What's the most helpful thing you'd heard an OB nurse say?

Tiffany · 11-04-2005, 09:08 AM

OB nurses get to work with laboring and birthing moms all throughout the day. We have encountered some great nurses in our time as doulas, and I'd like to focus on the positive aspect of our job, working as a team with the nurses.

What's the most helpful thing you'd heard an OB nurse say?

DL · 11-04-2005, 01:05 PM

Speaking directly to me, and in front of the mom, "She's doing so wonderfully well!"

I know that may sound too simple, but....

I spend a lot of time praising mom, but I thought that was so helpful for mom to hear it from another professional other than me. The fact that she said it to ME let the mom know that it really must be true and wasn't just a patronizing comment to her in the event she wasn't doing as well (possibly her line of thinking). Does that make any sense?

kelley piasecki · 11-04-2005, 02:43 PM

At my last birth, I was helping the mom in getting her son to latch on for the first time, and the nurse who was cleaning up the room, said (after a few minutes of listening to me), "Wow, are you for hire?"

I chuckled and said, "Thank you!"

That made me feel really good!

Babies_Bellies_Boobies · 11-04-2005, 04:45 PM

good question!

i have to think awhile on this, cause not much is coming to mind...

DL · 03-21-2006, 11:35 PM

It's been a while since this was posted, so I'll give a more up-to-date example from a recent birth:

After being told by a nurse for the "up-teenth millionth time" that my client needed to stay in bed and hooked up to the monitor as much as possible

:, a new nurse came in to sub for the original nurse (when the original nurse went to lunch). When I helped mom to the potty, the new nurse said, "Good....keep her on there as long as you can; that's one of the best positions for her to be in".

Wow! What a difference a nurse can make!!!

Unfortunately, we only got to keep the 'good' nurse for an hour, then back to the other "stay in bed, I'm gonna make things difficult for the mom & these doulas" nurse.

Does anyone else have anything to add?

tlcdoula · 03-22-2006, 07:02 AM

When I was at my niece's birth her mother and I were supporting her. My niece wanted us both to be very hands on - it was a very emotional birth because the morning before her labor started her husband was sent overseas (military). So we were both very, very hands on and we worked so well as a triad. My niece's nurse came in at one point and said that we were doing so well that we should consider being doulas. She then just went into discussing how much the nurses at that hospital hated nurses, but if they could work with doulas like "us" she knows that everyone would be so positive. I just smiled from ear to ear and she said "you are a doula - I just knew it" and then went on and on about how other doulas that they worked with were rude and overbearing but that I was just focused on mom like it should be. She also said that she felt so useless with the mom and I there, but how absolutely beautiful we worked together.

We ended up having doctors and nurses coming in to "peek" on us and see how we were doing. Apparently the nurse went out and told everyone that there was a doula in that room and we were all working so beautifully.

It felt so good to know that I was able to change their attitude about doulas, and the nice thing was that I was able to do another birth there and had one of the nurses that saw me work and she was positive and friendly!!! Of course, I just keep hoping that the "rude" doulas they were talking about don't come in and make a bad name for all of us again!!!

raspberrymoondoula · 03-22-2006, 09:59 AM

i just wantd to say, if you dont like your nurse you have EVERY right to request another one!!!

tlcdoula · 03-22-2006, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrymoondoula

i just wantd to say, if you dont like your nurse you have EVERY right to request another one!!!

We really don't have that right, but mama does. As a doula, would you really request another nurse if she is having a problem with you? Would you consult with the mama first? Honestly I think I would bear with the nurse unless the mama requested a change.

DL · 03-22-2006, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrymoondoula

i just wantd to say, if you dont like your nurse you have EVERY right to request another one!!!

I do agree with you, if it's the mom that wants another nurse and requests it. I let my clients know that they have this option (doesn't mean that they will actually do it, however). Since the nurse isn't my nurse, then I don't think that it's my place to request another one if I don't like her, kwim? As a doula, I try to be as non-confrontational with the medical staff as possible. It's not always easy, but that's one of the things in which I strive really hard. The parents can confront all they want, though!

DL · 03-22-2006, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlcdoula

We really don't have that right, but mama does. As a doula, would you really request another nurse if she is having a problem with you? Would you consult with the mama first? Honestly I think I would bear with the nurse unless the mama requested a change.

We must've been typing out our replies at the same time!

tlcdoula · 03-22-2006, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doula Lori

We must've been typing out our replies at the same time!

I think we did because I hit the button and then went to another page and when I looked your message was there

Luv2bemommy · 03-22-2006, 08:19 PM

I don't have any doula expierence with L&D nurses yet but when I was in labor I had 3 WONDERFUL nurses.. They would help me change positions and was all for me getting on the birthing ball.. They never wanted me to push a certain way, anything I wanted.. They all also said how proud they were of me and how great I done..

DL · 03-22-2006, 10:10 PM

That's great that you have had wonderful nurses, Candice!

Actually, by far MOST of the nurses that I've worked with have been really wonderful!

I'm not out to give nurses a bad name at all. I'm very used to being with fantastic nurses, so whenever I do get the occasional "bad" one, it makes me appreciate all of the other nurses even more!

Tashina Marker · 03-22-2006, 10:28 PM

I know one thing when I go to the hospital TMC again I am going to request a nurse named Fran.WOW! she was sooooooooooo wonderful to us in my last birth that I did.I give her a 110% .I guess after 20 yrs experience that you would know your job well.It was just such a difference from our other nurses.Actually after Fran came Diana & boy she was great too! What good nurses who care about what they do,will do for a birth & a terrified mother.

Her Doula · 04-01-2006, 02:52 PM

The nurse when I was in labor was an angel. She told me I didn't even look like I was in labor and had never seen a mom handling labor as well as I was. She brought me and my dh fruit and OJ and suggested I get into the tub. I hope I get another chance to work with her as a doula and not as a birthing mom.