Foetal Alcohol Syndrome - Definite

doulacpt · 01-10-2007, 07:03 AM

So, I have a mom due yesterday who's baby has been diagnosed with Foetal Alchohol Syndrome..

The mom is a cocaine addict, alcoholic, smoker, who has recently been dumped by the baby's daddy. She is living with her parents, and seems to have no support there.

Baby was due yesterday, but nothing yet. She will give birth in a hospital in town with specialized equipment, necessary for baby's survival.

My heart is breaking for this poor baby, has anyone been through this before???
I have read up LOADS in the last few days, but I'm still anxious as to what to expect.

douladot · 01-10-2007, 10:00 AM

No experience in this at all, but big

to you for going through this. It is probably going to be difficult.

jesscardona · 01-10-2007, 10:08 AM

s oh no.. that is just so sad.. my heart goes out for this little baby.. and for this mom, I hope when she has this baby, she will change and give her child all the love and nurturing it will need.. and I wish you the best too, b/c I'm sure this won't be easy.. and who know's what her reaction will be.. and who knows how this baby will be born..
That baby will need so much care and attention, I hope the grandparents will have compassion and take over as in caring for this little baby..

1stimestar · 01-10-2007, 11:09 AM

I've taken a few FASD trainings and if I recall correctly, they can not make that diagnosis before the baby is even born. They can hypothisize that he will be affected by it, but can not say for sure. Do you think your feelings will prevent you from supporting the mother as well as any other client? Do you think that you can refrain from judging her?

b'earth angel · 01-10-2007, 11:42 AM

I am so glad that you are going to be the doula for this woman. If anyone ever needed to be mothered during labor and birth, it's women like this I think. You may never know the impact you might have on her and her baby by supporting her through this process. It's easy to reach out with love to the baby, who is an 'innocent' bystander, but this mom is hurting too.

Why did she start up with the drugs and alcohol? Most often it is to self medicate. I'm sure that she has a story to tell. Georgeanne asks a very poignant question, can you not judge her. I had to think about this one for a few minutes myself! It's so easy to judge folks for actions we deem as 'evil'. (and I don't excuse her for her bad choices) But if we condemn when what they need is love, what damage do we do?

Doulacpt you are in a very influencial position with this woman, wether she knows it [or cares] or not. Remember, your the doula for the mom, baby has his/her own care team. I don't have any experience to offer, just blessings for you both. I'm sure that if we doula long enough, we will all have similar experiences. This is a good lesson for me and I appreciate you sharing it w/us. Although this will be difficult,[I imagine], I wish you the best. Keep us posted please! We all want a good outcome for all, mom-baby-Doula!

earthgirl · 01-10-2007, 05:26 PM

for all involved.

doula Michele · 01-10-2007, 06:10 PM

Thats so sad.
No, i have never had a client like this, but I am on the FASD committee, and am learning tons about it. It is so sad becasue its a 100% preventable disease. They won't fully know the effects till later on.
I do work with some moms who have FAS, and they are difficult and challenging.

anointeddoula · 01-10-2007, 09:21 PM

This is truly sad. I have had experices with a few. It is really said. I believe the baby will go into foster care. Due to the fact that it life has been in dangered by the mother's drinking. The court will give the mom a chance to clean up her act. The damage done to the child is hard. The one thing I hold on to is with God all things are possible. It is possible for the child to live a normal life.

asafepassage · 01-10-2007, 09:36 PM

I agree with lots that has been said, especially the comments about remaining in a position of non-judgement and that you are there to support mom, and that substance use in pregnancy, as other times, is a form of self-medicating and to excess, self-harm.

Yes I agree that FASD is preventable, when, as research indicates, the most common factors for FASD are prevented...childhood sexual abuse, woman abuse and sexual violence are prevented....remember that women who substance use in pregnancy are not trying to cause harm to their babies, but in most cases are struggling to survive.

There is a section for professionals on our A Safe Passage Website dedicated to talking about coping mechanisms in the childbearing year.
----
A study of 80 mothers who gave birth to 160 children with Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder:

nearly 100% had been seriously sexually, physically and/ or emotionally abused in their lives
80% had a serious mental health issue
80% were with partners who DID NOT want them to stop drinking

Ashley, S.J., Baily, D., Talbot, C. (2000) FAS Primary Prevention through FASD Diagnosis II

Just as what has already been said, you are doing an amazing thing...supporting her with dignity and respect can have lasting impacts on her sense of self---let everyone else judge her---this will not change a thing except to reinforce her self-hate---care for her and perhaps demonstrate that she has worth, that she is important---and you never know.

Cheers,
Jodi

RosyDoula · 01-10-2007, 10:51 PM

Oh this is so sad.

Thanks for the stats Jodi, it really helped me keep in mind what the mother has probably gone through - and keep from judging her. Poor mother, and poor baby...

Jilian · 01-11-2007, 09:45 AM

How sad

I hope the baby is ok. Please let us know how it goes.

doulacpt · 01-15-2007, 06:14 AM

Wow!! thank you all for the support, encouragement, facts and stats! you women are truly amazing. I feel more prepared to go through this birth now. Fortunately I feel a real connection with this mom and we both share a similar sense of humour so conversation so far has been light and humourous, with not much focus on the baby's condition. Which may stand me in good stead for the long road ahead.

Mom is going for a checkup tomorrow as she is seven days PD, so we shall see, so far all we know for sure is that her little boy has a good strong heartbeat.

will keep you all posted,
thanks again!