Why are people so, so,....

scarborogal · 12-28-2006, 06:09 PM

Why are rich people so damn cheap! I get a referal from a woman who Idid volunteer doula for. The friend I doula'd was on social assistance and had a social worker. And I hadn't discussed any fees on the phone. I was going to discuss it with this woman when I got there. She lives is a wealthy area so I waited. Well, I get to her house which is clearly twice the size of mine. Her computer makes mine look like a releck from the stone ages and there is a car in the drive way younger then my daughter. (My cars are all older them my children's combined ages)

So we talked and then she asked about how I get paid and I told her that I only do volunteer work for low income families or single mothers or women on social assistance. And that my fee was currently quite low at $300 until I get certified. Heck I wanted to raise my fee when I pulled in the drive way. She then back peddled and wanted to talk to her husband first and that perhaps he would be home for her birth and what not.

I'm glad I stood my ground. She said she'd call me in two weeks.

Not sure I want the gig now.

K.

Tashina Marker · 12-28-2006, 06:16 PM

My dad goes through that situation with his business. He stands his ground they either take it or leave it. He has the same price for everyone,& he does a good job.He figures if they don't take it ,it was probably for the best.He's done tooooooo many under bid jobs because he's dropped the price to get the job & in the end he ends up with a lousy deal. Stand your ground,your worth it

tlcdoula · 12-28-2006, 06:29 PM

I can totally understand where you are coming from. I have experienced the same thing too. Unfortunately I think that those who want the service for nothing, but can still afford it just don't value it or realize what they are really getting.

Honestly it is because of situations like these that I do not do volunteer work anymore. Instead I offer those who can't afford it a sliding scale (which doesn't slide very low) and then offer them fundraising options so that I am not out. Of course it also gives me the option of making that exception without me feeling obligated to do so.

scarborogal · 12-28-2006, 06:35 PM

What do you mean by "fundraising options"? I will look into a sliding scale once I'm certified and I had heard someone say they do one volunteer for every 5 births they have which I think is great. I'm worked with public health and see too many single, low income women who really do need a doula in their case.

K.

b'earth angel · 12-28-2006, 07:57 PM

Some people are just tight. These types always want something for nothing. I wouldn't take it personally, although I know that's hard not to do! I don't think it's just 'rich' people, I know plenty of folks who are this way.
It is frustrating to deal w/these kind of people. Hang in there!

AussieDoula · 12-29-2006, 12:30 AM

Honestly, I have learnt that you can't judge a book by it's cover... Having a large house in a nice neighbourhood, a new car, and flashy computer doesn't automatically mean someone is wealthy. Without looking at their income, expenditures, financial commitments, and priorities it is hard to accurately gauge what someone can afford.

From personal experience, I can tell you that the money you make and how "rich" you are is all relative. Even making $90k annually was a tight stretch and we were barely scraping by due to the area we lived in.

Having said that, I can understand the frustration that comes from those who are in a perfect position to spend lavishly but will turn their nose up at anything that isn't free. The fine line between thriftiness and being a plain old miser, lol!

I take on a volunteer client once every quarter (although this year I seemed to have done almost all of my support and classes on a volunteer basis). I also offer a sliding scale that goes all the way down to $100 (aka "bare expenses" lol).

Does anyone use a sliding scale with no limit? For example, the higher the client's income, the higher the Doula fee. I've heard of other Doulas doing this, and was interested to know if any of my AllDoulas sisters set fees this way.

tchatters · 12-29-2006, 01:08 AM

In the neighborhood where I'm at in California, there are MANY people that look rich and are living well beyond their means. Fancy cars, fancy houses- all bought on interest only loans. The forclosure signs are popping up everywhere these days. I feel lucky that we took a chance and bought our house here 7 years before everyone else- when there wasn't one grocery store nearby, no police patrols or anything!

That being said, they made those choices and choose to live what I consider a false life. When I do the math and I get paid like $2 an hour for Doula work and about $3 an hour teaching, I don't feel bad for them. They could sell their new BMW to pay your fee :-)

1stimestar · 12-29-2006, 01:23 AM

Lately I only do Operation Special Delivery freebies and haven't even done one of those in about a year. Every one can afford something. I also offer fundraising ideas like they can find a/several sponsors, having a doula money tree at their baby shower, selling stuff, etc. And yes, they might have a nice house, nice car, nice computer and good jobs and still be cash poor, but so what? If they have that nice of things then they have options. Take out a small loan, make payments to me, or downgrade something, give up your tivo dish network for 2 months, borrow money from your parents. Sorry, I live paycheck to paycheck, am on dial up, don't have cable...if they have more options then I do, then I am not doing their birth for free.

scarborogal · 12-29-2006, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1stimestar

Lately I only do Operation Special Delivery freebies and haven't even done one of those in about a year. Every one can afford something. I also offer fundraising ideas like they can find a/several sponsors, having a doula money tree at their baby shower, selling stuff, etc. And yes, they might have a nice house, nice car, nice computer and good jobs and still be cash poor, but so what? If they have that nice of things then they have options. Take out a small loan, make payments to me, or downgrade something, give up your tivo dish network for 2 months, borrow money from your parents. Sorry, I live paycheck to paycheck, am on dial up, don't have cable...if they have more options then I do, then I am not doing their birth for free.

