How do you suggest/encourage clients without pushing?

[Tiffany]

When my midwife first mentioned homebirth, in my mind that was a crazy notion and only for the crunchy women of the world (I know there are a lot of you here so I say that with love ) or for women in third world countries. Of course, that thinking changed drastically over a period of time, but I still remember how I felt about it when it was first mentioned. I'm glad I decided to research it more because I ultimately did end up making the decision on my own, but if I had never thought to look more into it I don't know what would have happened.

So, I'm asking--how do you inform clients about things without looking like you are trying to push something on them? Last night my client said "I had to sit in the waiting room for an hour to see the OB for 5 minutes" and I blurted out, "With a midwife you would have talked to her for 45 minutes". She also had jokingly mentioned about birthing in the hottub in the backyard and I laughed with her but responded that it can happen with a midwife and homebirth.

And the only reason I made any mention of that is because she is planning on breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing and I just think it fits with her!

This post wasn't supposed to be about one instance, but in general if you think someone would be interested in say, a homebirth down the road, but you know they need to look more into it for themselves--how do you go about initially suggesting it, not sounding like you are trying to push them into it?

Thanks for any advice!

[Matrescence]

I'm a blabber... I try not to be but it always just comes out

I think the best way is to introduce literature on the subject so they are learning it for themselves vs hearing it from us. It's good then to go back and reiterate what they've learned with our experiences and such but if they can learn it on their own I think they hold it in higher value... if that makes any sense.

It's hard, I hit the brick wall with clients who put their care provider on a pedestal and do whatever they suggest, sometimes it's not an issue but more often than not it is... I try to ask them how they feel about whatever and ask if they've read anything about it then I try to encourage them to research it as well as any other options pertinent to the situation. But then my big mouth comes in to play and well... I'm still learning how to control that

[Babies_Bellies_Boobies]

giving them info to read, and asking them what they thought/ if they had any question/ did anything seem unusual at the next visit is a good way to encourage more dialogue as well.

[Kim Trower]

also suggesting they just go talk with a midwife. It's a free meeting that does not obligate them to anything. Let the midwife sell herself...I encourage my clients to ask them all the questions they have about pregnancy and homebirth and that way if they still choose the hospital they know they had all the info from both sides and will never wonder...what if?

[raspberrymoondoula]

i like to slip copies of compleat mother magazine to my clients. give em some food for thougth lol

[1stimestar]

My clients learn pretty quickly that when I ask "would you like to hear/learn more about that" it means I have something I want them to know, but then it is their choice whether to hear it or not. Most of the time time they say yes, but I had a client that said "no, I think I'll go with my original idea" and that was fine. She was comfortable with her choice.

[raspberrymoondoula]

i sometimes just try to 'assume' by asking "and whos your midwife?" and usually get "oh i have an OB" and that opens it up to ask "oh, would you like info about local midwives?" some people dont know they still exist sadly.

[Matrescence]

I like that idea I do that with breastfeeding, I assume they will breastfeed until they tell me different, actually had one who was borderline and when I assumed she asked me if I did, once I shared my experiences with her she opened up to learning more and viola she breastfed! I'll have to remember that for midwives

[raspberrymoondoula]

yeah i've found tho that it works more for breastfeeding than midwives unfortunately. tho our ICAN group is kinda becoming the UC fanclub mostly from my going "jsut do it yourself, i did". i get a lot of "wait, you can do that?"

[Matrescence]

I bet

[fearlessbirth]

I posed the same question on another website and the consensus seemed to be what a lot of you are saying: present the information in a non-confrontational way and offer plenty of reading and resources if the mother seems interested. And try, try, try (here's where I get iffy, myself) not to sound judgemental.