childcare arrangements

wendoula · 01-27-2006, 11:25 AM

I am struggling on how to find someone to take my kids when I get called out and my DH will not able to around. My mom and dad live in Arkansas and my mil is in realty and is really spacey and unreliable. I have a friend that says she will be available - but she also is unreliable unless I give her a date and time that I need her.

There are few doula that will help out if I am in a pinch - but I want to find someone that will be available at a drop of hat at any time and take my kids without me having to worry or stress about it. I have a hard time with just leaving my kids with anyone unless I really know them. My dh is willing to pick up kids after 5 pm and then if needed take them back at 7 am and he is availble from friday night until Monday morning.

Should I run an ad in the paper? How did you find or come to terms with your childcare arrangments. Do you have someone that will take the kids at the drop of hat and is available and if so what do you pay them to do this for you?

I will be "On Call" starting Feb 10 for a client. I hoe that all made sense and you all can give me some suggestions.

tlcdoula · 01-27-2006, 11:40 AM

Well, I am very fortunate now because my kiddos are all getting bigger and with me having an almost 18 yr old, 16 yr old and 14 yr old I can leave at the drop of a hat if their dad is working and they will watch their sisters. My dh only works third shift, so even on school days it has worked out okay because my older kids are home to watch my youngest, Faith until their dad gets home and then they go to school. I know this doesn't help you - sorry.

When they were younger it was much harder. I had my mom coming, but like you mentioned mine was unreliable. I could call her one day and she would come quickly. Another day she would come over when she felt like it and other days she would say "oops can't do it" and then I was scrambling at the last minute. Unfortunately for my dh there were a few times he ended up taking personal days as the last minute to help me out in a pinch.

A good friend of mine, when she was doing doula work found a homeschooling family that had a teenager that could help out. That might be an option.

01-27-2006, 12:28 PM

Have you thought about finding an at-home mom that does childcare? I had a friend in Wisconsin that did at-home childcare, but she only kept one client. She did however, act as a "substitute provider" for other kids and was payed on a per diem. If you could find someone like this, your husband could take the kids if it were evening or middle of the night, and then in the day you would have someone. You would have to pay, but it would be pretty minimal. The nice thing about this is you don't have to worry about it cutting into someone's plans (doctors appts, etc.) because an at-home DCP shouldn't have a bunch of plans in the day anyway!

tlcdoula · 01-27-2006, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YogaMama

Have you thought about finding an at-home mom that does childcare? I had a friend in Wisconsin that did at-home childcare, but she only kept one client. She did however, act as a "substitute provider" for other kids and was payed on a per diem. If you could find someone like this, your husband could take the kids if it were evening or middle of the night, and then in the day you would have someone. You would have to pay, but it would be pretty minimal. The nice thing about this is you don't have to worry about it cutting into someone's plans (doctors appts, etc.) because an at-home DCP shouldn't have a bunch of plans in the day anyway!

That might be a good idea as long as she isn't doing it as a true "job" where she wants to fill her daycare as much as she can to maximize her income. I say that because I am just in the process of letting go of my daycare and I would never have taken anyone as drop in care and to be honest resented when people asked. I felt as though they wanted me to hold a spot for their child and lose money just to accommodate them. I ran my home daycare at full capacity, so if she would go to home childcare it would have to be someone who isn't doing it as a full time job situation (sorry don't really know what to call it).

I can also tell you that I know not everyone feels like I did and my comments might sound harsh, but I do know many, many providers who hate the thought of drop in care because it can really eat into their income.

Now if she could find someone like you mentioned that would be different. Someone who is doing it as a part time job or only with one or two kids might work. It is also important though to know the laws in your state because in some states a provider cannot watch any children unless they are licensed.

wendoula · 01-27-2006, 01:25 PM

There is a woman that does all three shifts of daycare - I need to drive by her house and get a phone number and talk to her and set up an interview with her. That would be good for when I have to go south - but if I am going North I have no clue?

Luv2bemommy · 01-27-2006, 06:47 PM

I will have the same problem once I start doing births.. DH will be able to keep them through the day but at night dh works 2nd.. I hope and pray my mother will step in and help with childcare then..

