Birth Stories

Tashina Marker · 03-22-2006, 10:47 PM

Hi Ladies,
Now it's only your imagination,I don't post here often

Sense you all were talking about birth stories,I have a question.Nothing unusual I know.

If a mom has a disappointing birth such as wanting a med free birth ending in 6 different meds,or a mom who wanted a natural birth ending in c/s.All of which are a very depressing issue for them to reflect upon,how do you write your birth story? Do you go around mentioning those issues? I found in my last birth that mom had 7 meds,never used postion changing,& almost ended up in a c/s (Thank the Lord above that there was NO c/s )I was going to write a birth story & well.... found it impossible to avoid all the issues she regreted.I didn't want it to slap her in the face,so I didn't write it for a gift afterall.

I would like to write birth stories for my clients,but I am unsure of how to do it without putting in some of the goals she failed at.

So how do you all handle this?

MothertheMother · 03-23-2006, 08:39 AM

I am sure there are more experiences opinions to come but I would write it anyway. I just read an interesting article in the Journal of Perinatal Education(CBE reading). I want to quote part that my help you write with a better perspective..."If throughout your childbirth classes, you have endouraged women to trust what their bodies are telling them, now you can introduce the idea that nature gives messages-a baby that does not engage, failure of labor to progress, changes in fetal heart rate pattern-that indicate that the baby may not move effortlessly and safely through the birth canal. Failure to progress in labor can now be interpreted as 'my body is protecting the baby' rather than 'my body has failed to give birth'."

There are times when pain medications are appropriate. Also in The Thinking Women's Guide Henci Goer does mention that if you are going to use pain medications the later in labor you use them the less likely you are to have side effects etc. Maybe focus on how she did before the medication, talk about the couple together, talk about their emotions when the baby was born etc. This is probably one of those things that if you sit down to write it and just start something with come but no amount of pre-planning on what to write is going to help. Good luck.

MothertheMother · 03-23-2006, 08:40 AM

Judith A Lothian (author) Vol 1,No2, 1992....forgot to finish quoting ooops!

DL · 03-23-2006, 09:35 AM

No amount of planning will help (at least, that's how it works for me). I also usually wait about a week after the birth before I'm ready to hash it all out, but the timing thing could be very different for you.

I just sit down, look at my labor notes, and just start writing/typing. Soon it just starts to flow. I don't hide difficult moments, but there are always ways to word things so that it doesn't have so much "sting". I have had some very difficult births that, quite frankly, were worrisome to me to think about having to write about. Many times, those difficult births come out best as a welcoming type of letter to the baby, with more vague or generalized labor/birth details, my thoughts, parents reactions, etc. The facts are in there, but just maybe not every single fact, every dilation check, etc.; it's intended to be more of a gentler read (something that you could read to a child).

tlcdoula · 03-23-2006, 04:34 PM

When I have been to births that haven't gone even remotely close to what the birth plan says I will basically write the story chronologically based upon what happened. I keep my biases out of it, and I will also try to focus on those things that were positive. For example, I might focus on how attentive dad was or if I notice a dad gave mom a loving glance I might put that in there. If a particular nurse was very nice I will put that in there. I do not cover up the bad, but make it more matter of fact in the story.

I also always write the stories to the baby. Many of my clients have really liked this idea and said they would save them for their child until he/she gets older.

Tashina Marker · 03-23-2006, 11:26 PM

ladies!

jesscardona · 08-04-2006, 04:54 PM

How many of you do like a birth story to your clients?
I'm just wondering if this is something I should add to my services or not...

MindOverLaborDoulas · 08-04-2006, 04:57 PM

Sarah does a beautiful one for our clients. Really it's for the babies to have when they get older, I'll copy and paste one for ya later!

tlcdoula · 08-04-2006, 05:01 PM

I have done them in the past, and will go back to doing them for my private clients. I find it hard for me to keep notes on the births that I do through the hospital and do not do them for the hospital based clients.

jesscardona · 08-04-2006, 05:01 PM

Thanks, Ash! I'd love to see it!

doula Michele · 08-04-2006, 05:31 PM

I don't do them. Mostly because I am not very good at writing a beautiful story.
Michele

AmandaB · 08-04-2006, 05:46 PM

i wrote them and unfortunately i hit a back log. I have 5 to do, I will have time this month to get them all done.

Kalamazoo Doula · 08-04-2006, 07:36 PM

I have done them in the past as a gift, but I've fallen behind too! I think I'm 5 or 6 behind! LOL I don't advertise that I do this, just in case I'm not able to do it, or whatever. I'm a big scrapbooker, so I print out the story on regular paper and then put it between two sheets of card stock. Then I make a cover and back for the story, so it looks like a 'book'. I then bind it with ribbon. It is very cute, if I do say so myself! LOL
I write the story as if I'm telling the baby the story, I think the parents really like it. I'll post one too, when I get a chance!

RosyDoula · 08-04-2006, 07:44 PM

I write them out for the babies when they grow up too. All my Moms have loved it since they don't seem to remember some parts.

Kalamazoo Doula · 08-04-2006, 07:47 PM

Okay, here is one for a vag delivery. Any names will be changed. I will also add one for a c/birth with no labor (different post)

The Story of the Birth of Anabel Kathryn
Told by Erin West CD(DONA)

It was a beautiful, warm early summer night on Friday June 17th. Your had called me around 9:00 telling me that she had been experiencing consistent contractions for about 90 minutes, and that they have been about five minutes apart pretty much the whole time. She wanted to let me know that she had called the doctor, to see what he would suggest. Your mom was wondering if it was normal to be experiencing contractions this strong and so close together this quickly! She had been in labor for only a hour and a half! I had told her that it sounded like this was the real thing, and to call me back when her doctor had given his suggestion. I received a call back at about 20 minutes later from your dad saying that they were on there way to the hospital! Your mom was starting to get very uncomfortable with the contractions, but she was very excited that she would be seeing you very soon. Your mom and dad were so elated, and they just could not wait to see if you were a boy or girl!

