Hello from Southern Oregon!

Gentlebirthmama · 12-22-2005, 10:20 AM

Hello everyone! I am just now deciding to introduce myself here. I joined a couple months ago.

I live in Southern Oregon, have been married for almost 17 years, homeschool my two boys ages 14 & 10 1/2, have taught Bradley Method classes for over 12 years, trained through ALACE as a doula in 2000, and am a 2nd year midwifery student working towards my CPM.

I haven't done much doula work in the last several years because of family priorities, but do have a client due the end of Jan.
I'm sort of struggling right now with some decisions about what I need to be doing and am feeling overwhelmed. I'm trying to find a balance if possible to staying involved in birth which I feel called to do and yet be able to continue homeschooling and being there for my family.
I'd love to hear how some of you with families make it all work.

Blessings!
Amy <><

Tiffany · 12-22-2005, 10:39 AM

to the board, Amy!! I'm glad you introduced yourself. There are a lot of great informational threads here... and tons of support!

What in particular are you feeling overwhelmed about? Maybe we can help with some suggestions.

Hope to get to know you better!

Gentlebirthmama · 12-23-2005, 10:53 AM

Thanks for the welcome Tiffany! This is a great place you have created for doulas.

I think I begin to feel overwhelmed because of trying to balance taking care of my family and homeschooling my two boys and wanting to be involved in birth...I start looking down the road and allow myself to become worried that I won't be able to give to my family all they need if I'm busy working with pregnant moms too. I worry that all my schooling and training to become a midwife will take so much away from them, yet I feel called to this. I don't know, I realize that most of my fears or frustrations are probably unwarranted, after all it's not like I'm gone everyday like if I were working a 9-5 job, but I worry that one day, 10-20 years from now, I will hear my boys talk about how their mom was more interested in helping other families and just not there for them! Pretty silly, I know. My boys are 10 1/2 and 14 so still fairly young and at times I think I should put off my training for another 5 years, yet at the age of 40 I don't want to wait too long either. My youngest just hates it when I leave to teach a class or attend a day of school or need to have a day to study. I've tried explaining why I'm doing what I do, but he still acts like I'm leaving forever!

I don't know sometimes how to word how I'm feeling...I may just be going thru a slump right now and need a break. I know kids are resilient and will survive, but I really want to do what is best for them, and yet I want to follow my calling too.
Well, I'm mostly rambling...I feel sometimes too like I use this all as an excuse to not step out in faith and just do what I'm meant to do. There's a line from a movie that goes something like this: "Sometimes we need to stop doing what we think we should do and start doing what we were meant to do"...kind of sums it up for me!

Thanks for listening...I look forward to meeting everyone here.
Blessings!
Amy

neworleansdoula · 12-23-2005, 08:59 PM

Amy,

I can TOTALLY understand your situation. I feel the same way and often wonder how everyone else does it. LOL. I've been in the Navy on active duty for 10 years and in April, I'll be leaving so that I can be a stay-at-home mom with my 2 children, ages 6 and 2. My partner has been home with my son since he was four and he's home-schooled.

I wonder how everyone juggles their time between family and school/studying. We're supposed to be moving to Oregon (either Sandy or Portland) next year. The birthing community (from what I've read and hear) is huge there and seems as though there are lots of opportunities. I also would like to attend Birthingway! Working with these women (especially teens and single moms) is a calling for me and I'm not sure how to juggle everything yet.

Like you, my oldest son makes it seem as though two hours of me studying (taking Intro to Midwifery with AAMI) is taking all day away from him. I'm still young (28), but feel as though if I put working with women in the birthing sense off, then I'll fall into a slump which will make it harder for me. So....you aren't alone in this category.

I try to set aside a certain amount of time a week to do what I need to do and often stay up very late at night working on my studies. But, the next day, I'm exhausted. If you have any ideas.....send them my way!

Feel free to PM me if you want to exchange ideas.... LOL!

DL · 12-24-2005, 02:36 PM

Amy!!

Yes, I do recognize your user-name; I'm thrilled that you've decided to officially introduce yourself! I'm so glad to meet you and very thrilled that you've decided to join us.

My name is Lori, and I'm a Certified Labor Doula through CAPPA. Dh and I (we just celebrated our 19th anniversary!) live in Central Ohio and have two teen boys ages 14 and 17. I also homeschool; this year has been a bit easier since I started using Alpha Omega's "Switched On Schoolhouse". My oldest is attending public high school this year, but our 14 year old is still at home. What I really like about "Switched On Schoolhouse" is that it's a computer curriculum that automatically grades much of the work that my son does, cutting out a lot of time & work for me.

I still have to do some teaching, but it is much more of an independent study than ABeka and Bob Jones, which I had been using. I don't have to make lesson plans, either, which I'm thrilled about!

I've only been doula-ing for the past 2 years, and I try to not over-schedule myself. Every now and then, a school day won't happen as planned because I have to attend a birth, but that doesn't happen very often at all. I suppose that if I stretched myself too thin, then I would start to feel like I'm not home enough....but that hasn't been my case so far. Of course, you training to be a midwife does add a lot more onto your plate. I have a close friend who is a CNM and homeschools her 5 kids....well....it's worked out that her dh does most of the homeschooling. That works for them, though, but they'd be the first to tell you that it's NOT easy.

