Child Care Arrangements during births?

MamaAshley · 10-02-2008, 06:58 PM

Care to share yours? I want to get back into doing doula work, but am stressed about child care. I have a great nanny who I use when I need to study, but she isn't available 24/7, DH's job is very high stress so him simply taking off short notice can't and won't happen (he manages a department for a web-hosting company who manages big names such as NBC). My mom lives with us, but works herself and doesn't seem thrilled about taking on the responsibility of watching 4 kids if I get called to a birth. So, I figure if I can get some ideas of how ya'll work it maybe it will spark some ideas for myself. My best friend will help I'm sure, just not sure how to arrange it. Ideas or suggestions?

Myztri · 10-02-2008, 07:41 PM

If it is early in the weekend, say Friday evening to Sunday midday, and he is home, my husband watches them. If it is the middle of the night, I take my husbands car and he takes the kids to my mom on his way to work in the am. If it is alreayd early in the am, say 4am on, I bring them over to my moms on the way. I have 4 friends who act as just in case backups, to come to my house until other arrangements can be made.

DoulaCindy · 10-02-2008, 07:46 PM

This was a huge stressor for me when I first started. Not sure I have any great advice though. There was one time that I asked a teenager to be on call for me if I got called away when my husband was at work. That was during the summer though, when she didn't have school. If your husband could handle things late at night and early in the morning, then you'd only need someone during the day, right? Maybe hook up with some other doulas and offer to do childcare for each other, or maybe hire someone with the understanding that you'll pay them a little something just for being on call for you. Maybe a stay-at-home mom? I know that a lot of times my husband was there for most of the childcare because my births were happening during the middle of the night. Course, you can't count on that happening! Many others were on the weekend when he was home, so I was very blessed!

Now I have 2 teenagers, a 15 yo daughter and a 13 yo daughter. They can almost run the house if needed. They babysit for my prenatals, births, and postpartums and I just pay them--not a set fee but whatever I feel I can afford. Sometimes the "doula money" is going towards a class they are taking so it is like a family effort. If it ends up that one daughter ends up doing most of the babysitting and it is for the majority of the day, I may pay $50. They seem pretty happy with our arrangement.

MamaAshley · 10-02-2008, 07:53 PM

Cindy, I love that your daughters help out so much! That's great! I guess I can look into another SAHM or doula for child care also. I will talk to my current nanny too and see what her availability is like. I would love to take on clients, but child care arrangements are a must first.

Cecily · 10-02-2008, 08:49 PM

There is a doula in my area that has a nanny that she LOVES, but the nanny needed more hours. So so pulled a few other doulas together and she is now the doula nanny lol.

Firefly · 10-02-2008, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cecily

There is a doula in my area that has a nanny that she LOVES, but the nanny needed more hours. So so pulled a few other doulas together and she is now the doula nanny lol.

That is a very cool idea!

I have several different arrangements. It really depends on the time of day but most of it (outside of when my hubby is home) involves friends who are home with kids and don't mind having mine for a day. I am currently only taking a birth each month so that helps. Sometimes I can repay the babysitting by watching their kids, other times I am in a position to pay for childcare and there are even a few friends who were clients of mine, so they didn't pay for my services and in return, I can leave my kids with them from time to time. It is tricky though. If I lived closer to my own mom - it wouldn't be an issue at all. Sigh.

1stimestar · 10-02-2008, 09:38 PM

Biggest factor for most people, do not depend on friends and family for your doula childcare needs. Get a child care provider who CAN without a doubt be on call for you 24/7 while you are on call. Pay her to be on call with you whether you use her or not. This should come out of your doula fees. If you don't have bullet proof childcare, you simply can not be a doula. Good luck.

MamaAshley · 10-02-2008, 10:06 PM

Georganne, you are so right. You can not be a doula without solid child care plans, my only reason for not taking on clients in the past year. I LOVE the idea of finding a "doula nanny" but sadly I only know a few doulas in this "area", meaning within an hour around me, so it would be very hard to fine one. I have a few things up my sleeve to try out...

