Why did you decide to be a Doula?

[scarborogal]

To all the new and aspiring Doula's, what made you decide to become a Doula?

K.

[scarborogal]

I won't ask without answering.

For my first child I had a Midwife in a hospital. But actually it turned into me being turned over a doctor because of complications and my son being 9lbs 9oz and being stuck. He ended up being delivered through vacuum extraction and had a 2 apgar. But after I turned over a doctors care, my midwife basically abandoned me. She disappeared and when it came time to push, I had to get try and find her. (there is more to this story but that would take a long time) So needless to say it was a disappointing labour and birth experience and it put me right off Midwifery. But with my second child, I had an amazing experience. My mom was there to help support and delivery was smooth and easy. I would have had Thomas again, 10minutes later if it was necessary. I wanted to have another baby right away after that. But sanity prevailed and a couple of years later we had our last child. It wasn't as good as my DH had no support and was run ragged and passed out at one point. (hot and muggy in the August delivery room) Plus the nurses were all distracted and not very attentive. I had decided at that point that I wanted to become a labour and delivery nurse to be the kind of nurse women in labour needed. Then I realized the nursing profession is thankless and there is life and death involved. Not sure I was up for that. I did some more soul searching and I really still wanted to be there for other mothers having babies. Thought about being a childbirth educator (still am) and then investigated being a doula. It seemed so right. And I"m really excited about the training and I love reading the books. I hope I've found my niche!

Well sorry for the length but it was all that brought me to where I am now.

K.

[DL]

*WARNING* This could be a sad read for some of you, so please don't read if you think it might bother you. I don't normally share this with pregnant mommas, so be forewarned.
---------------------------------

My story is long, too, so I copied/pasted it from when I posted it on the CAPPAinfo Yahoo Group several months ago, with a few revisions (saves me some typing! )

Early on Dec. 27, 1995 (my sister & bil's wedding anniversary), I
received a phone call from my younger
sister. I heard, "My baby died." She was 32 weeks gestation with
baby #2 (her first girl). I drove 12 hours to get to her (I just
HAD to be with her). My heart ached so for her that I thought I'd
just die; I couldn't bear that she was in so much emotional pain.
As a mommy myself, it about killed me to think of how she must be
hurting. I wanted to take the pain away from my little sister...but
I couldn't.

She was immediately admitted to start ripening her cervix and then
induction. For two days I stayed with her & her dh helping with
labor support (she did eventually receive an epidural, which in this
case was merciful I think). Anyway, to make a very long story
somewhat shorter, it was the most difficult, heart-wrenching experience
of my life to date. It was also very beautiful. I held my beautiful,
perfect looking niece who was born asleep. I rocked her and kissed her
"goodbye" until I see her again in Heaven.

Years later, I had discovered that I had 'doula-ed' for my sister
and bil, although I had never heard of a doula at that time. My
niece's stillbirth was the first birth I had ever experienced (other
than me birthing my own), and my niece left me with an amazing
gift.. a God-given passion for childbirth. I longed to see a baby born
alive with pure joy and no heart-ache...moving and crying and nursing.
Although I wish she was here with us today, she is what started my
Doula journey, and I will forever be grateful. I feel so blessed to
be a Labor Doula! For me, the miracle of birth and LIFE, and the joy of a
newborn are nothing short of wonderful to behold!

Having faced the trauma of stillbirth as a support person, I know
how difficult it is to experience and to later process. As difficult
as I know it would be to do all over again, I'd do it again in a
heartbeat. It is truly a labor of love with all those involved, and
our jobs as Doulas are so very important, especially when the going
gets tough. Maybe this experience can be a blessing to some other
momma someday who is birthing a sleeping babe as I 'doula' her.
If I ever support another stillbirth, I would be very sad.....but oh
so willing! It would be hard to keep me away!

Of course....I do not tell my clients this version of why I became a doula. When asked (and as written on my website), I simply say that I was with my sister and bil for the birth of my beautiful niece. I say that I found that labor support came naturally for me and that it was that experience that birthed a passion in me for labor support and childbirth. (That's all true, but watered down quite a bit!)

I didn't have doulas for my kids' births (had never heard of one), and KNOW that things could've gone better; but unlike many doulas, that's not what started my doula journey. I like to think of my God-given passion for this doula journey as Jesica's gift to her Aunt Lori. When there are tears in my eyes as I witness the miracle of birth each and every time.....it is the greatest honor and blessing. What an awesome gift!!! I LOVE being a doula! So.....that's my story!

[Jackie7183]

My answer is short.

Fascination with pregnancy and birth.

[Luv2bemommy]

Wow Lori Brought tears to my eyes!

