clashing with medical staff

[WildWest Doula]

This is for all you experienced doulas....
Do you ever clash with medical staff? How do you handle it?

I had a birth last week and shortly after the delivery a new nurse came on staff. She walks in with a total take charge attitue. Tells mom that she shouldn't hold baby in the cross cradle position to nurse and that he needs to latch on now.She was all attitude. The midwife finally had to step in and tell the nurse to back off. mom was very confused about nursing and the nurse only made it worse.

[AMotz]

Quote:

She walks in with a total take charge attitue. Tells mom that she shouldn't hold baby in the cross cradle position to nurse and that he needs to latch on now.She was all attitude. The midwife finally had to step in and tell the nurse to back off. mom was very confused about nursing and the nurse only made it worse.

That is upsetting. I don't understand why some people have to feel superior to others....

[syncreo]

Unfortunately I think it can happen a lot more often that I wish. I mostly try to focus on my client and try to deflect or shield her if I feel there is hositility or atitude coming from the medical staff. Another approach is that I try to be 'extra' nice and build some bridges by asking the nurse a lot of questions or ask for her suggestions - this often works.

I have found it important to try not to let the tension that can exist in the hospital effect me too much. For a while the way some of the Drs treated the nurses in the hospital was eating away at me - it bordered on abuse as far as I was concerned. I know have my own little mantra that I repeat to myself about my role and what I can impact prior to going to the hospital. This seems to have helped me.

It is difficult to experience but it does sometimes come with the territory. We need to find ways to deal with it so that we don't burnout.

[NewMoonDoula]

[CvilleDoula]

I've only had one instance where I clashed with the staff. THere was a nurse who kept telling my client "why bother, you're gonna end up with a c-section anyway".

This made me HOT! You've basically given her no hope of doing this on her own and you're telling her that she should throw in the towel! GRRRRR

At one point, I told this client "lets get you into a squatting position to try and get the baby to decend lower into the birth canal". This same nurse says to me "and what exactly is THAT supposed to do"? I replied with "it will open her pelvis up by up to 2cm. This will allow more room for baby to move down". Then this biotch had the nerve to say "I don't know what they teach you doulas!!".

WTF?

I bit my lip and said nothing as I didn't want her to take out any anger for me on my client, BUT, I did talk to the head coordinator there on the L&D floor and told her what happened. Apparently they filed a complaint against her for her attitude and behavior.

[AmandaB]

I don't understand where the clash would come from? Are you offering conflicting advice to clients while staff is there? I have yet to meet a nurse that doesn't like me. Yes in emergency situations (shoulder distocia ~ both times), I have literally been pushed out of the way, but I understand why.

I provide educational support prior to labour, so that way clients feel empowered and are able to make their own decisions. I will ask questions and I will offer to help, not because I am trying to suck up (I was never even conciously aware) but because that is just the person I am. I also don't go out of my way to tell the staff that I am the doula, let them ask.

[Wendy79]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CvilleDoula At one point, I told this client "lets get you into a squatting position to try and get the baby to decend lower into the birth canal". This same nurse says to me "and what exactly is THAT supposed to do"? I replied with "it will open her pelvis up by up to 2cm. This will allow more room for baby to move down". Then this biotch had the nerve to say "I don't know what they teach you doulas!!".

Too bad you didn't have a pelvis model with you!

[CvilleDoula]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wendy79 Too bad you didn't have a pelvis model with you!

LOL no kidding! I would have LOVED to show her first hand. Heck I could have said "try taking a sh*t laying down in a bed and then try again squatting on the toilet. Which is easier?" Even that may have made her think. lol.

Maybe I should buy a pelvis model to carry with me incase I encounter another person like her.

Thank God the rest of the staff there isn't like that. They're all doula friendly. THey actually LOVE having me there and even bring ME things to eat and drink. It's so nice!

At my last birth, I was in a totally new place an hour and a half away from home. The doctor came in and said "hey you made it. We've been waiting for you". He was VERY friendly. He then told me to take over and do whatever I think is best to get the baby out. I was in shock. He really wanted me to be active in this birth. I wish ALL docs were like that. Not that I wanna take his place of course, I just enjoy them allowing me to do what i'm there for without feeling like im stepping on their toes.

