WWYD?

~Tranquility~Doula · 01-03-2007, 05:23 PM

I need some advice ladies! I have a client that is due next week. She is having her baby at a hospital (the one with the highest rate of c-sections in the state!- we call it the "chop shop"). Anyway, I've never worked with her OB before but my client tells me that she's very supportive of her wishes, yada, yada. Well yesterday I was looking through some threads on Mothering and someone mentioned the OB and recommended that no one see this woman. So I PM'd her and asked her if she wouldn't mind sharing her experience with me. She wrote back saying that she was just awful and now I'm worried for me client. I don't want to freak her out less than a week from her EDD, but I feel like we should discuss this. What should I do?? HELP!

doula Michele · 01-03-2007, 05:52 PM

I would ask her what SHE likes about her OB. Everyone likes or dislikes their Drs for different reasons.
I don't think I would mention to her what I had heard second hand. I would also make sure she has a clear birth plan and that you know exactly what your clients wishes are, and then go from there.

DoulaRena · 01-03-2007, 05:56 PM

Hi Noelia, again I am new here but maybe I can offer some solutions.

I have been in the birth community for awhile and know most of my local OB's very well and their style. If I have a client who wants one thing and I know their OB to do the opposite, I will share that with them in a very supportive way.

example: "I know that this particular thing was very important to you during birth or immediately after, I wanted to let you know that it can be done, but you may need to be very strong/assertive during a time that you may not have the energy - or this is a great area for your partner" "It's usually protocol for your physican to want to do otherwise"

Sticking to the facts without saying anything bad, just being honest.

Then I work hard in trying to help them find a new physician real quick - I'm lucky in that a few of the really good OB's here will take a client of mine last minute if they can see them at least once before they deliver.

But prepare them for needing to stand up for the real important things and empower them to have the birth they invisioned.

Does this help at all?

~Tranquility~Doula · 01-03-2007, 06:05 PM

Ugh. She has told me all of the things that she likes about this OB and, now from what I've heard, it sounds like this OB says whatever the mom wants to hear and then "changes her mind" during the birth. I wish I would have found out this information sooner. I could approach it in the way Rena has mentioned and it would be great if mom would switch providers. I know a fantastic group of midwives that would take her this late, but I don't think mom would switch. Of course, that is just my feeling and I don't know that for sure... Blech...

tlcdoula · 01-03-2007, 06:29 PM

I would probably just discuss with her whether her ob and her are on the same page. As far as what one hears second hand that doesn't mean it has to be this way for this mama. For example, when I was pregnant with my last two girls I had an ob I LOVED. She was so sweet, so kind and went way beyond just being an ob. She is the kind of woman that once when I was crying in her office she held me while I cried and stayed with me until I was calmed down. She let me labor and do whatever I needed to do throughout both births. I was completely in charge and although I didn't take advantage fo all that I could have - she would have let me. Fast forward to when Faith was two years old and I started on my doula journey. I heard such awful things about my doctor from the other doulas, and thought maybe my views were skewed, etc. Thankfully before she quit (went to gyn only) I got to do a birth with her - it was such a fantastic experience for both me and the mama. I loved my doctor even more and knew she was everything I remembered her to be.

I guess the reason I am sharing this is because just because one person experiences something doesn't necessarily mean everyone will. You weren't there and you don't know for certain. I think the only way I would take this into consideration was if I heard this over and over again, but one person - nope wouldn't guide me to warn the client. Maybe just talk with her.

I also think it is important to remember that this mother chose this doctor and we are not there to rescue her from her choice. Support her and make up your mind after you go through the experience with the doctor. kwim?

doula Michele · 01-03-2007, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlcdoula

I would probably just discuss with her whether her ob and her are on the same page. As far as what one hears second hand that doesn't mean it has to be this way for this mama. For example, when I was pregnant with my last two girls I had an ob I LOVED. She was so sweet, so kind and went way beyond just being an ob. She is the kind of woman that once when I was crying in her office she held me while I cried and stayed with me until I was calmed down. She let me labor and do whatever I needed to do throughout both births. I was completely in charge and although I didn't take advantage fo all that I could have - she would have let me. Fast forward to when Faith was two years old and I started on my doula journey. I heard such awful things about my doctor from the other doulas, and thought maybe my views were skewed, etc. Thankfully before she quit (went to gyn only) I got to do a birth with her - it was such a fantastic experience for both me and the mama. I loved my doctor even more and knew she was everything I remembered her to be.

I guess the reason I am sharing this is because just because one person experiences something doesn't necessarily mean everyone will. You weren't there and you don't know for certain. I think the only way I would take this into consideration was if I heard this over and over again, but one person - nope wouldn't guide me to warn the client. Maybe just talk with her.

I also think it is important to remember that this mother chose this doctor and we are not there to rescue her from her choice. Support her and make up your mind after you go through the experience with the doctor. kwim?

Yeah.. thats what i was trying to say...but Michelle said it better.

tlcdoula · 01-03-2007, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doula Michele

Yeah.. thats what i was trying to say...but Michelle said it better.

Sorry, did I repeat what you wrote? I was in a hurry and didn't read all the posts (today is ds 17th birthday so I was limited on time earlier

)

doula Michele · 01-03-2007, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlcdoula

Sorry, did I repeat what you wrote? I was in a hurry and didn't read all the posts (today is ds 17th birthday so I was limited on time earlier

)

you just expounded on what I was thinking!

CatieDoula · 01-03-2007, 10:07 PM

I agree with the others. There is a great OB in town here but there are some mom's that aren't crazy about her because something went wrong in their birth and they blame her even if she isn't at fault. I would try to not put too much stock into what this one person (that you don't know) says about her. Are there other doulas or mamas that you can talk with that may have worked with this doc? Are you good friends with any L/D nurses? I also don't know that I would say anything based on one opinion.

MamaBean · 01-04-2007, 12:14 AM

How a mother's birth turned out can have a huge effect on the way they see their doctor. Maybe that woman made some choices that she wasn't happy with- perhaps the doctor didn't push her to do these things, but afterwards she sees it as that way because she wants to put the blame somewhere besides herself. *I hope that made sense, it did in my head lol*

~Tranquility~Doula · 01-04-2007, 09:05 AM

You know what... I'm just gonna let things be. My client is happy with her doctor and she is due in less than a week. This other woman just freaked me out because she said some things that the OB "made" her do in labor that I know my client does not want. I'll just have to see what happens and do my best to make sure that my client knows what is going on during labor. I just needed to get that out. Thanks ladies!

doula Michele · 01-04-2007, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Tranquility~Doula

You know what... I'm just gonna let things be. My client is happy with her doctor and she is due in less than a week. This other woman just freaked me out because she said some things that the OB "made" her do in labor that I know my client does not want. I'll just have to see what happens and do my best to make sure that my client knows what is going on during labor. I just needed to get that out. Thanks ladies!

I think thats best. Know what your client wants and help support her choice, but in the end its her choice. And I honestly believe no one can make you do anything that you really do not want to do.
Just my opinion.