Our lives have "seasons"; sometimes it's time for 'this'....and sometimes it's time for 'that'. Sometimes we can work out 'this and that' at the same time, but at other times we have to prioritize and set goals for the future and focus on one before the other. Only you can know which way it needs to be for you and your family. I pray that you'll be able to discern the Lord's will for you in this area; if you're in His will, then I believe that it'll all work out in God's timing. I'm not saying it will be easy...but quite possible... with some prayer, planning, and more prayer!

Like you, I strongly feel "called" into the childbirth field and really believe that this is what I'm meant to do. What an Awesome Blessing!!!!

Gentlebirthmama · 12-26-2005, 12:05 PM

Thanks for the welcomes.
I think one of the biggest concerns I have right now is homeschooling my boys (which I have no desire not to) and being able to labor assist and do my studies. It's hard for me to rely on my husband since he is ill and doesn't have the energy to do much. I may check out the Switched on Schoolhouse to use with them, but we have always been very relaxed homeschoolers and to use a more structured curriculum is hard for me to think about!

But perhaps this is the season where we need to revamp what we're doing in that area too.

I've also been really tired lately and just feeling a little depressed, and nothing looks very good when you aren't feeling good. I try to take it one day at a time and prayer for direction.
Thanks for the comments. I look forward to hearing from others and finding support here.
Blessings!
Amy

Babies_Bellies_Boobies · 01-13-2006, 12:01 AM

hi amy

to the board, my ds is "unschooled" as well, but we are moving towards a tiny bit more structure, still have to figure out which actula curriculum we'll go with, or bits and pieces of various ones

~l

Kalamazoo Doula · 01-13-2006, 07:53 AM

Hey Amy,
Just wanted to give you an official

!!!!!!!!!!

Luv2bemommy · 01-13-2006, 09:22 AM

Welcome to the group! My name is Candice, I am a married SAHM to 3 kids ages 6.5, 5 and almost 5 months

I am in the process of becoming a doula with DONA.. You will love it here!

teachinmamaof4 · 01-13-2006, 10:35 AM

Hi!

We're also a homeschooling family!

I'm pretty laid back so when it comes time for me to be gone we'll just skip a day. We school year round so it's easy to take time off when we need to.

For you and your dh! Sounds like you all have a lot going on right now.

Gentlebirthmama · 01-13-2006, 12:04 PM

Wow, thank you everyone for the welcome!

I know my original posts probably sounded very depressing

, but I was just really struggling thru the month of Dec. After taking some time to prayer and think through things I feel most certain that I need to step out in faith with my midwifery training. I believe that I've allowed fear and insecurities to keep me from moving forward.
I still find it hard to figure out how to balance family and births

but I also know that many women do.

I look forward to getting to know you all better and utilizing this forum...it is wonderful!

Blessings!
Amy

Tashina Marker · 01-14-2006, 12:49 AM

Helloooooo Amy!
& WELCOME to the board!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you will enjoy it as much as me.I'll be

'in for you.

Need2read · 01-14-2006, 11:52 AM

I know this isn't really on topic but I had a question about homeschooling and your partners...

I think most of you know I am pretty young but I have talked to my current partner about my thoughts on pretty much everything regarding birth, my preferences, etc. Were your husbands really pro-homeschooling or was it more of a, if you want to do it honey it sounds fine to me, kind of thing? I would really like to homeschool, along with be a doula, midwife, CBE, etc in the future, haha. *I don't even know where I will find time to have children!* My partner doesn't really have a stance on anything and I wonder if that is just because we are young and do not have children yet that he hasn't really got into the mindset of "this would be best for my child to ________"

I am having a hard time dealing with certain things like that (his stance on circ for example..., and a few other things). I just wonder if that is something that you ladies have found has changed in your own partners as you grew as individuals, partners, and as parents?

*sorry if this doesn't belong here, tiffany!*

Gentlebirthmama · 01-14-2006, 04:10 PM

Cortney,
I wouldn't say my husband was gung-ho about homeschooling at the start...
he questioned it because he didn't really know about it. But I decided when our oldest was about 3 that I wanted to homeschool and my husband more or less said okay. So I did lots and lots of research for the next couple years before we formally began homeschooling and by then he was okay with it and had himself learned enough about it to realize that it was a good thing. The thing that finally convinced him was when at 7 our oldest took his first aptitude test (required yearly in WA state once they turn 7) and he was in the highest percentile for every subject. He bragged to everyone how smart our son was!

Anyway, just use this time to educate yourself and your partner, and then be open to other options once you have children. As a midwife I know it is possible because I know many midwives that homeschool while having an active practice. I think it's important though that your partner is behind you 100% on your decision to homeschool while practicing as a midwife because there will probably be times will he will have to step up to the plate and take over.

Just my

! Hope that helps some

DL · 01-14-2006, 10:39 PM

Cortney,

My experience was a lot like Amy's with the homeschooling issue. Dh was fine with it, as it was going to be me to do the majority of it (this was before my doula days and I was already a SAHM, while dh works full-time out of the house). Once we started researching it, learning of the myriad ways one can homeschool, dh was coming around nicely. Then...once we actually started the boys' schooling and was able to compare what they were doing with what my kids' friends were doing at the local school, he was convinced that we had made the right choice for us. One other plus in BOTH of our eyes....at the time, dh had to travel A LOT for business; we bought a motorhome and traveled with him quite a few times in order to keep the family together. We just packed the school books and had some really good field trips!

It's good that you're thinking ahead, IMO. Homeschooling isn't for everyone...parent or child (and it's tyically not easy, at least with my kids!), but it can be very rewarding if you find it right for you and your family.