he could have a say, but he wants me to do whatever I choose with it. For doula stuff, I'm definitely president.

Quote:

Originally Posted by heart2heartbirthmatters or do you just do your own thing and he's not @ all a part of it.....or are you somewhere in the middle?

I cannot imagine not having him being a part of this important aspect of my life. We are partners....a team. ...joined at the hip.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellymamadoula ....so I can sleep after a touch birth.

Totally OT, but what is a "touch birth" and what constitutes a birth that wouldn't be called a "touch birth"? Pardon my ignorance, but I haven't heard that term before. I don't want to throw the whole thread off topic, so if the answer is lengthy enough to be worthy of it's own thread, feel free to post it. TIA!