Feeling down and discouraged

aetrusty · 05-30-2007, 02:26 PM

My life is extremely busy and I get very little time to do anything for myself. I have three small children and a husband who is never home. (He works two jobs).

I started working on the CBE course with ALACE a long time ago and am still working on module 2. I haven't even been able to do any reading for the past several weeks.

I just wonder if I should just let this go and see how I feel in a few months. But, everytime I think about letting it go, I just feel so sad. I love doing the postpartum work I've been doing (overnights). I don't attend births because my life just set up to be on call.

I just see everything that other people have accomplished and I just get so down.

How do you all with 3 children and basically no support do it?? My house doesn't even get clean as it is and I've got so much work to do with the house. I guess I'm overwhelmed and just sad.

UtahDoula · 05-30-2007, 02:33 PM

My advice is this: Don't quit. Don't even take a break. Chances are you'll never pick it up again. Even if all you can do is 5 minutes a day of reading. Even if the only time you get to do that is in the bathroom, or by keeping a book in your car for when you're pumping gas, waiting for school to get out, or some other sneaky way of getting it in.
Have a long heart-to-heart with your husband. Even working 2 jobs, see if you can carve out an hour or two each week for you to go to the library to read. He can handle it all for a short bit, just like you do day in and day out.
Find a study-buddy who you can keep in touch with through the process. That was what really kept me motivated and moving forward.
You deserve to have this chance to do something just for you. And if that means that the house gets vaccuumed less often, or that you train the kids to help with things, or that dh takes on a bit more, that's ok.

earthgirl · 05-30-2007, 02:35 PM

I feel you

Personally my girls are young (3&5) I cannot get a lot accomplished because I have poor time management skills (I'm working on that). But I have goals: Postpartum work in addition to birth work, childbirth education, and possibly midwifery. I am 33, and I sometimes wonder why? But I keep telling myself that I am on my own path, and I do what I can with what I got. I may become a granny midwife after my DH retires, and I am fine with that

Prioritize, and don't forget to love yourself. Know that you are exactly where you need to be. Goodluck!

Tiffany Hensley-Cummings · 05-30-2007, 02:44 PM

If it's important to you and it helps you to feel like a whole person I wouldn't give it up. Just do what you can and don't feel guilty about what you cannot. If you stop doing what makes you happy you might start to feel lost in your kids. Good luck and I hope you feel better about things soon.

tlcdoula · 05-30-2007, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aetrusty

My life is extremely busy and I get very little time to do anything for myself. I have three small children and a husband who is never home. (He works two jobs).

I started working on the CBE course with ALACE a long time ago and am still working on module 2. I haven't even been able to do any reading for the past several weeks.

I just wonder if I should just let this go and see how I feel in a few months. But, everytime I think about letting it go, I just feel so sad. I love doing the postpartum work I've been doing (overnights). I don't attend births because my life just set up to be on call.

I just see everything that other people have accomplished and I just get so down.

How do you all with 3 children and basically no support do it?? My house doesn't even get clean as it is and I've got so much work to do with the house. I guess I'm overwhelmed and just sad.

Why not schedule some "me" time where you get to work on it. Start out with something simple like 15 minutes a day - heck you can lock yourself in the bathroom for that amount of time and claim you are taking a poo

. At least this way you will see something coming out of your efforts even if it is slow. When I was in massage school I used to keep my flashcards of muscles in the bathroom and each time I went in there to go I would stay a little longer and "study."

SarahMcKay · 05-30-2007, 03:07 PM

Wow, Anna. I'm so hearing you! I, too, have 3 kiddos, and feel like I have very little time to myself. I agree that you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with DH. If you can manage to get a little time to do what fulfills you, then you will be a much happier wife and mom. I know that being wives and mothers is priority to most of us, but I think we forget about taking care of us. So what if the house is a little messy? Let it go and do what's important to fill your spirit. Move yourself up the list of priorities! And know that you can always come to

for a big

!

syncreo · 05-30-2007, 03:27 PM

A hug for you from all your doula sisters. It is tough to make a go it in this field, particularly with young children but you ARE doing it. Keep going and trust...it will happen.

Kacy · 05-30-2007, 03:49 PM

Slowly but surely, Anna.

raspberrydoula · 05-30-2007, 05:23 PM

Life is a balancing act

, and as moms and women I think we tend to put ourselves last on the priority list (I'm just as guilty as anyone else). Keep at it girl, we're all on your side!

Mile High Doula · 05-30-2007, 05:31 PM

I feel kind of the same way. I started my ICEA CBE certification a few years ago and now it's up on June 30th and guess what...I am no where near getting certified. I already extended it once and I can't anymore so I guess I just wasted a ton of money.

I feel your pain and I only have 1 child. I can't imagine trying to do this with more then 1 but lots of my friends do.

Sorry to hear you are so down. We are here for you.

Little Blessings · 05-30-2007, 08:18 PM

I know how you feel...I work full time at a very demanding job for 10 hrsa day so by the time that I get home and get supper ready, do homework, get the kids (age 7 and 10) through the night routines it is usually after 8 or 9 pm before I get to think about me and I am too tired to do anything but go to bed.... I say hang in there..if this is really what makes you happy..you have to follow that...life is too short not to follow your dreams and goals...this is my 2nd time trying to get my certification...but I know that this is my passion and I might not have all the time that I would love to dedicate towards it right now..but I am not giving up...and I agree with Michelle that you should probably schedule a little me time...

aetrusty · 05-30-2007, 09:22 PM

Thanks to all of you for the encouragement!! It means so much to me and I truly admire all of you on here.

And I'm definitely going to be hiding in the bathroom a lot