I think that is my feeling too. If you have more then me, you can afford me or not use me. I mean for heaven sake, my bank balance is negative and she wants me to give my time for free. I can't do it anymore. And I can't ask my hubby to take time off work to attend births for free either. I would rather now not do any births or ones where the woman truly is desperate. I'm good at what I do, I think it should be paid for.

K.

tlcdoula · 12-29-2006, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AussieDoula

Does anyone use a sliding scale with no limit? For example, the higher the client's income, the higher the Doula fee. I've heard of other Doulas doing this, and was interested to know if any of my AllDoulas sisters set fees this way.

I don't do this. I set my sliding scale based upon the lowest I am willing to go to where I want my fee to be

doula Michele · 12-29-2006, 09:32 AM

Yes, I totally agree. I will do a free birth if i feel like it or for a friend or family, but I am done doing it for others. We live in a wealthy community, and its not the poor people wanting a doula, its the ones who make ( and spend) lots of money.
I am sure they didn't get their big screen tv for free why should they try to cheap out on their doula.

tlcdoula · 12-29-2006, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tchatters

In the neighborhood where I'm at in California, there are MANY people that look rich and are living well beyond their means. Fancy cars, fancy houses- all bought on interest only loans. The forclosure signs are popping up everywhere these days. I feel lucky that we took a chance and bought our house here 7 years before everyone else- when there wasn't one grocery store nearby, no police patrols or anything!

That being said, they made those choices and choose to live what I consider a false life. When I do the math and I get paid like $2 an hour for Doula work and about $3 an hour teaching, I don't feel bad for them. They could sell their new BMW to pay your fee :-)

I agree with this. If a family is living beyond their means and really want a doula they do still have options - go in debt further (which I do not recommend), sell some of their possessions to pay for the doula, work more hours to pay for the doula, etc. My feeling on it is that where there is a will there is a way. I personally do not feel that I want to be the one to suffer because someone chooses to live beyond their means. That isn't my problem. My problem is my means and this is my job. I am sure the people that do this wouldn't think to call the people who own their loan on their home, cars, etc and ask them to purchase something for free for them. kwim?

Jilian · 12-29-2006, 10:33 AM

I just started charging and I've decided that $150 is the absolute lowest I am willing to go. If I charge any less I'd probably be losing money in order to doula for a client. Gas and supplies add up quickly. As much as I love doula-ing, I'm not in a position to lose money doing it. That being said, I am doula-ing for my sister for free. Only because she's my sister and it is really important for me to support her during labor. I also really want to be there to see my nephew be born!

AmandaB · 12-29-2006, 11:06 AM

I have found a fee that I am comfortable with and I am sticking to it. I am worth what I charge regardless of being done my certification or not. I have said it before, it I had waited to charge until I was certified I would not be a Doula today.

I had a interview/hire last night, and she had ask what we agreed I would charge her. I said my fee is _______$, and she said could you do it for 100$ less (than what I normally charge). I agreed, I think that after assessing the situation, we came to something fair for both of us. I will have to take a hour there and back for each prenatal and be her sole birth partner.

Until we are confident with what we charge then some of us will still be doing it for nothing (no fee, I mean). Burn out in this line of work can be huge, and I think to continue to put yourself out there and get very little in return can lead to that. I always discuss fees over the phone, prior to interview and that way they (as a couple) have time to discuss it and if anything arises between phone contact and interview, it can be discussed and worked out.

So Kim, when someone asks what you charge, assume that they are paying clients, especially if you know they are not calling from Public Health or another volunteer org. Tell them with confidence: "My birth package is 300$ or 500$ (whatever it maybe) and this is what you get for that". Stick to your guns, you know what your time is worth and what your skills are worth and there is no point in selling yourself short. I know you can do it. Call me if you need another pep-talk, lol. Luv ya!!

dorothyh · 12-29-2006, 11:34 AM

OH I have definitely had those clients as well...one couple where the dad every single prenatal visit made comments about how high my fee was (and this family had $$ - household help, new cars, etc.) - but then after the birth, when I came for the postpartum visit, he was the one telling me how I had undercharged and he needed to give me more $$ (and then he gave me a check for $100 more!) Go figure LOL

Recently I had a birth (posted over in birth stories as December Birth #1) where the couple hired me this past summer. I gave them my fee info (and here in the NYC metro area, the fees here are higher than most parts of the country), they never asked me to lower my fee, although they did ask to alter the payment schedule. I did lower it for them by $50, which they were quite appreciative of, and they made small payments throughout her pregnancy - including two payments from their parents. I know that hiring me not easy financially for this family. And then, in the middle of her labor, the husband tells me that my fee was a bargain compared to the value they were getting for it!! And then this week I did the postpartum visit with them - they told me I am the first person they are calling when she gets pregnant again, plus they gave me a very nice gift of a candle and a Barnes and Noble gift card for $25 as a thank you.

I think though that so many people often don't realize the value of having a doula there until afterwards.