Ideas to signal beginning of contractions?

fearlessbirth · 04-10-2006, 03:52 PM

So my newest client wants a different way to signal the beginning of a contraction besides the cleansing breath...any suggestions?

She was thinking along the lines of something chime-y or ring-y but not too obnoxious. I thought it was cute because she said the cleansing breath seemed so 'look at me! pay attention to me!'. Lol I thought, 'well what do you think a bell will do?' Lol

But if any of you have ideas, I'd sure appreciate it.

Jackie7183 · 04-10-2006, 04:49 PM

maybe just a simple "ok" that way it is descrete but still lets you know what is going on.

DL · 04-10-2006, 07:02 PM

I've had clients naturally (wasn't planned) start saying "ok" before ctx's and totally ditch the cleansing breaths. She could also do something with one of her hands, i.e. make a loose fist or something then quickly release it as she relaxes. Just as long as you know what the signal is, you can watch for it. Hey...let us know what she chooses to do! I'll be curious to know!

MothertheMother · 04-10-2006, 07:27 PM

Is this her first baby? If so you might just tell her to do whatever comes naturally to her at the time. In other words, if she says now that the cleansing breath seems wierd to her but ends up liking it during labor she may have a hard time doing it then...I know you know this but to make my point we all know that labor changes everything. This seems like one of those things that will just happen when the time comes. And lets face it...when the contractions are strong enough for her to really need your help you are going to know when she is having them...lol....

DL · 04-10-2006, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MothertheMother

Is this her first baby? If so you might just tell her to do whatever comes naturally to her at the time. In other words, if she says now that the cleansing breath seems wierd to her but ends up liking it during labor she may have a hard time doing it then...I know you know this but to make my point we all know that labor changes everything. This seems like one of those things that will just happen when the time comes. And lets face it...when the contractions are strong enough for her to really need your help you are going to know when she is having them...lol....

Good points, Christy!

Are you sure that you're a new doula?!

fearlessbirth · 04-11-2006, 10:24 AM

Oh, yes..I'LL know when they're happening but her mother and fiance will also be there and she's mostly worried about her mom being there. Lol She wants her support but said she's a nervous nelly and one of my main jobs will be to explain to her mom what's going on and that she's ok. She's afraid her mom is going to drive her nuts and not realize when she's having ctx and piss her off. Lol I can't wait to meet this mom..

delilahdr · 04-11-2006, 11:58 AM

When I am teaching sibling classes for homebirth or birth center clients who assume the other kids will be around while mom is in labor, I teach the three year olds, that if they need something from their mommy and she raises one finger at them, in the time-honored "one minute" gesture, it means that her uterus is squeezing to help the baby out, and it will stop in a minute, and they need to wait a minute until it finished, before she will answer them. I demonstrate (role play a contraction) and let them see about how long a minute is, and they "get it".

Maybe if the three and four year olds can "get it", the grandma can be taught to do the same. LOL I have had mothers/MIL's be fabulous and attuned to the laboring moms... and I have also seen a couple who were um... not.

Gentlebirthmama · 04-11-2006, 11:59 AM

Well, my first thought when I read your post was why is she worrying about letting others know she's having a ctx?

It sounds like this woman is probably concerned that everyone will be talking around her and basically having a party and she wants to make sure that if she can't say it in words that somehow she can let everyone know to be quiet and help her.

A woman in labor shouldn't be worrying about something like that, but obviously this is on her mind. So, I personally would talk with her about it and explain that this isn't something she need to be putting her energy into. Remind her that her husband and yourself will be by her side and will be tuned in to what is happening with her. You'll know when she's having a ctx and can let her mother know if necessary.

None of the women I have worked with ever do a 'cleansing' breath...they just breathe!

Or sometimes they say "it's starting" or sigh. It's always obvious when a ctx is building if you're tuned into the mother.

