shadowing/apprenticing?

Need2read · 10-04-2005, 02:42 PM

I was wondering how this works with Doula's. Currently I am working on my cert. for both birth and postpartum and I find myself feeling a bit lonely here in Seattle. I know there are doula's and midwives around but how do I go about meeting & finding them. I would like to begin working with another doula, even just on an observe only basis until I attend my Doula traning in December but I just feel sort of...at a loss.

My fiance and I just moved here from California so as it is I already feel a bit lonely considering I haven't really made any friends yet. I am just very eager to meet like-minded women, but I suppose I do not really know where to begin?

And I would also like to know how to then bring up the idea of apprenticing/shadowing?

Thanks for listening.

tlcdoula · 10-04-2005, 03:35 PM

I cannot speak for everyone, but I do know that many doulas struggle with the whole shadowing thing for many reasons. The first and most important, especially when we are talking about birth is that many mothers do not want someone there only watching. That can make them very uncomfortable.

Now as far as why I would NEVER allow someone to shadow me - it really is because I have been burnt on it. I had a woman who wanted to shadow me and hounded me for a long time. I finally gave in and got permission from the mother (this was for birth) and then when I called her for the birth she gave every excuse on why she couldn't attend the birth. I had to then tell the mother (who was counting on two doulas) that the other doula couldn't come. I looked like a jerk and felt bad for the mother. This woman again begged and begged for another chance and she did it to me again.

Another woman kept asking me for referrals for free births and when I matched her up (twice) and then both times she bailed on the mom at the last minute.

Because of both of these experiences I will not help out another woman unless I see her committment and dedication first hand and her trying on her own for some time. I know that sound horrible, but that has been the experience that I have known many doulas to have. It is sad that a few ruin it for those who are serious.

~Tranquility~Doula · 10-04-2005, 05:14 PM

You could contact PALS in Seattle. http://www.pals-doulas.org/
They even have an Apprenticeship Program http://www.pals-doulas.org/pathways.htm

Babies_Bellies_Boobies · 10-05-2005, 12:38 AM

you also might want to try the "finding your tribe" section at www.mothering.com

Bree · 10-07-2005, 10:08 AM

I am an apprentice for a childbirth educator (I am enrolled in ICEA's CBE course). I have sat in on her classes since Feb 2005 and am now Co-teaching with her. It is a great learning experience & I am very greatful to her for all her wisdom. But as for my work as a Doula, I do that on my own. I have gotten my name around with business cards & by listing my info on websites for doulas. You really don't need to "shadow" other doulas to learn what techniques to use. I have gotten my info from other Doulas online & also by my extensive reading on the subject. I've come in contact with other educators that are also labor coaches and no I work as back-up for 2 of them and they do the same for me.
If I were you I'd check out that info Tranquility Doula posted! Not all areas have such programs, so take advantage of them!
Good luck!

tlcdoula · 10-07-2005, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My2girlsmama

That sucks for you, but I really hope not every doula gives up on the rest of us needing support and to shadow. Wow.

You know, it isn't that I have given up on them, but instead they now need to prove to me that they truly want to be a doula. Before I would meet women who would say "oh that sounds like a great job, blah, blah, blah" and they truly didn't understand what it means to be a doula. They don't realize that it means being on call (I am talking about labor doulas now) for 24 hours a day for two weeks before and two weeks after an expected due date. They do not realize that if your child has a program at school - well, you might just miss it. They do not realize that they cannot plan a weekend excursion with their spouse when they have a client due, because you just can't do that. They don't realize that you can't plan an overnight romantic hotel stay unless you are willing to leave and telling someone that it was "paid for already" doesn't change the fact that a client is due.

I know I sound harsh, but I truly am not. I think if someone wants to be a doula they will put forth some effort on their own. As a labor doula trainer, I have had several women take my trainings who after they finish they will call me and want me to "find" them moms who they can work with. Unfortunately that isn't my job and clients don't usually fall into your lap - they need to work to build their business.

So the key thing to remember is that I haven't given up on anyone. All I said is that I will NEVER take on another apprentice unless I see a true committment to her profession and see someone who is working towards learning (more than just reading her books and attending a training) and someone who has the committment to do whatever it takes to shadow me.

I know many, many doula trainers and experienced doulas who have had the same experiences as me, and although it is sad the reality is people come into this profession and so many leave just as quickly as they came in. I know of one woman who decided to be a doula because she thought "oh easy money." She found out that it isn't always easy and after her first birth she quit. Another woman I know of went to a birth, got sick and said she would never do it again. In the case of this woman, thankfully she found out the profession didn't fit her before she took a training and when she was with a relative!

