Shadowing Another Doula

[scarborogal]

I am taking my training in May and I would like, afterward to shadow another Doula just to see it all in action. Does this sort of thing happen? I feel stupid asking as I hate the idea of rejection. How common is this request?

Thanks,
K.

just remember there are no silly questions. if you are thinking/ wondering then someone else probably is too.
i would have loved loved loved having a doula to shadow. i just really didn't have anyone to ask, nor did i know how to ask. ok... that is silly but i know better now. the worst they could say is no. but somehow i doubt they would, unless the mom and dad didnt' want a shadow. i had a birth with a great midwife and that was a perfect opportunity for my partner to observe. she participated some, but mostly she wanted to stand back and observe. she came to many of my prenatals with this mom and the mom and dad felt they got to know her as well. it was great to have someone to compare and process the birth with.
just ask. really. immitation is the most sincere form of flattery. and i'll bet it won't be long before another doula in training is asking to shadow you.
peace
michele e bailey-flood CD(DONA)

[DL]

I, too, would have LOVED to have watched another doula in action when I was new, but there wasn't other doulas in my area. If you can do it, I would recommend it; just remember.....your styles will probably differ some, and that's OK! Don't try to be her carbon-copy; just be yourself!

I've had another doula shadow me before. Just this past Tuesday, I accompanied a doula who was doing her 3rd birth for certification (her own client). She wanted me to observe her in action and to give pointers, etc. Of course, I made sure that she was the primary doula for certain, but as the labor progressed.....well, two doulas ended up being very helpful. We both LOVED having each other to bounce ideas off of, another heart and pair of hands, etc. We had different strengths and weaknesses, so I think that that fact really benefited the mom. It was a good experience for us both (I learned, too!), and for mom and dad!

[tlcdoula]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scarborogal I am taking my training in May and I would like, afterward to shadow another Doula just to see it all in action. Does this sort of thing happen? I feel stupid asking as I hate the idea of rejection. How common is this request? Thanks, K.

I know we had this discussion once before on these boards, and no one agreed with me but I will state it again anyhow I do not accept anyone as a shadow because I have been burned one too many times and I know many other doulas who feel this way as well. What I mean is that they take someone under their wing and then they tell their client (as they have to get permission) and then when the birthing time comes the shadow for one reason or another decides that it is an inconvenient time. Plus there is a lot of responsibility in having someone shadow because if the shadowing doula does something wrong then that will be a representation of the main doula and can impact negatively on her business.

As for me, I tried to help out a few of the ladies that I trained by setting up births for them and setting up births for them to go with me to. Each time I would call to say the mother was in labor they always had an excuse on why it was inconvenient (i.e. going away on a romantic weekend, no one to watch their kids, etc). I became frustrating and then I had to explain to the mother why she had one doula and not two.

Another reason I will not accept a shadow is because of something my trainer told our group - she said shadowing isn't a good idea because every doula needs to find her own way of doing things. If she shadows she will just take on what her mentor does and will not come up with her own style.

One final thought on this is that for some people birth is a very personal event and they do not want someone sitting in the corner watching them or do not want a whole room full of people. You also need to consider how this would impact the feelings of the current birth partner because you wouldn't want him to feel shoved out, and finally you need to consider what the rules on the number of labor support people are allowed via the hospital rules.

Like I said, last time this topic came up I had people saying how rude I was, how they thought I was a terrible person for refusing to help a newbie, and it truly isn't that. I love helping people and am a very kind and compationate person, and from my past experiences I will only take on another doula if she has proven to me to be truly worthy. Again I know that sounds rude, but I will not have a repeat of past experiences. I know many experienced doulas have had experiences like mine and struggle with mentoring.

[Need2read]

There is a group here in Seattle called PALS (pals-doulas.org) that is actually a birth Doula certifying org. and they have special programs so that new doulas can pair with experienced doulas and go to births for either experience or just to shadow. I think it is a wonderful program and you also get to jump right into the birth community and meet other fantastic birth lovers like yourself.

