Attending to my 4th client today

loveslabor · 08-04-2006, 12:32 PM

She called at 6 is morning to let me know that her water had broken at 4am and she was at the hospital having very sporatic contractions. Her last labor was only 2 hours from water breaking to baby, so they wanted her to come in right away.

Anyway, please send good vibes. I have a strange feeling with this one. I don't know why.

I'm waiting for her call to come to the hospital once she thinks she needs some additional support.

MindOverLaborDoulas · 08-04-2006, 01:00 PM

Man.. how do you guys stand it when you aren't at the hosp?! I get too nervous!!

Sending easy labor vibes to you both!

loveslabor · 08-04-2006, 03:27 PM

So I got a call from my client this morning at 6am. Her water had broken at 4am and she was at the hospital, with not much happening. She called at 10am to let me know that they were starting some pitocin.

I just got a call saying that she was very sorry, but she wouldn't be needing me. She had the baby 50 minutes after they started the pitocin. Quick and extreme she said.

WOW. Wish mine had been quick. I sure got the extremely painful part. =)

I had a funny feeling that I wouldn't end up at this birth. So much so that I'm still sitting here in my bathrobe.

MindOverLaborDoulas · 08-04-2006, 04:55 PM

That sucks for you.. but great for her!!!

Mama!!! You must have really prepared her! So,

for you too!!!

tlcdoula · 08-04-2006, 05:00 PM

That is really a bummer that you missed the birth. Was the mother okay that you missed it?

loveslabor · 08-04-2006, 06:33 PM

She seemed fine with it. More apologetic than anything. This was her 3rd child and she didn't even want to do prenatals. She was looking more for someone to take over as labor couch for her husband because they were unable to secure childcare for them. I was going to be with mom and he was going to be with the kids.

I told her I would come in at 6am this morning when she first called, but she declined. When I talked to her again at 10am, I offered to come down and she declined again saying that nothing was really happening and she was doing just fine.

I told her to let me know as soon as she began to feel that she needed me. Pitocin started at 10:15, baby was born within an hour, she called after the fact.

I feel that she is not upset with the way things went. Her last labor was only 2 hours from water breaking to baby being born, so we both knew all along that there would be a possiblity of me never making it because the hospital is about 30 minutes from my house and I would need to get my daughter to the babysitter as well. We even talked about what would happen if she didn't make it to the hospital in time.

I told her to feel free to call me with any concerns, day or night, even though I didn't make it to the birth.

She sounded pleased and in total rapture when I talked to her about 30 minutes after the baby was born.

RosyDoula · 08-04-2006, 07:42 PM

Even if you weren't there physically, I am sure you helped her a great deal by just being willing to help and listen.

DL · 08-04-2006, 09:52 PM

Oh....So sorry that you missed the birth!

That must be disappointing for you, but I'm so glad that all went well for momma!

I'm like Ashley; I couldn't stand not being at the hospital. I ALWAYS go to the hospital when my client does. I tell them during their prenatals that this is how I am most comfortable supporting them. They're told to call me whenever they need me if at home, but if they decide to head for the hospital to let me know right away...as I expect to leave for the hospital around when they do. I've never had a parent question it, and quite honestly, after me explaining why...they expect this. IMHO, there are just too many decisions and pressure for interventions that hit them as soon as they enter the door for me to feel comfortable about not being there. If she truly does not need my support at first, that is fine--I promise not to 'smother them', but I want to be fairly close-at-hand; things can happen so quickly, so unexpectedly.

Luv2bemommy · 08-04-2006, 10:03 PM

I'm sorry you missed the birth!! {{{huggss}}}} Wow, she had a great labor though! I pray my next one is like that! lol

tlcdoula · 08-05-2006, 12:17 AM

I totally agree Lori - if my client calls and says she is going to the hospital I will also go whether they say they want me there or not. They know prenatally that is what I do and I do not leave it seem like it is an option. I do let them know that if things aren't happening or if they do not want me to stay then I will wait in the family lounge until they need me. I started doing this after I had a client who had a placental abruption.

With that situation the mama was at the hospital very early in labor because she felt like she needed to be there. She told me I could do whatever I wanted and the staff kept trying to get me to leave. I told her that I just didn't feel like going home was right just like she thought it was important to be in the hospital and sure enough we were both right. She abrupted and I needed to be there to go in with her for the cesarean birth.

Ever since then I go with them and stay just in case.

Kalamazoo Doula · 08-05-2006, 11:12 AM

Sorry that you missed the birth! Wow, she does not mess around, huh? LOL Did she say anything about why they started Pit? It was only six hours after ROM! You would think that they would let her go into it with more time, unless there was an issue, or this hospital is very much into labor managment. It might not of been so intense, I bet baby was like...'What the f***', lol! Not much of a "transition" time, LOL Are you gonna go visit while she is at the hospital?

I agree with going to the hospital pretty much right way. If my clients call and they tell me that they are on the way up to the hospital, I start getting ready. Since most of the time I would beat them there if I left righ away, since I only live 5 mins (in traffic) one and about 8 min (in traffic) from the other! I'm in a pretty good spot actually, LOL! I usually tell them to call me once they get up there to update me, since the one hospital has a crazy admission song and dance!

loveslabor · 08-05-2006, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalamazoo Doula

Sorry that you missed the birth! Wow, she does not mess around, huh? LOL Did she say anything about why they started Pit? It was only six hours after ROM! You would think that they would let her go into it with more time, unless there was an issue, or this hospital is very much into labor managment. It might not of been so intense, I bet baby was like...'What the f***', lol! Not much of a "transition" time, LOL Are you gonna go visit while she is at the hospital?

I agree with going to the hospital pretty much right way. If my clients call and they tell me that they are on the way up to the hospital, I start getting ready. Since most of the time I would beat them there if I left righ away, since I only live 5 mins (in traffic) one and about 8 min (in traffic) from the other! I'm in a pretty good spot actually, LOL! I usually tell them to call me once they get up there to update me, since the one hospital has a crazy admission song and dance!

They only wanted to allow her 6 hours after ROM. That's pretty common with the other 3 births I have attended. Most will try to start pitocin right away, or maybe give them an hour. This mother seemed ok with most the interventions from our initial discussions. From our discussions, she was not looking for a natural birth. She was looking for someone to be with her during labor if her husband had to watch the kids. She has a heart condition that requires antibiotics as soon as labor starts, so she was already hooked up. She was not against epidurals or augmentation.

If a mother is trying to avoid interventions, I definitely do advise that I come to the hospital when they do. (With my first 2 births, I was at the hospital for about 20 hours because I went in right away) But because this was not the case with this momma, I did not push it when she repeatedly declined my offer to come. She had also declined prenatals, so honestly I didn't feel that connected with her, but still willing to offer her my support at the birth.

I think she felt a little guilty that I was doing this for free. I tried to assure her that I wouldn't be offering my services for free if it was a problem. She was always saying she didn't want to inconvenience me with the long drive, or the waiting through early labor, or prenatals, or the long drive to her house for support at home. I can only say things so many times, ya know.

I don't know. I feel that I offered myself as much as I could to her, but ultimately, it was her choice and I can't bypass her decision to hold off just because I think she's wrong. All part of that informed consent thing. Before they started the pitocin, I told her that it might just push her over that edge really quickly and things would start happening right away, especially with her last 2 hours labor. I also told her there was a possibility of it taking a while too, that we just couldn't know for sure.

I wouldn't want to show up against her wishes and make her feel uncomfortable, resentful or disempowered.