I'm home - Unprofessional hospital staff & midwife

~Tranquility~Doula · 01-17-2006, 10:48 AM

Actually, I got home around 2am.
I'm a little upset of the actions of the midwife and hospital staff and I'm not sure if I'll ever feel that I can attend births at this particular hospital again. Mom and baby are fine and healthy, though.

The things that upset me were that during pushing mom lost it a little (duh) and because this staff is so not used to natural labor they freaked out really started screaming at her. Telling her to "shut up", "open your legs or your baby is going to be in trouble", etc.... I really didn't feel this is necessary. There were several times that she "lost control" with me and I talked her back down with a firm and caring voice. The midwife (that has a horrible reputation) was equally as bad.

The midwife cut an episiotomy without asking or telling my client first. I didn't even see her with the scissors until she was done. Then when she was sewing her up she told her it would only be 5 minutes and it took forever with my client begging her to stop and asking how much loonger it would take. She would always say, "I'm almost done"...and it took a really long time. She said she cut the episiotomy because she thought the baby was too big and was worried about the shoulders getting stuck because he was moving down slowly-BUT HE WAS MOVING DOWN! He was a bigger baby then her other children by 2 pounds but she was till moving him down.

Anyway, I had to vent about this. Thanks for reading if you got this far!

kelley piasecki · 01-17-2006, 11:07 AM

Oh my, Noelia!!! That's too bad and it's very disturbing to hear that they talked this way to the mother. The poor thing. I'm so glad that you were there.......can you imagine if you weren't??? I bet she was happy that you were there for her, because it sure sounds like she didn't get a whole lot of support from the medical staff.

Hopefully this was just one incident and you can start to feel comfortable enough to do more births at this hospital. Is this midwife close to retirement age??

Big hugs to you and the momma!!

kelley piasecki · 01-17-2006, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My2girlsmama

When I read these stories by you gifted doula mamas I fear I won't be able to hack that when I become one...I may do bodily damage to those *in charge* (and I use that term loosely)

You just have to learn to bite your tongue sometimes. I do, because I don't want to make any waves with the medical staff. I want people to like me and I don't want there to be any riffs or tense moments while the mom's in labor.

~Tranquility~Doula · 01-17-2006, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Hopefully this was just one incident and you can start to feel comfortable enough to do more births at this hospital. Is this midwife close to retirement age??

Unfortunately, this hospital isn't used to natural births because they really encourage epidurals. One nurse actually tried to convince my mom it was so much better with the epidural. I've heard other horror stories about the hospital and this midwife group. Luckily for me, this hospital isn't the only one in the area. There are several that are actually much closer for me and are much nicer supportive of natural labor.

And the midwife isn't close to retirement.

moncton doula · 01-17-2006, 12:24 PM

Ditto on what Kelly said about thank goodness that you were there!! How frustrating it is when things are said or done in such a manner. At least she had someone in the room that believed in her strenght.

tlcdoula · 01-17-2006, 08:16 PM

You know, the reality is things aren't going to change unless the hospital and the staff are exposed to natural births. So, although it is disapointing and disturbing change can come about by exposure to good births.

One thing I think that is important to remember is that this isn't your birth, you didn't choose the healthcare provider - this mother made the choice to trust this woman for her birth. Another thing to remember is that sometimes what we consider to be a bad birth might not be perceived that way by the mother.

~Tranquility~Doula · 01-17-2006, 10:29 PM

Quote:

One thing I think that is important to remember is that this isn't your birth, you didn't choose the healthcare provider - this mother made the choice to trust this woman for her birth. Another thing to remember is that sometimes what we consider to be a bad birth might not be perceived that way by the mother.

This is what I have to keep telling myself. She seems totally fine and happy with everything that happened. I think I'm just upset by it because I know that it could have been better for her.