I happen to think this is a fantastic way to learn, and is the traditional way of learning. You might even try to write up a little something about why you want to be a doula and a little bit about yourself as sort of a cover letter.

That way you can find other Doulas in your area and e-mail them, or call them and ask to get together. I think it would be good to get together with them first and then if you two seem to get along then you could talk about shadowing and maybe give her your cover letter type of thing to give her an idea of just how serious you are.

It's just something you have to be willing to get out there and look for. Find Doulas! Have a Doula day! Put yourself out there and you are sure to meet someone great!

[scarborogal]

Michelle, I don't disagree with you. I would be very disappointed if I had been let down my inexperienced and non-committed Doula's-to-be. And I also agree that every Doula needs to find their own style and that ultimately the birth experience belongs to the mother and her partner. They are the the most important in all cases.

But having said that, I am just starting into this and it is a big change. The only births I've been to are my own and I had a slightly different perspective for those. And perhaps I may feel differently after the training but I would hate to go into a birth with no experience whatsoever. And I would feel more terrible if I disappointed the mother and her partner by my lack of experience.
Plus I would also like to network with other Doula's in my area as I feel it would be benefical to chat, commiserate and bounce ideas off others in the same field. With the same experiences that I'm having.

Those my thoughts.
Thanks for your ideas.
K.

[MothertheMother]

I, too, am a newbie (currently on-call with my first client). I thought I wanted to shadow someone as well and have not yet had that opportunity come up. Now that I am facing my first birth I can see Michelles point. I do agree that seeing things in action can be a huge learning experience but this is what empowers me... I have been in email contact with a very experienced doula (I like to think of her as my doula doula) and what she told me was to just remember that your love, compassion, understanding and trust in the mother to be able to birth her baby will go much farther than anything you learn from a book or at a training. Of course we all want to learn the techniques and the comfort measures and pros and cons of interventions etc but ultimately the emotional support we offer is the most important thing we can give these families. Trust yourself as you trust in the birth process and you will be a wonderful doula! With our without shadowing somebody!

I also feel that collecting information from other doulas and creating my own plan and wading through this process on my own has been very empowering for me. Thats my 2 cents.

[Luv2bemommy]

I would LOVE to be able to shadow another doula in action to get a better feel for it.. This is one reason why after my workshop I will be doing some volenteering. I have talked to the woman over a local maternity center and she said I will have the opportunity to shadow before I jump in and start.. I really need to be able to stand back and watch a few times, since I have never expierenced a birth other then my own 3.. I am scared I will be too overwhelmed and freeze up or just be overly emotional..

[DL]

Like I said before, I didn't have a shadow. I was totally on my own. Now...the doula that I just went in to observe/help...it was her 3rd birth. Her first two births were on her own, and before she had ever seen another doula in action. She had already started developing her own style, for certain! This scenario worked VERY WELL! Michelle, it was her client, too....not mine. So that took care of the me wondering if she was going to be dependable or not. I was the extra...not her!

Of course, I think we all understand that before taking in an extra doula, the proper thing to do is to have permission from the parents first. These particular parents stated that they'd love to have me there. Also....believe me!!! There was room for two doulas and the dad at this particular birth!!! We were all plenty busy, and mom and dad were thrilled with the support. Just thought I would add all of that, as I can see Michelle's point...but there are various ways to observe another doula (i.e. what I just did this past Tuesday).

[tlcdoula]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doula_Lori Like I said before, I didn't have a shadow. I was totally on my own. Now...the doula that I just went in to observe/help...it was her 3rd birth. Her first two births were on her own, and before she had ever seen another doula in action. She had already started developing her own style, for certain! This scenario worked VERY WELL! Michelle, it was her client, too....not mine. So that took care of the me wondering if she was going to be dependable or not. I was the extra...not her! Of course, I think we all understand that before taking in an extra doula, the proper thing to do is to have permission from the parents first. These particular parents stated that they'd love to have me there. Also....believe me!!! There was room for two doulas and the dad at this particular birth!!! We were all plenty busy, and mom and dad were thrilled with the support. Just thought I would add all of that, as I can see Michelle's point...but there are various ways to observe another doula (i.e. what I just did this past Tuesday).