1stimestar · 10-02-2008, 10:44 PM

I've had great luck with older teenagers and young college students who need to make a bit of extra money. Have you any homeschool associations? Homeschooled teenagers have a greater flexibility. They are really great before "discovering" boys and being allowed to date much. Hahahaha.

MamaAshley · 10-02-2008, 10:48 PM

Wow, I went on craigslist and e-mailed 6 people, ALL of which are VERY interested. 3 are home-schooled girls, 2 college girls, and one single young mom with one 5 month old baby! I figure if I have a list of people to call, including my best friend, my current nanny, my mom (who lives with us so is here at night), my hubby when not working, and all these other girls I should be okay. What do ya'll think?

1stimestar · 10-03-2008, 03:36 AM

Interview a few of the new finds to see which ones you like the most and also so you can tell them a bit about the importance of your need and more of what type of last minute situations you need coverage for. Then you should have a really nice list. It would also help if you kept in occasional touch with the ones you do choose. Call and chat once a month. Good luck.

dorothyh · 10-03-2008, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaCindy

Now I have 2 teenagers, a 15 yo daughter and a 13 yo daughter. They can almost run the house if needed. They babysit for my prenatals, births, and postpartums and I just pay them--not a set fee but whatever I feel I can afford. Sometimes the "doula money" is going towards a class they are taking so it is like a family effort. If it ends up that one daughter ends up doing most of the babysitting and it is for the majority of the day, I may pay $50. They seem pretty happy with our arrangement.

That is what I do too - I have two teens at home as well, and I do pay them. What we worked out is that they get a set fee per birth...just like I do. They are happy with the arrangement too!

MamaAshley · 10-03-2008, 06:41 PM

Thanks everyone! I have found two people that sound very interested, and a few others who don't seem to get it yet, lol. One lives right down the road from me, her daughter is home-schooled and is looking for jobs occasionally, and she is available anytime, and all day if needed. Another one does drop-in child care, and is willing to take all 4 any day of the week from 7am-9pm if needed, and will feed meals and all. They both seem great and we're meeting soon. so now, I guess I start looking for clients!

Hypno-Doula · 10-29-2008, 12:02 AM

I haven't seen how this will work in practice yet, since my first 2 births are sometime in the next few weeks, but I have a great arrangement worked out.

My husband is in school, so he's in class most of the day. If I need daytime kiddie care (I have a 2yo and a 5mo), I can call my mom, my sister (lives 4 houses away from me, but has 3 kids of her own, one special needs), or my MIL. If none of those can take the boys, I have an arrangement with a friend of mine who does in home daycare, where I can drop them off until my hubby gets out of school or my mom or someone can come get them. She'll charge me $5/hour for one kid, $8 for both. That's about what I pay teenagers, so I think its a pretty good deal!

For prenatal and postpartum visits, I have a teenager at home who helps out (paid some of the time, some of the time its part of being a big sister). My sis and I also have it worked out where she can take my boys during the day for prenatals (when she has her nurse there for her special needs baby) and I take her kids a couple of times a week so she can work, cleaning houses.

So far, I think it will be fine. Ideally, I won't have to use my backup daycare since it costs money and it eats into what I'm making as a doula, but its so nice to know that its there if I need it.

Maybe you can find a similar situation with an in home daycare that is flexible as a back up?

-Morgan

Petitefleurdoulas · 01-07-2009, 07:41 PM

Ah childcare- for me, the most stressful part of being a doula...and the main reason I limit myself to only attending births at certain times of the year. (when DH is on break- he's in education and has a few months off for summer, a large part of December and a decent break in March.) We live 6 hours away from any family and most of my friends have little ones of their own so while I can cobble something together/assemble a short list of people I can call, it's nothing I can do regularly. I'm still trying to figure something out in terms of finding someone I could keep on retainer at an affordable rate; but I'm afraid I won't be able to find someone I'd trust enough.

Doula-ing is definitely challenging with little ones...but I can't imagine not having it in my life.