Clients getting aggressive in labor.

Luv2bemommy · 02-11-2006, 11:54 PM

I don't think this happens to often but..

What do you do if the mom in labor starts cursing, hitting and not wanting to listen? This is one of my fears while the mom is in labor she won't want me there and will be ugly and cuss..

Has this happened to anyone? If so how did you go about it? It's not that common it is? (You mostly see this on tv, don't know how common it is in RL)

tlcdoula · 02-12-2006, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luv2bemommy

I don't think this happens to often but..

What do you do if the mom in labor starts cursing, hitting and not wanting to listen? This is one of my fears while the mom is in labor she won't want me there and will be ugly and cuss..

Has this happened to anyone? If so how did you go about it? It's not that common it is? (You mostly see this on tv, don't know how common it is in RL)

I tell moms right up front that they can curse and yell all they want, but biting, kicking, hitting, or any type of physical abuse and I am gone. I have never had a mother swear "at" me, but did have some that swore in general and I just let it ride and didn't think twice about it.

The only person who ever bit me was my sister LOL

~Tranquility~Doula · 02-12-2006, 11:05 AM

I've never seen a woman get physically violent. I have heard a lot of cursing, but it was never directed at me or anyone else for that matter. Just throwing out general curse words here and there doesn't bother me at all.
If someone hit me, then I'd be pretty pissed and that is unacceptable. I've never actually spoken to my clients about this beforehand. Maybe this is something I should throw in at prenatals, although I'm not really worried about it.

Luv2bemommy · 02-12-2006, 12:20 PM

I'm not worried about it as far as them cussing in general.. I was more talking about when they swear at the doula or hit.. I am sure I have said a few choice words in my 3 births, at some times its hard not too.. LOL

Kim Trower · 02-12-2006, 01:48 PM

I think this only occurs when moms are not prepared, very fearful, and have no support. So in other words, it would never happen with someone who hired a doula and prepared for their birth and was educated. I have heard it happening with young/teen mom's, or single mom's. But I have heard it from nurses not other doula/s. As for cursing...yea...lot's of people curse when they are frustrated, mad or just to vent. But as the others have said...never at me...just like...Oh Shit that hurt...and so on.

DL · 02-12-2006, 02:07 PM

I totally agree with everyone else who has already posted.

I've not had any problems with moms getting abusive or physically violent. Cussing?...sure, sometimes...but that doesn't bother me, either. If I were to ever be hit, bitten, etc. then I would be "pissed", too! I would give mom a STERN warning not do that ever again or I would be out of there (no second warnings!). I really can't imagine me ever having to do that, though. Like Kim said, this probably wouldn't be an issue for doulas in general, since our moms are better educated, supported, and prepared.

tlcdoula · 02-12-2006, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Tranquility~Doula

I've never seen a woman get physically violent. I have heard a lot of cursing, but it was never directed at me or anyone else for that matter. Just throwing out general curse words here and there doesn't bother me at all.
If someone hit me, then I'd be pretty pissed and that is unacceptable. I've never actually spoken to my clients about this beforehand. Maybe this is something I should throw in at prenatals, although I'm not really worried about it.

Well, I threw it in at prenatals after my sister bit my hand while she was getting an epidural placed. The funny thing was she didn't even realize she was doing it. She had her hands intertwined with mine and was resting her face on our hands and the next thing I knew she was digging her nails into my hand and then her teeth. It wasn't hard, but it was enough to leave a mark and for me to nudge her off LOL

Luv2bemommy · 02-12-2006, 07:35 PM

See this worries me cause of doing volenteer work at a local hospital.. I'm scared I might run into one of those women who are scared and not prepared..

Kim Trower · 02-13-2006, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luv2bemommy

See this worries me cause of doing volenteer work at a local hospital.. I'm scared I might run into one of those women who are scared and not prepared..

totally different situation and you probably will, not often, but it would be wise to be prepared for the situation. If someone was physically abusive towards me and a) didn't realize it such as biting, cutting me with nails because they were squeezing my hand too hard, etc. I would simply let them know what they were doing and offer a suggestion to prevent it from happening again...biting on a washcloth or something.
or b) if they were out of control screaming at me, kicking, fighting me and it was volunteer basis I would remove myself from the situation.

heathenmamaof5 · 02-13-2006, 02:31 PM

One thing that I would suggest is to think of why they're reacting to labor that way. I'm thinking of childhood sexual abuse. Mom's that were abused tend to panic in labor, especially in the pushing stage.

I've never had a mom become violent. I have heard plenty of cussing, including my own! After my first birth when we were calling family and freinds I kept saying "I said the F word in fron of my mom!" LOL

When you're doing hospital volunteer doula stuff I wonder if the hospital has some sort of policy? Just remember that YOU don't have to stay where you're not comfortable. You can remove yourself from the situation. I don't know how hospitals run their programs, seems like their mom's should have to attend classes to be provided with a doula?

Just my thoughts....