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Old 01-17-2009, 07:05 PM   #1
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Doulas with Special Needs Children of their own?

I've been a doula for almost 13 years and I am also the mother to 3 boys. My youngest son is on the autistic spectrum with PDD-NOS. Are there any other doulas that have special needs children around here? How do you balance the needs of your clients with the needs of your family? My son has taught me many things that can be applied to doula work...the best ones are advocacy...patience...understanding...and respect. Having a special needs child has challanged me in many ways but I believe I've struck a balance between it all. How do you cope? What are your best strategies?
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"Nature, time and patience are three great physicians."
-- H.G. Bohn


"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise."

-- Robert Fritz


". . .there is a world of difference between compliance and commitment. The committed person brings an energy, passion, and excitement that cannot be generated if you are only compliant, even genuinely compliant. The committed person doesn't play by the 'rules of the game.' He is responsible for the game. If the rules of the game stand in the way of achieving the vision, he will find ways to change the rules. A group of people truly committed to a common vision is an awesome force. They can accomplish the seemingly impossible."

-- Peter M. Senge
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Old 01-19-2009, 07:00 PM   #2
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Loree, May I ask what PDD-NOS is in relation to autism? My nephew has Aspbergers.

It sounds like you have a very special son who can teach the world a lot that most people don't stop to realize.
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Old 01-19-2009, 07:23 PM   #3
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PDD-NOS is a developmental disorder on the autistic spectrum. Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified. It's kinda the catch all for those who fit somewhere on the autistic spectrum but don't quite "fit" in any given category. Cameron is high functioning, yet has socialization issues. He doesn't make the best of decisions as he has problems understanding cause and effect. He's in a specialized program for school as he can't keep up with the speed of an average classroom, but given time he understands the work. Numbers and music are his calling, I guess they use the same part of the brain? Reading, writing and language is very difficult for him. He's been involved with speech therapy, occupational thereapy, physicial therapy and behavioural therapy for years. It helps but it's draining on him but he's very determined. And yes, he's a very special boy and I'm glad I'm his mommy. It's been the honor of a lifetime to watch him grow..
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"Nature, time and patience are three great physicians."
-- H.G. Bohn


"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise."

-- Robert Fritz


". . .there is a world of difference between compliance and commitment. The committed person brings an energy, passion, and excitement that cannot be generated if you are only compliant, even genuinely compliant. The committed person doesn't play by the 'rules of the game.' He is responsible for the game. If the rules of the game stand in the way of achieving the vision, he will find ways to change the rules. A group of people truly committed to a common vision is an awesome force. They can accomplish the seemingly impossible."

-- Peter M. Senge
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Old 01-19-2009, 07:46 PM   #4
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Has your son been observed for Aspbergers? He sounds so much like my nephew. Very high funtioning, has socialization issues...doesn't make the best of decisions, etc... He married last year even though he is only 19 (was 18 at the time) He and his wife had a baby...he is not able to support this child but he is an absolutely wonderful father in every other way. I know that's hard to believe but this child is so loved and his father is the one who takes total care of him.

it's very hard to see them so frustrated.

My oldest son has a severe auditory processing disorder...my youngest the same to a lesser degree. Both have struggled in school and have also been in resource and other therapy. Both had severe ear problems and my oldest was deaf until 3. They still struggle and my youngest has other issues we are beginning to dwelve into. In fact he has an appt this week with a psychologist for testing. He's had the testing in the past in school...this is private. He is under and IEP. Hopefully we can find out what else is going on. He graduates high school this year.
My oldest is under a 504 in college and is a 4th year Engineering Technology Student with an emphasis in Aerospace! He is almost 23. He will get his grad degree in Aerpspace Engineering.

So believe me that with strong parental support these kids go far!
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Old 01-20-2009, 12:10 AM   #5
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Thanks for the hope...it's just some days it feels like the merry-go-round of therapy. I'm very impressed that your boys have gone and done so well. And yes Cameron was tested for Aspbergers but doesn't, again, quite fit in with the specifics.
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Medicine Hat, AB CANADA

"Nature, time and patience are three great physicians."
-- H.G. Bohn


"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise."

-- Robert Fritz


". . .there is a world of difference between compliance and commitment. The committed person brings an energy, passion, and excitement that cannot be generated if you are only compliant, even genuinely compliant. The committed person doesn't play by the 'rules of the game.' He is responsible for the game. If the rules of the game stand in the way of achieving the vision, he will find ways to change the rules. A group of people truly committed to a common vision is an awesome force. They can accomplish the seemingly impossible."

-- Peter M. Senge
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