Need2read · 01-27-2006, 08:52 PM

I think your best bet might be a SAHM or Homeschooling mom. That way you could probably gain a friend and your child would always be welcome. I work for a daycare and although I am not going to dis them, there are many out there that are not quality...and that would be a job situation whereas a SAHM would be payed for her time caring for your child, but she is not looking to necessarily have as many kids to make money.

I also think you should be prepared to ask 100000000000000000000 of questions. After going to a CPR class geared toward daycare providers it was frightening to know that places were being run by people who didn't know CPR or didn't have a first aid kit visible in every room, etc. These are things as a parent you should know, and be aware of. If your child fell down infront of the daycare provider while you were there and couldn't do perfect CPR wouldn't you be scared out of your mind? To attend a class is very different from actually retaining knowledge and being able to DO.

I hope I didn't scare you... =/ Goodluck

tlcdoula · 01-28-2006, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Need2read

I think your best bet might be a SAHM or Homeschooling mom. That way you could probably gain a friend and your child would always be welcome. I work for a daycare and although I am not going to dis them, there are many out there that are not quality...and that would be a job situation whereas a SAHM would be payed for her time caring for your child, but she is not looking to necessarily have as many kids to make money.

I also think you should be prepared to ask 100000000000000000000 of questions. After going to a CPR class geared toward daycare providers it was frightening to know that places were being run by people who didn't know CPR or didn't have a first aid kit visible in every room, etc. These are things as a parent you should know, and be aware of. If your child fell down infront of the daycare provider while you were there and couldn't do perfect CPR wouldn't you be scared out of your mind? To attend a class is very different from actually retaining knowledge and being able to DO.

I hope I didn't scare you... =/ Goodluck

I totally agree. What is even scarier is that in my state they only added CPR certification to the daycare regulations last year!!! In fact, I believe they gave everyone until September of last year to comply, but before that we never had to be certified, take a class, or anything before we got our daycare license. Now that is scary!!! So I would check what the requirements are in the state too.

If she decided to check into a licensed home daycare she can probably get her hands on a copy of the rules and regulations so that she can compare the daycare she is going to with what the regulations say. Unfortunately in most states they are so hard pressed for licensures that these poor people struggle to get out to home daycares to actually check up on them. I was checked up on only once a year, but I know people who were being checked out only once every two years. Plus the licensure tends to get very much set in her ways so she typically comes the same month each year - meaning if the provider knows this she can have everything up to par when the licensure is expected. This doesn't happen always, but I know many providers who it happened that way. Lord knows mine came every year around the same time. In fact I just called her and spoke with her yesterday to tell her not to bother coming in March because I was closing my doors. She asked me how I knew she was coming then. I explained it all to her and she didn't realize I caught onto her pattern (she came one month earlier each year). Duh, it didn't take much to figure that one out!!!

Sorry for rambling - I am sitting in my office waiting for my husband to e-mail me a file I need LOL

addison0316 · 01-28-2006, 03:56 PM

I second the suggestion for trying to find a SAHM that wouldn't mind earning a few extra dollars occasionally. Like the PP stated, some at home daycare providers don't like to do part time or drop-in daycare because it sin't relaible income for them. There are daycare centers that will accept drop-ins, but I would imagine that could get expensive. I am facing the same problem with finding childcare for DD when I getfurther into my doula training. Good luck!

AussieDoula · 06-13-2006, 01:02 AM

Have you considered just pursuing Postpartum Doula work until you can find an arrangement?
As an attached mama, I don't use sitters so with Hubby's schedule it is hard (and unfair) to commit to a woman and tell her I will support her during labour while knowing full well that there is a chance I might not be able to. My way around this was to start offering Postpartum Care instead.
The postpartum period is extremely important, and having a caring support system can make all the difference. Also, this way I can arrange my hours around my Hubby's work schedule so that he will always be available to take care of our toddler while I am helping other mamas. It may sound harsh, but I could never sacrifice the well-being of my own family to help someone else's. I'm no good to anyone if I am stressed and burnt out!

I went into some withdrawals (lol) when I could no longer attend births, so I found a way around that too! I volunteered my time to my local hospitals. I spoke with the people I needed to and left them a calander with the times I was available. Then, if a mama came in and wanted a Doula, the hospital calls me and I come out to support her.

