My doula is moving out of state...

[Jilian]

Even before I got pregnant I knew who I wanted to have as my doula. I met this woman at a doula meeting about a year ago and got a great vibe from her. She's soft-spoken and gentle and I feel really comfortable with her. A few weeks ago I found out she's moving out of state (and really far away). Now I'm not sure what to do.

There are only 2 other doulas (that I know of) in my area and one is a HB MW about 45 mins away - I've never met her but I know she's super busy and works in a birth center. The other is a nice lady but I don't get the "vibe" from her, KWIM? She's great and knows her stuff but the connection just isn't there.

I'm having a homebirth. Last time I had a natural hospital birth without a doula and did ok. I'm wondering if I should just not have a doula again. Money is a factor too, I know it shouldn't be but doulas in our area charge around $600 and it would be a big stretch for us to afford that. I was willing to pay it for the doula I felt the connection with but it would have taken a whole 9 mos of saving to afford it.

Any suggestions?

[Ceci]

I am sorry but don't have any good answers....does your MW have an assistant that comes with her? If so, could she also act as your doula? My doula is away (far away) at a conference the week I am due, so I feel your pain

[tlcdoula]

Do you have a friend that you could "train" to be a doula? That might be an option that might help you to get a doula for free and also give a good friend the opportunity to share something very special with you.

I always tease my dh and family members that if I get pregnant again and if they want to attend my birth then they will have to go through my doula training

[Jilian]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlcdoula Do you have a friend that you could "train" to be a doula? That might be an option that might help you to get a doula for free and also give a good friend the opportunity to share something very special with you.

This is what I am leaning towards. All of my really close friends live in MA (where I'm originally from) and I'm in FL but I think I could educate DP enough before the birth to be able to help. My sister also really wants to be at the birth, but I'm not sure how realistic that will be because she'll have a 4 month old. I'm hoping between the two of them I can get some support. The MW can help them to properly support me too.

[sadevan]

I wouldn't pay for someone I wasn't comfortable with. I hope it works out that you have the support you need which ever way it works out.

[fearlessbirth]

Awww. That stinks! I'm so sorry. If I was closer I'd certainly doula you for free

From what you said about your first birth being OK, DP may be all you need. And I'm sure the MW will have an assistant. I hope it all works out for you and you feel comfortable!

[Luv2bemommy]

I'm having this problem myself. We don't have the extra $$ to pay a doula since we are paying for the HB totally out of pocket so we won't be having a doula here. Good thing is, my MW has 2 birth asst's and I am going to ask if BOTH can attend so I can have one as a doula type if I need one! Plus my friend and DH will be here. I look at it if I can have 3 hopsital births induced with pitocin and didnt need an epidural, I should be great at home! LOL

[tlcdoula]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luv2bemommy I'm having this problem myself. We don't have the extra $$ to pay a doula since we are paying for the HB totally out of pocket so we won't be having a doula here. Good thing is, my MW has 2 birth asst's and I am going to ask if BOTH can attend so I can have one as a doula type if I need one! Plus my friend and DH will be here. I look at it if I can have 3 hopsital births induced with pitocin and didnt need an epidural, I should be great at home! LOL

Would you have to pay more if two assistants attend? I would think you would since she would have to pay them.