She also seems to be worrying about her mother being with her and distracting her...this is something that should be worked out ahead of time and perhaps the solution is that her mother shouldn't be there. But if that isn't easy to do and her mom is at the labor maybe there is a way for your client to communicate to you during the labor that her mother is bothering her and she wants her to leave. You could then gently explain to the mother that your client and husband need some time alone...then maybe have your client go in the bathroom and get in the tub, or gently usher the mother outside to the waiting room for a while. You could always let the nurse know that your client doesn't want her mother in there at that time and let the nurse be the "bad guy" and tell her mother that she needs to leave.

Takes the pressure off of you.
Laboring moms need comfort, not stress and it sounds like the issue with your client isn't how to let everyone know she's having ctx, but whether she's comfortable with the people that will be there and their ability to tune in to her.

Just some thoughts.
Can't wait to hear how it all goes.

Amy

fearlessbirth · 04-11-2006, 12:30 PM

Hey...I think the issue IS with the mom. When we had out initial consultation the FIRST thing on her list was to explain her mom to me and how she is and would that be a problem. I said of course not and that I could be assertive and tell her to chill out or leave or we could chat beforehand so she's more educated on the process, the possible noises, sights, discomfort, moaning, etc. She said she didn't want me to have her leave but she didn't want her 'nervous energy' there so if I could help with that. I think we'll just discuss it further in our prenatals, as you suggested, and hopefully get mom to chill out before then. I haven't met her mom yet, but from the sound of it I just picture her being a chatty busybody and I think my client is worried that her mom won't be paying attention to any body language and she'll end up throwing something at her. Lol But, of course, that's where I come in and gently explain we respect and honor mom while she's contracting and we don't distract her. How I'd talk to a 4 year old. The 'one minute' thing is a great idea too. I had also mentioned if her mom gets too antsy it would be a great time that mom or dad is craving something to eat, that the birth ball had to be inflated or something else came up to get her out of the room without hurting her feelings. I hope she gets over that. I love my mom but wouldn't want her near me while I was birthing and wouldn't care if it hurt her feelings. Lol It's MY birth!

Hopefully we'll come to some other conclusion about this. This is a really head-strong woman...knows what she wants and is super-educated on childbirth. I'd hate to see her mom be the reason it wasn't great for her.

Gentlebirthmama · 04-11-2006, 12:41 PM

I think the best thing is to make sure her mom is busy during the birth...not busy distracting her

but busy helping. Have her get cool washrags, juice, food and maybe encourage her as necessary to help hold a leg or her daughter's hand, etc. Make sure she's included and she will most likely do great.

The thing I find with mothers being at the births is that it's so hard for them to see their daughter in pain and struggling through labor...I think it really shakes them to the core and they don't know how to help her. So, making sure that the mother gets together with you all during a prenatal visit and everyone can have a chance to talk about their fears, concerns, etc. regarding the birth. You can then have the opportunity to educate your client's mother about what to expect, what you do, what she can do, and what your client's needs are.

If during the birth there is chatter going on in the room, I find that simply turning and putting my finger to my lips encourages people to quiet down and focus on the laboring mom. After the ctx, I smile and tell them how great the mom is doing, how strong she is, etc. It can really help all those in the room start to focus in on the laboring mom.

I think once your client can talk about some of this and you can meet her mom, things will get smoothed out and hopefully your client will find some peace.

1stimestar · 04-11-2006, 12:49 PM

Give grandma the job of watching for contractions! Let her know that she could be the one responsible for "when Suzie starts a contraction, you can be the one to make sure there are no distractions for her while she works through them. If someone is talking during a contraction, let them know they can wait till she is done working." That way you let the mom know that while a contraction is going on, everyone needs to quit chatting, and gives her some responsibility.

fearlessbirth · 04-11-2006, 01:07 PM

Those are all EXCELLENT ideas. Our consult was so funny because I wanted to say 'so is it really your MOM who needs a doula?' Lol

I'm sure it will be fine. And you're right, she's just a mom who loves her daughter and wants the best for her. Being responsible for something will probably make her feel more at ease.

moncton doula · 04-11-2006, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fearlessbirth

Our consult was so funny because I wanted to say 'so is it really your MOM who needs a doula?' Lol

Ha! I work with a lady who says she's hiring me when her daughter starts having children to be her doula(my co-worker's)-not her daughter's!!!!!!