This has proven to be a great arrangement, and again I can dictate my own hours.
Something that I also needed to work out was the factor of not having met a lot of these women prior to their births, so I made sure I attend the hospital-led prenatal/breastfeeding/infant care classes so that when the day comes, the mama is seeing a familiar face. Another thing I try to do is hold a picnic every few months as a way for the local pregnant mamas to meet with me and see what I'm about. I've had requests for paid Doula work, but I just don't think it's right for me to accept, knowing I may not be able to fulfill my promise. Instead, I offer to come out and make sure they are settled during the postpartum period.
Anyways, just something other Doulas in the same situation might consider. It CAN be done!

susan1 · 06-13-2006, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AussieDoula

I went into some withdrawals (lol) when I could no longer attend births, so I found a way around that too! I volunteered my time to my local hospitals. I spoke with the people I needed to and left them a calander with the times I was available. Then, if a mama came in and wanted a Doula, the hospital calls me and I come out to support her.

This has proven to be a great arrangement, and again I can dictate my own hours.
Something that I also needed to work out was the factor of not having met a lot of these women prior to their births, so I made sure I attend the hospital-led prenatal/breastfeeding/infant care classes so that when the day comes, the mama is seeing a familiar face. Another thing I try to do is hold a picnic every few months as a way for the local pregnant mamas to meet with me and see what I'm about. I've had requests for paid Doula work, but I just don't think it's right for me to accept, knowing I may not be able to fulfill my promise. Instead, I offer to come out and make sure they are settled during the postpartum period.
Anyways, just something other Doulas in the same situation might consider. It CAN be done!

I thought about doing this...going to the hospital and asking if I could volunteer. Who did you talk to? Did the hospital already have a doula program? Haa the hospital called you?

Sorry so many questions however I am very interested.

Matrescence · 06-13-2006, 11:16 AM

Thankfully I've been able to keep my husband home (or call him to come home) or have my mom watch the kids on her days off so far. My mother lives next door to us and my grandfather lives behind us so we have help, I struggle with having them watch the kids sometimes though because my 3 can get pretty wild

I also know a bunch of homeschoolers that I can call at a moments notice and we have a neighbor who is usually home. Most of the time though it's my husband. I was limiting births to 6 per year for that reason.

newbirth · 06-13-2006, 01:25 PM

This has been my struggle as well, and the big reason it has taken me so long to become active. But now my sister is living close, and will take the kids for short times. I'm also making some friends in a local moms group. I've also gotten a name of an older homeschooled teen so they will be around during the day. The teen is from a large family, so is used to a whole bunch of kids.

I'm also considering splitting up the kids and leaving two here and three there. Might make it easier for someone if they know they only have two or three extras instead of five. LOL

AussieDoula · 06-13-2006, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susan1

I thought about doing this...going to the hospital and asking if I could volunteer. Who did you talk to? Did the hospital already have a doula program? Haa the hospital called you?
Sorry so many questions however I am very interested.

I was extremely lucky in this situation. I am the only Doula in our community, so it was understood right away that this probably wouldn't eventuate into a Doula Program (I am the first Doula either of my two local hospitals has ever seen).
You can approach the DON (Director of Nursing)/Head OB Nurse to talk about the possibility of you being on-call to attend births.
For me, it was all about networking. I already knew the Childbirth educators and Lactation Consultants, and had a wonderful relationship with them (having been to their classes, and sat in on a few private consultations with "patients"). They were able to vouch for my work ethic and dedication.
I assured everyone along the way that I was there as part of a team with the best interests of the mamas in mind, and it has helped in the long run.
Good luck with your pursuits! Even if you are shot down the first time, be sure to ask again a couple months later. Sometimes this can prove your dedication and interest, and it shows that you are serious about your role as a Doula (and not going to "drop out" after only a few months).

wendoula · 06-14-2006, 01:11 PM

Thanks everyone for posting and giving suggestions and ideas -

I found a SAHM in my local Area - she lives in the next town over about 12 miles and is available for me whenever I need her - she was referred to me by a good friend and doula client. I just give her the days or weeks I am on call and its in the same town my DH works so he can drop them off in the morning if I get called out in the AM and pick them up after work if I am not back by the time he gets off. It has worked out really well so far.

I also have an old high school friend that does housework on the side and she is fexilble with her hours and can work around her schedule if needed.