I have to say that I like this approach VERY much!!!! At least this way it makes the newer doula responsible for her actions instead of the mentor. I am curious though - what would have happened if the newer doula wouldn't have shown up? Did you talk about that? Would you have then done the birth for her?

[DL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlcdoula I have to say that I like this approach VERY much!!!! At least this way it makes the newer doula responsible for her actions instead of the mentor. I am curious though - what would have happened if the newer doula wouldn't have shown up? Did you talk about that? Would you have then done the birth for her?

Good question!...... No, I was totally an extra. I was already on-call for another client, so the deal was that I would show up IF I felt that I could make it. If my client called me, then I would have to leave for my client's birth. Everyone knew way ahead of time that I could not and would not make any guarantees to attend.

When mom went into labor, her contact was solely with her doula, not me. The primary doula called me to inform me of her client's labor and welcomed me to still come if I wanted, and could. Also....I just volunteered to do it for experience sake, so there was no contracting or money changing hands whether or not I showed. (I did this because I had never attended a birth at this hospital, I had never witnessed another doula in action myself before, and so I looked at it as an educational opportunity for me as well.) Simply put...The primary doula was her doula, whether I showed up or not. I also had phone contact with the doula and made sure to time my showing up at the hospital for after the clients and doula were already there. That was kind of nice, actually. Once I got the call, I got ready, of course....but it wasn't the hurried rush out the door that I'm used to when I know that I am IT! I showered, ate some breakfast, puttered around the house a little, and was able to take my time somewhat. This whole set up really worked nicely!

[tlcdoula]

Well I like that plan Lori. I think that if I ever have someone want to have me mentor them this might be the way I will do it because then they have to find their own client. Also if they don't show up I am not responsible, and I don't feel obligated to make excuses for the missing doula. Thanks for the idea

[Stacie]

I had a similar situation where a woman could not find a doula and there were two of us that were mostly available except for one week before her due date and one week after her due date, so neither of us would commit. After she continued her search, she decided to hire both of us to cover all her bases. We were both available as she went over her due date, and it was fun to be with another doula.

DONA recertification has an option where an experienced doula can get credits or hours or something for bringing a shadow with her. I can't find it on their site right now, and I believe I have it in my paperwork somewhere, but I know it is a new program they are trying to offer.

I took a shadow with me to a birth and it was great. This woman was trying to decide if she should enter the doula-world. She had taken a training, but before she stepped out on her own she wanted to see if this was right for her. I happened to have the perfect family (mom used to do body-piercing and she was the one who mentioned the way to learn it was to see it -- that was my clue they might be open to a shadow). I asked, mom was cool with it, we did the prenatals together, and we co-managed this birth. It was a great opportunity. She ultimately decided not to pursue the doula option and is instead studying in New Mexico to be a midwife .

I think it's a great thing. Like with many aspects of the doula world, sometimes we do get burned (that can even happen when a parent doesn't call you and you miss their birth).

[DL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlcdoula Well I like that plan Lori. I think that if I ever have someone want to have me mentor them this might be the way I will do it because then they have to find their own client. Also if they don't show up I am not responsible, and I don't feel obligated to make excuses for the missing doula. Thanks for the idea

Oh, you're welcome. It worked out so well that I think that I would do it this way again if someone asked me to shadow or mentor. Michelle, it was so fun to be a welcomed part of the birth, but yet be able to be a little more relaxed since someone else had the bulk of the responsibility.

[waterbaby0205]

For those of you who did apprenticeships, were you active the whole time or did you just watch; especially at your first birth or two?
I will possibly be apprenticing under another doula at a birth coming up soon and I was just curious.