Bringing Baby To "Interview"

MamaAshley · 01-07-2007, 11:42 AM

I have a question about bringing a baby to a consultation. I don't think it's professional to bring a baby to an interview, but then again it's a free consultation and the client is not paying, so it's on the doula's personal time. I had a friend back in NJ that always took her youngest to her interview, she used to say "hey, it's my day, i'm not being paid yet, so I'm bringing my baby with me." I duno how I feel about this, I can see both sides. Input??

AmandaB · 01-07-2007, 12:00 PM

I think that you need to project a professional image at all times and that if you are making claim that you will be available to your clients round the clock and you have a nursing child in tow, clients may be taken aback by that. They may think: "OH goodness, if she can't step away for an hour to meet with us, how is she going to be away for 12+hrs in labour?".

I have a 4yo and I would never take her to a consultations. She is very demanding of my time and I would never be able to focus fully on the prospective clients. An interview is your time to shine and if you look bogged down or distracted, it may affect the way clients look at you.

Yes, connection is important but so are first impressions. I would warn clients beforehand, if my child was going to be in tow and whether or not they were comfortable with that. I know that for some childcare is an issue, and it may be a wake up call that you may need to wait until your children are older to jump into or back into Doula work. OOOhhh, I am going to get tomatoes for this responses! I am not trying to be mean.

MamaAshley · 01-07-2007, 12:32 PM

I agree with you on this one. I also think it isn't very professional, but I do know a lot of people who do this. Just want to see what everyone else thinks, I can see both sides, however for me I try to keep it as "business" as possible with my clients.

AussieDoula · 01-07-2007, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amandoula1980

OOOhhh, I am going to get tomatoes for this responses! I am not trying to be mean.

Not at all, Amanda. I completely agree with you here.

The interview is your chance to project a certain image to your potential clients (and anyone else they may speak with about their interview experience). If you are comfortable bringing your DC in tow with you to meetings, then by all means do so - but don't be surprised when some families might be put off by that.

Sure, there will always be things about you that potential clients like or dislike but bringing children to an interview (in my opinion) is something you should run by them first. Knowing myself as a parent, I always have an eagle eye on my DC so - while I can multitask efficiently - I wouldn't be able to give these potential clients 100% of my attention and that sends a strong message (whether you view that message as good or bad is something you will personally have to consider when making the decision whether or not to bring your DC to interviews).

Even a nursing baby can usually wait the 1-2 hours an initial interview may take if you plan around feeding times. My personal parenting philosophy is very "AP" - my DC goes everywhere with me... except client interviews (although DC has occasionally been watched by DP in the back of the same room for some of the various free workshops I teach - sometimes DC doesn't want to be separated from me, so this is my compromise and DC knows to play quietly and colour without interrupting Momma).

I know leaving my DC for even that short period of time sometimes makes me feel a bit guilty and I miss my little baby but there is a lot of discussion with DC before I go - explaining that Momma is going to meet a lady who is having a baby and that Momma is going to be gone for X number of hours. Preparing DC in advance that I won't be home is what works for us. In the end, my child is more important to me than anyone else but I love my work as a Doula and Educator and enjoy what I do. The middle ground is allowing DC to accompany me when I can to my free workshops.

I feel that the difference between bringing DC to interviews and workshops is that when I am being interviewed, I am promising potential clients that I am there 100% to support them and focus on mama. I am sending mixed messages if I also bring my child. It's almost saying I can't dedicate 100% to them or that I can only support them on certain conditions. When I am leading a workshop, I am usually talking about styles of parenting, ways of life as a mother, and various other family-led topics (cloth diapering/EC'ing, babywearing, etc) so DC's presence isn't really an issue (DC doesn't come to workshops about comfort techniques or other Doula stuff - I think it is inappropriate).

Anyway... Making the call as to whether or not your child belongs at the potential client's interview all comes down to personal preference. Do what you feel is "right" in your heart. Good luck!

tchatters · 01-07-2007, 01:01 PM

I think it depends on the situation, due date of the client and age of your child. My son's almost 4 and can be a complete pain. There's no way I'd take him- but I did almost! I had a potential client call me and ask for an interview that afternoon because she was due in a week. I scrambled around and just barely found someone to watch him (I wasn't on call so I didn't have a plan!)

But if he were a few months old and my client wasn't due for several months- I may consider it. I'd certainly let the client know that I had reliable childcare starting in a few weeks/months or whatever is true.

raspberrydoula · 01-07-2007, 01:41 PM

My son has been with me a few times at meetings, but never interviews. One client and her husband really wanted to have a meeting at my house (for convience reasons), and my son was here, but his Dad looked after him. And another client suggested I bring him when we met at a coffee shop. I told her if we met in the evening my husband would be home, but she really wanted to meet him. So, I think it depends on the client, if they suggest it, and your childs personality.

DL · 01-07-2007, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amandoula1980

Yes, connection is important but so are first impressions. I would warn clients beforehand, if my child was going to be in tow and whether or not they were comfortable with that. I know that for some childcare is an issue, and it may be a wake up call that you may need to wait until your children are older to jump into or back into Doula work. OOOhhh, I am going to get tomatoes for this responses! I am not trying to be mean.

No tomatoes from me; I also agree with this.

Jilian · 01-08-2007, 11:10 AM

I think it's unprofessional in most circumstances. The only time I was OK with bringing my son was when I doula'd for free for a woman I was already friends with. She has a daughter my son's age and asked me to bring my son to the interview (at her home) so the two could play together. It worked out nicely, but I never plan to bring DS unless someone specifically asks me to. I do think it's kind of unprofessional and it would make me wonder whether or not the doula has proper childcare lined up.

doula Michele · 01-08-2007, 12:30 PM

I agree.. I would never do it, its unprofessional. (in my humble opinion anyway.) free birth or not, they deserve just as much of your time and attention as a paying client.

We may feel our children are sweet and adorable and whatever else...but believe me, not everyone feels that way about our kids.

syncreo · 01-08-2007, 12:48 PM

Hi,
I don't bring my children to interviews but I do bring my dd to a Mother's Circle I run even though she is almost 2 and the babies are newborns. I believe in family friendly workplaces and one of the reasons I love my work is that there isn't a clear seperation between work and home life - my girls are welcome at our Doula centre and they often come with me. I don't bring them to client meetings because it would distract me and quite frankly I enjoy the time away as I spend my days and most evenings at home with them.
I have no problem with doulas who do bring their babies to interviews and/or client meetings and I think as a society it would be wonderful if we opened up to the idea more of integreating children and work. Mothering had a great article a while back on it http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr...by-in-tow.html

tlcdoula · 01-08-2007, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doula Michele

I agree.. I would never do it, its unprofessional. (in my humble opinion anyway.) free birth or not, they deserve just as much of your time and attention as a paying client.

We may feel our children are sweet and adorable and whatever else...but believe me, not everyone feels that way about our kids.

I totally agree. I think first impressions are important and I also think it is important for the mother to know that you are her main focus. After all, if you cannot find childcare for the interview how can she be certain you will have it for the birth. I think the only time it would be appropriate to have ones own children around would be if you were doula-ing for family or a really close friend. I know when I was my sister's doula she would come to my house for the prenatals and bring her son, but that is way different. She is my sister and so I didn't have to "appear" professional. Anyone else - you darn right I wouldn't bring my own children.