I had met your parents in triage at Bronson Hospital around 10:45pm. I had just been able to say hello, and to tell he that she defiantly looked like she was in labor, when the nurse came to tell them that they were being moved into their labor and delivery room! It was official, you were making your appearance! Your mom was told that when she was checked when they first got there that she was dilated to 3centimeters, 100% effaced, and your were at about 0 station! This was a change from earlier that day when mom and dad were at the doctors office for a non-stress test and check up! She was then only 2 centimeters and was not having any contractions then. The nurse wanted to have you on the monitor to see how you were doing! So your dad and I had tried to make mom as comfortable as possible during this time. It was very uncomfortable to lay on her back during the contractions, so we suggested that she stand up, and that felt a lot better for her. When she was told that she could get off the monitor, she decided to try the bath tub. I went in the bathroom and started to fill the tub up with warm water. Your mom and dad worked together beautifully together. I could tell that they really loved each other, and that they could not wait to see you. Mom stayed in the tub for about a half hour, and then decided that she was getting very warm, so we helped her out and dried her off. She decided to try the birth ball, which seemed to be pretty comfortable for her. Your dad had gotten a call from your grandparents telling him that they were there! They were so happy and thrilled that you were soon to be coming into the world. Your dad went out to say hello, and to tell them the progress that your mom had been making. I stayed with mom and helped her through her contractions during the time that they were taking a blood draw. Mom just focused and breathed through the contractions the best she could. I had found that your parents had a great rhythm and ritual that they would do during contractions- your dad would count down from 15 slowly during the contractions, so then you mom knew that when the numbers would go down, the contraction would soon be over. It seemed to work great, and they kept this up during every contraction.

Dr. R came in around midnight to check your mom’s cervix for progress. He had said the your mom was 6 centimeters! That was great progress in such a short time, we were all very excited! Your mom was really having to work very hard through the contractions at this point. The doctor asked if she would like to have pain medication, but she had decided to keep going with out it at that point. Dr. R had stated that he would check in with her in a little bit later. I had then told her that now it should go pretty fast, and that she was doing an awesome job. With knowing that it should not be too much longer, and with the support from your dad and I, your mom got the courage to go on. I had mentioned that she may like to go in the warm shower at this point. Mom stayed and labored in the shower for about 30 minutes, and had gotten hot again, so she decided to get out and try sitting on the birth ball again. She sat and rested on the birth ball for a short time until she voiced that she really just wanted to lay down and rest, but said that it really hurt when she laid down. I had suggested that she try laying on her side, and she agreed to try. She did seem to be able to rest in the position with the help from some precisely placed pillows. Shannon, your mom’s nurse had come in and asked if it would be alright to check your mom to see how close she was to being complete. Shannon checked your mom’s cervix and had told her that there was a little rim left on one side, and your water bag was bulging out! Dr. R then came in and broke the bag, the water was clear, which was evidence that you were doing great through labor. Your mom’s doctor had said that the bag of waters must have been holding the cervix open a little, because your mom was more of a 9 than a complete 10. Dr. R stated that it would be okay to do some grunty pushes if this felt better for you mom. He left and said that he would be back soon. Around 2:00 am your mom said that she really wanted to start pushing, so Shannon checked and said that there was no more cervix and to go ahead and push. With the help form Shannon, your dad and me, your mom started to push. Your mom really was a great pusher, so Shannon had another nurse call Dr. R to come back because you would be here soon!

Your mom pushed very hard. She looked very powerful during this very hard part of labor. She pushed for only about 15 minutes and then we could see your little head! You had so much hair, we could see that before your head! When your head started to come out even more, your mom could feel the burning sensation, and was told to do little pushes to help ease your head out. When you head was born, your mom was so excited! The doctor made sure that your shoulders were coming out, and then your dad helped guide you out! At 2:24 am, just 24 minutes of pushing your dad placed you on your mom’s chest. Dad looked and declared that you were a GIRL!!! Your mom was so thrilled and kissed your forehead and said ‘hello, Anabel’! The nurses helped get you cleaned up a little and warmed up the whole time you and your mom stared at each other. You finally gave out a cute little cry to say hello to the world. You stayed on your mom’s chest for a long time to bond and to get pictures taken with her and dad. Shannon had asked if it would be okay to weigh you and measure you, and mom said that would be fine. You weighed a whopping 8 pounds, 11 ounces! You were 21 inches long and very beautiful with big chubby checks. Your mom had to get a few stitches in her bottom, but after that you both got cleaned up and ready to meet your grandparents. I had left the room to let you and your parents bond and rejoice in your presence. I then went to inform your grandparents that it would not be much longer for them to meet their first grand child. They were so elated!

I had left you and your new family around 3:45 am. You were getting a lot of pictures taken, and being doted on by your family. When I had left I had felt uplifted. I loved the honor of being able to help to empower your mom with the birth of there beloved little girl. I could tell that this was one of the best experiences that your parents have had! The room was filled with love and warmth when I had left. I knew that I had experienced and witnessed a miracle. So I wish you luck with your new life, I know that you will have the love and guidance from great parents!

Peace and love,
Erin West CD(DONA)