NO! I'm NOT Going to be my OWN DOULA! ARGH!!!

naturalbirther · 12-30-2006, 03:11 PM

Okay, so how many of you were assaulted with THIS question the MOMENT you said, "I'm pregnant!" :
"So!...Are you going to be your own doula?"

What th' heck? I don't know why, but this makes me SO mad and I think every family member has asked me this same freakin' question! Uh, hmm...let's see...if I was an OB or midwife, would they all say, "So!...are you going to be your own OB/Midwife?" How many dentists get asked if their going to do their own rootcanal? It's not like I'm a mechanic and my car broke down! Geez!

I mean, come on!

I don't know why this makes me so angry, but it does.

ing I guess it makes me feel like no one takes me seriously as a doula, ya know? And then my husband, of ALL people, goes, "What!?! What do you mean you want to hire a doula?" Well, hello!

So, I tried explaining to him that in my last birth experience that even though I knew all the techniques that the nurse helped him and my mom use on me and all the breathing that she helped me to remember, she was the one who kept me focused and in control; something that my mom and dh could NOT have done. Honestly, I would have gotten angry with them. I know they wouldn't have pushed me to get an epidural, but I think that they would have made me much more tense and ended up making me feel more pain, ya know? So, anyway, even after explaing this to him, he still actually acts angry when I mention hiring a doula!

Ok, I mostly wanted to vent, but I'm really curious....have YOU ever been asked this????

Ash

Lindsay · 12-30-2006, 04:02 PM

I've gotten it a couple of times. It's a little annoying.

I usually laugh and roll my eyes and say I'll be too busy laboring to do it all myself.

helpinghands · 12-30-2006, 05:47 PM

I have been asked that question too. I think that it may not click for some people.. that it isn't about the book knowledge that makes us good doulas. It is the support. The best doulas I have had at my births, were just good friends who had big hearts and loving hands. FWIW... Just use it as an opportunity to educate if you can.

Neshama · 12-30-2006, 09:07 PM

That IS weird! I have never heard of such a thing! (Perhaps thats because I am not and have never been pregnant, hm.... yeah that may have something to do with it!)
It just shows ignorance. That IS frustrating, like they dont see you as an important part in birth, you can do both! hm.... that is interesting!

ROFLMTO!

Luv2bemommy · 12-30-2006, 10:13 PM

OMG, I have gotten this too!! I'm like, how can I doula myself? ROFL I just laugh at their ignorance and forget about it.

doula jill · 12-31-2006, 12:42 AM

It's like asking a surgeon if they are going to operate on themselves. Or a psychiatrist if they do their own therapy!

Jill

Jilian · 12-31-2006, 10:22 AM

I laugh at this one. I say things like "Yeah, I'm gonna rub my own back during contractions" or "I'm gonna coach myself on proper breathing while I'm in the middle of a contraction".

mothermedoula · 12-31-2006, 08:55 PM

I haven't been asked that, but I have been asked if I am having a doula. Of course, I say, I'll have two! I wouldn't give birth without a doula!