I actually have two reasons why I want to become a midwife.. One is my love for pregnancy and childbirth.. My other is I know what its like to be in the hospital and basically labor alone.. It's not fun.. With my first birth I felt so alone the whole time.. Yes I had my dh and mother there but dh was so scared about the whole thing he was in and out, and my mother didnt do much for me other then observe.. That birth was so painful and hard I had begged for an epidural at the end but thank God there wasnt any time for it and I ended up having him without one..When I got pregnant with #2 I had a serious talk with dh about how he was in the delivery room, he was better for that delivery, still scared, but he stayed with me for the most part and held my hand through it.. For our third child he was SO wonderful!! That has been my best birth expierence so far! It really does make a world of difference having someone there to lean on then being alone, even though there was still pain I was able to tolerate it alot better and didnt even think to ask for any pain meds with our last baby.. To me that is proof of what having a doula can do. (even though dh is far from a doula, but he was an awesome support person)

Wow Lori, that brought tears to my eyes as well. Thank you so much for sharing that.

I have always had a, what some call strange, facination with birth and pg women. I love all the NB babies, the BFing, etc. I didn't know how much I loved it until I was able to be with my SIL while she was laboring. I loved being that support for her. She told me afterwards how wonderful it was to have me there.

I have always been facinated with the idea of being a L&D nurse or something like that, but that still wasn't fitting. Doula feels like it fits me, IYKWIM? Not so much having to administer the medical stuff, even though the blood such doesn't bother me, being the loving kind support. I have also looked into all sorts of things like Child Birth Educator, Lactations Consultant, all of that interests me tremendously.

I was born at home. I guess you could say, it's been a facination of mine since birth. My mother started having contractons while she was folding laundry. They kept folding and carrying it up and down the stairs. In the mean time she called her midwife, it took her 45 minutes to get there. When she got there she had my Mom go up the stairs and lay down on the bed to be checked. She was complete and started to push (My mother's labor was 1 hour long!) I was a whopping 8lbs 15oz! I have all these pictures of me not necessarily being born but right afterwards when my siblings came in. Everyone was smiling and ooohing and ahhhing over me. Then pictures of my Mother and I in a special bath of herbs and stuff. It just all seemed so wonderful and peaceful. I love having that story.

[tlcdoula]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scarborogal To all the new and aspiring Doula's, what made you decide to become a Doula? K.

I don't really think it was a "decision" as much as I think it is a "calling." I was called to do this work, destined

[DL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlcdoula I don't really think it was a "decision" as much as I think it is a "calling." I was called to do this work, destined

Hear, hear, Michelle!!!!

[teachinmamaof4]

Another here who feels it's a calling. It's something that's been in my heart for several years.

Pregnancy, labor and birth fascinate me. I'd love to be able to help someone on their journey.

[Need2read]

All of my life I have wanted to save the world, and I could never quite figure out how to do that without being some sort of superhero. I can remember being around the age of 11/12 and telling my mom things like "pregnant women are the most beautiful people I have ever seen. They just glow." I used to read books my mom had about pregnancy and family planning in secret. When I was 13 I met a friend who intreoduced me to these things called zines (basically a homemade magazine) She let me borrow one written by a midwife, and I instantly knew that I ha found my way to contribute to the world.

My first step is becoming a Doula, as I believe that I will gain experience to later help me as a midwife and I also have a lot to learn both as a Doula and before I become a midwife.

[scarborogal]

Your stories or experiences rather make me realize that perhaps it is more of a call for me. I realize that perhaps I did find becoming a doula, that perhaps it found me.

Lori, your story is so inspiring and I feel for your sister.

Thank you again for your posts. It makes me feel I'm doing the right thing.

K.

[Lyndsey]

I love birth and everything that goes with it. And after having a doula with my last birth, it just strengthened the passion even more, she was such a help to me.

[Tashina Marker]

For me it was witnessing 3 homebirths,that went great! The mom (my mom ) had a horrible experience with me in the hos with me as her first child.After hearing the story of a 33 hr labor with problamatic DR's & then after I was born her Uterus filled with blood do to the staff not making sure she was contracting ,so they manualy cleaned her out.She said that it was more painful than all the 33 hrs of labor.

With my mom's 2nd birth this time at home,it was 1hr that's it! & it went WELL!

So after 2 more behind it & finding out at age 17 what a doula was when my mom was pregnant with my last sister I persuded it & here I am.

Now I am waiting for the 4th & last homebirth of my sibling due in Mid Oct.I need to witness another homebirth,so I am happy in 2 ways!

[Matrescence]

When my kids were born I felt drawn to birth, after Aidan (my middle child) I was actually starting on the path to become a midwife when I learned about doulas... it didn't take long for me to figure out I was definitely a doula and not so much a midwife I love what we do!

[fearlessbirth]

Well.....a few years ago while I was trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up, midwifery snuck in there. Lol I was like 'this won't make me rich or famous so why do I feel such a strong desire to follow this path' (I hadn't thought about the HAPPINESS factor at that point. lol) Well, after several attempts and a couple of years of trying to figure out how I was going to follow this calling/dream, I had come across something about doulas on the midwiferytoday website. I thought doulas were an AWESOME thing to have so I researched them...did some soul searching to see if it would be a good use of my time in the meantime (until something with midwifery school panned out or I hit the lottery and could suddenly afford it) and found that I do LOVE it! And it is a GREAT in-between for me...I can learn and network, etc. while waiting to start. AND I'm going to enroll in a great school by the end of the month!

Also, I want to educate women on their choices and make sure the decisions they make for their bodies and their babies are honored and respected during birth.