Postpartum Doulas: What do/don't you do?

everydaymiracles · 06-16-2006, 04:45 PM

Hello to the postpartum doulas on the site (and for those who are like me (well before I started working with PP clients

)and will read all the posts anyway!)

Was just thinking the other day about what I will or won't do as a PP doula. I think it was Aussiedoula

who had an experience with a client expecting her to clean her house for her. I had my client ask me if I could possibly mix up some batter bread (very simple recipe) and as I love to bake, really didn't mind. She was really hesitant as she wasn't wanting to overstep boundries - I really appreciated that. I had another client (before I had attended my training) who asked me to take her 2 yo to the park while the baby slept so she could complete an online course - was mostly doing sibling care and was at the end of our 6 week contract but it didn't feel 'right' kwim? Don't think I would have done it if it would be a regular thing - she needed a babysitter then not a doula!

Do you limit what you do to baby specific or babycare only? If you are helping with laundry, do you do mum and dads also?

If mum has an appointment (dr or chiro, etc) do you go with her to entertain baby or stay at the house alone with the baby?

Anyway - am rambling - just wondered what you all thought/did R

fearlessbirth · 06-16-2006, 05:00 PM

Robyn, As an aspiring ppdoula I thought your questions were great. I was kind of under the impression that a ppdoula took care of the mother so she could take care of her baby. Meaning if dishes needed washing, older child entertained, a meal cooked that's what I would do. And the advantage of having a ppdoula instead of a babysitter/maid is that the ppdoula is educated on the special needs of a new mom with baby care, breastfeeding, etc and can help her be the best mom she can...even if we are 'reduced' to cooking and cleaning. That said, I can where the issues come in...because if I wanted to be a nanny or maid, that's what I'd be doing. Lol For me, I think the line is pretty blurry. That's why I'm looking forward to my training so I know exactly what is and isn't expected of me. Also, if someone wants to pay me $25/hr to play on the swing set with their older child, that's fine too! Lol

Anyway, I am interested to know how this really works. I am hoping to at least be trained so when we move to a new city in December I can have a variety of services to offer with my business and desperately HOPE I won't have to have another crappy job to supplement my income. Lol

Matrescence · 06-16-2006, 06:59 PM

This came up a lot at our training, I really don't know yet what I will or won't do but I can guess I suppose

I don't think I would be comfortable taking a clients child anywhere unless it was for a walk or outside to play, I could just see the liability of them in my car or if something happened while we were away. I would prefer to accompany mom to appointments and watch the baby in the waiting area, especially if she's nursing. I'm fine washing, drying and folding clothes but would prefer not to iron or have to hang or put away clothes... that's just kind of how I saw it in my head but then you never know when it comes down to it

1stimestar · 06-16-2006, 10:39 PM

Heh, that's why I don't do PP work. It's too much like housework and childcare and I have enough of my own of that to do. Good luck.

fearlessbirth · 06-16-2006, 10:42 PM

Lol To be honest I probably wouldn't be too interested in doing it either but I really want to make a living in the birthing community and not just take doula clients and eat PB&J forever. Lol I think it would be fun.

AussieDoula · 06-16-2006, 10:56 PM

Just to quickly clear up, I always do some light cleaning, but the mentioned situation was a woman whose house was literally piled up with trash almost to the windowsills

... I'm not talking idle junk that you collect, I mean real trash. Opened and discarded food containers, crumpled paper, even some food scraps... I felt really bad for her and was genuinely surprised and felt a little guilty because she had honestly thought I was going to clean it for her!
During my initial consultation with a mama, I go over what I do and don't do, and everything is listed in detail on the contract she signs with me.
Postpartum work can be extremely fulfilling for some of us, I love what I do.
My job isn't to take over the mama's parenting role, it's to teach her how to do everything herself and help with the rest of the household. I don't use a hands-on approach when it comes to the newborn (except when mama is sleeping), because it is VERY important to teach her to be able to take care of her own baby. I am only there for a few weeks/months, she will be a mother for the rest of her life. To help her, she needs to do everything herself, guided only by my vocal instruction and encouragement.
Anyways, my head is fluffy and I am tired, so I don't know if I am making sense and I kinda forgot what it was that I was trying to say, haha!

Sorry...
I'm sure I'll make a better point after a full nights sleep.

1stimestar · 06-17-2006, 01:12 AM

Hahaha get some sleep hon. I think we all know that fuzzy brain feeling. Blech.

Matrescence · 06-17-2006, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AussieDoula

Just to quickly clear up, I always do some light cleaning, but the mentioned situation was a woman whose house was literally piled up with trash almost to the windowsills

... I'm not talking idle junk that you collect, I mean real trash. Opened and discarded food containers, crumpled paper, even some food scraps... I felt really bad for her and was genuinely surprised and felt a little guilty because she had honestly thought I was going to clean it for her!

Yikes, that's so sad

Matrescence · 06-17-2006, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1stimestar

Hahaha get some sleep hon. I think we all know that fuzzy brain feeling. Blech.