[syncreo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amandoula1980 I don't understand where the clash would come from? Are you offering conflicting advice to clients while staff is there? I have yet to meet a nurse that doesn't like me. .

I don't think it is uncommon to hear of medical staff that either don't like doulas, dont' understand our role or on the other side of things where a doula is unhappy with the information or support a client has received from staff. My experience is mostly positive, particularly with nurses but I don't think it is difficult to understand that clashes happen.

[AmandaB]

Without this becoming a huge debate, where I get my wrist slapped again . I have not had that experience and I am sorry for those who have. I am very polite, I offer to help and I stand behind whatever decision my clients make. I never undermind anyone, argue and say there are plenty of times I bit my tongue until it bled. But in the end we have to remember, it is not our experience, we are not there to fuel the political machine. We are there to support our clients and leave the soapbox at home. And I know that most of us here to exactly that ... support their clients know matter what.

[Babycatcher]

Quote:

Unfortunately I think it can happen a lot more often that I wish. I mostly try to focus on my client and try to deflect or shield her if I feel there is hositility or atitude coming from the medical staff. Another approach is that I try to be 'extra' nice and build some bridges by asking the nurse a lot of questions or ask for her suggestions - this often works.

This is what my doula instructor told us in our class.

I am new here, so can only offer hugs and a "Thank you" for this thread, I think it is very beneficial to have this info ahead of time!!

If I may I would like to offer another question from some of the responses.. (and if this hijacks your thread I will gladly start another)

I am curious, when the medical staff is having a negative impact on the mother, AND your ability to be a good doula and someone she can trust, then don't you have a responsibility to step outside and speak to the nurse in question or a supervisor, if not just to smooth things over? Because if it is having a negative impact on the mother and tarnishing her experience, then shouldn't you advocate for her? Because it has been my experience that sometimes no matter HOW nice you are, some people cannot get over their preconcieved notions and judgemental attitudes..but I do think there is a way to be diplomatic so that everyone works together.

Maybe I am wrong, because I am new so I admit I am still learning..I am hoping that my experiences with the medical staff will be wonderful, but at the same time I recognize that there are a LOT of power trips in the medical community (I worked in a hospital and an OBGYN clinic and dealt with a lot of ego) so I know it is most times a total luck of the draw on whether or not the staff will embrace a doula or roll their eyes at the idea. Esp if they have had a negative experience with one prior to you getting there!

Thank you for letting me comment and ask a question!

[Jilian]

Unfortunately some nurses/OBs/MWs don't like Doulas and will give us attitude. I find that when a staff member is feeling threatened by me in some way I include her in the decision making process by asking what she'd reccomend, etc. It almost always works. It takes away the threat feeling and shows that I am willing to work as a part of the team. Sometimes Doulas get a bad rep as "know it alls" who want to argue with staff, it's good to let the staff members know that you intend to work with them and not against them.

But of course sometimes you have to bite your tongue then come here to complain about it later.

[saffrondoula]

A medical staff person's bad attitude is almost certain to negatively affect mom more than doula, IMO. The doula can look back and decide how to better address the situation next time, but for mom, there might not be a next time, kwim? Shouldn't a doula professionally get a problem person away from mom if that's what she wants or needs?

[syncreo]

It is really up to mom (or her partner) to speak up and ask for a different nurse or care provider. I always let me clients know ahead of time that they are entitled to ask for a different nurse if things aren't clicking and of course to restrict the # of other people in the room. If a nurse or other professional's attitude is effecting my client, I provide an ear for them to vent to, remind them of their rights and again do my best to get the nurse 'on side'.

If we speak for our clients we are taking their 'voices' away and not allowing them to create the birth experience they desire. As parents we are constantly advocating for our children - it is best if mom and dad get practise doing this while pregnant and in labour. As it is said many, many times - their birth, their baby, their experience. Our role is not to speak for them, but to give them the tools to speak for themselves.

I like your question though and I think it is a common one that many of us had when we were starting out.

[heathenmamaof5]

Very well put Shawna!