Ditto that

PostDoula · 06-17-2006, 05:21 PM

I find that the specific tasks I do vary widely from one family to another. For example, if it's the first baby vs. the third baby, or how much help they have besides me (relatives, housecleaning service, etc.)
I do give all my clients a "Scope of Practice" for Postpartum Doulas. This includes that I NEVER drive clients or their children, don't do heavy cleaning or cooking, etc. and other specifics.
With those parameters established in the beginning, I try to do what I feel would help the mom/family the most. I always start with the Mom's needs, then the baby/children's needs, and the house comes last. I typically do dishes, laundry (baby's first, but also the rest of the family's) because I try to accomplish as much as I can while I'm there, and these tasks are easy to start and stop or do around caring for the mom/baby, etc.
With families who have older children, I do often spend time entertaining or feeding them. I have, on occasion, taken them to nearby parks. But, I NEVER do more than I feel comfortable doing, and I don't think any other Doula should. If I'm asked to do something I don't want/can't do, I simply say, "I'm sorry, but that's beyond my scope of practice." And, hopefully, offer some alternative way that I may help.
I've had one client who thought I was her maid. (She did know the difference between a maid and a doula, she was just manipulative in her approach.) Since I knew it wasn't a lack of knowledge, I simply disregarded the additional requests. Fortunately, this is extremely RARE in my experience.
The beauty of being a Postpartum Doula is that there YOU establish your own parameters. You don't have to clean or cook. I choose to do these things, and feel that when I do, it makes it easier for the families to focus on their babies and recovery.
Finally, I often stay with the babies while the moms run arronds, etc. If there is an appointment, I let the mom choose if she'd rather have me tag along or stay with the baby. Again, each family is different, and I feel it's important that each Doula determines her own comfort zone.
Great Thread--so relevant and critical in Postpartum work!!!!

tlcdoula · 06-17-2006, 06:03 PM

I think it really depends on the "feel" for what is happening and the "whole" picture. I think for me all things are negotiable, but again it depends. Is mama asking too much? Is she ignoring her responsibilities as a mother or does she truly need the help? For example, I worked with a mother well over a year ago who had severe postpartum depression - for her I did all baby care, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, etc. In her case I was there to watch over mom and make sure everything was okay and that both her and baby survived until she could see her psychiatrist. It was draining work, but thankfully only lasted a few days. Now would I do everything for a normal client? No because it isn't my baby, but in this mother's case she was on suicide watch and watch so that she wouldn't harm her baby (dumb psychiatrist cancelled moms appointment and she had to wait three days to see him because he didn't believe she was that bad - had she gone to he hospital they would have not let her nurse her baby, so the family hired me to sit with mama and watch her and keep both her and baby safe).

So, for me it depends on what the family is asking and how it feels in the moment. Some might not think that is fair, but I think every new mother has different needs.

1stimestar · 06-17-2006, 07:49 PM

So when you tag along with mom to her appointments or errends do you just ride with her? That would freak me out. LOL. They could ride with ME, but I don't ride well with unknown drivers. Call it a touch of phobia.

AussieDoula · 06-17-2006, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1stimestar

So when you tag along with mom to her appointments or errends do you just ride with her? That would freak me out. LOL. They could ride with ME, but I don't ride well with unknown drivers. Call it a touch of phobia.

I either go with mama to her appointments or stay at her home to clean while she takes the baby (and any other children) with her. I often run errands for my clients, and take care of them before or after going to their home for the day, but sometimes we will all go together (generally in separate cars, but a couple times we have all gone in my vehicle - ie mama had a c-section or wasn't allowed to drive anywhere herself).
I have great insurance, I am a cautious/responsible driver (although this by no means protects me from other drivers on the road), but mostly because I have control/trust issues about anyone else driving, LOL!

From a liability standpoint, I prefer to run errands on my own.

PostDoula · 06-17-2006, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1stimestar

So when you tag along with mom to her appointments or errends do you just ride with her? That would freak me out. LOL. They could ride with ME, but I don't ride well with unknown drivers. Call it a touch of phobia.

This hasn't actually come up too often, but I have riden along in the car. New parents are usually very conscientious with the baby in the car...If I didn't feel comfortable or safe, I would simply say that I need to take my own car for liability reasons, or any other reason.
Often the best thing I can do for my clients is to be a calming, peaceful presence. So, I try to maintain a very calm state of mind by not doing anything that makes me uncomfortable...(If I felt as you about riding in cars, I wouldn't do it. For me, it's more like cooking a pork chop that freaks me out!)

And Michelle, I agree completely--each mom's needs are different and it's important to be fluid and flexible. Even with the same mom--what I do for her in the first week or two postpartum could vary greatly from what I do at ten weeks postpartum!

tlcdoula · 06-17-2006, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1stimestar

So when you tag along with mom to her appointments or errends do you just ride with her? That would freak me out. LOL. They could ride with ME, but I don't ride well with unknown drivers. Call it a touch of phobia.

I would never drive a client anywhere. There is way too much liability in the event of an accident. If you are uncomfortable driving with a client then I would let them know that you will follow them or meet them there, but I would NEVER drive a client. Plus if you even remotely think about driving a client you will want to discuss this with your automobile insurance company because most will not cover you if you are paid or compensated in anyway and get in an accident.