As far as open minds and happy thoughts - just because I do not feel positive about taking on someone who is completely new with no experience who hasn't shown me her committment doesn't mean I am not a person with an open mind or a person with happy thoughts. I am very positive, and if I see a committment from a woman I am very, very excited to take her on.

All I know is many of us have been burnt and hopefully once you are more experienced you will not be burnt on a situation where someone comes to you enthusiastic asking to shadow you and then not show up. I am sure in time you will also say that you will only take on someone with a true committment and you will look for this is someone who wants to work with you.

tlcdoula · 10-07-2005, 12:32 PM

Another thing I forgot to say was that when I was taking my training my trainers said that they do not take on women as shadows because every woman has her own techniques and ways of doing things. Although we all kind of share the tricks of the trade and can share that information if one shadows another they tend to take on that person's methods completely instead of finding their own and what works for them. The nice thing about this profession is that we can do it in a manner that makes us most comfortable and by not having every doula the exact same it gives parents the option to choose from different styles and ways of doing things.

MIA-D · 10-07-2005, 12:48 PM

I am looking forward to the day that I have enough experience that I can help a fellow aspiring doula out. Right now though finding births on my own is hard enough. This town just isn't ready for the doula experience. I keep my fingers crossed though.

Need2read · 10-15-2005, 02:46 PM

thanks for all your input! I really appreciate the advice.

Matrescence · 05-23-2006, 08:41 PM

Noelia's idea of contacting PALS is a good one. We have a local doula group here with about 27 members (birth and pp), it's nice to have such a wide range of women who are experienced for the newer ones to work with. I'm hoping to shadow as a pp doula soon to get a better idea of how it works. I didn't get that opportunity as a birth doula though and did fine, I do think it would have helped me feel more secure in the beginning, but that feeling came with time.

neworleansdoula · 05-24-2006, 04:13 PM

I haven't said too much about this idea yet, but since the post came back up and I've already talked with Tiffany, I'm going to introduce it. I think this post is really interesting and sometimes it really is a struggle for student doulas to find their first few births.

Many of us are lucky enough to team up with an educator or support person at a hospital or birthing center who will give our names out as referrals. But, that isn't always the case. Sometimes, student doulas are truly out on their own trying to find support and clients.

Okay, now for my goofy idea, I have created a network (okay, so I'm still working on it) where student doulas and experienced doulas can come together. Student doulas who are looking for "mentors" can post a request and experienced doulas who are willing to be "mentors" can also post. I'm still working out the kinks in this....creating the datebase and so forth, but it's coming.

Reading Michelle's posts made me stop and think if I need to incorporate some sort of "training" where mentor doulas will know that student doulas who post are serious about their apprenticeships. I'm not sure and I'll have to do some research. I liked Michelle's posts, though. I couldn't imagine being a doula and your apprentice just backs out of it. That would leave me feeling very uncertain about taking on someone else who just seems interested without showing some sort of dedication to the profession first....even if it is something simple like reading a book or writing a short paper about why you want to be a doula and what your plans are for obtaining certification. (Just throwing ideas out....)

I'd like to know your thoughts if something like this interests you. Do you think having a database like this will be helpful? What information would you like to see on here?
For more experienced doulas who would be willing to take on an apprentice - what sort of things would prove to you that a student doula is serious about this profession and not just "looking" to see a birth?

I actually just reprinted an article in my newsletter that was from the spring 2003 issue of International Doula, called Mentoring New Doulas. Once I upload the link to the site, I'll post it on here.

MIA-D · 05-24-2006, 05:04 PM

On the subject of meeting "like minded people" - have any of you run into fellow doulas that just do not want to share anything with you? Births, clients, stories, marketing ideas? I live in a town where the CBE for the hospital are mostly doulas and therefore those of us doulas on the outside struggle with getting clients. They will not let us put our information in their classes or come be a guest speaker. A couple of us started out wanting to share information with them but they took our ideas and used them but did not share. (wow I sound like a 2-year-old). Anyone else have problems with this?

DL · 05-24-2006, 08:02 PM

Since this thread has been started up again, you all might also be interested in viewing this one, also about shadowing/mentoring:

Another just wondering...

Btw, Heidi..... I really like your networking idea!

I will have to give it some thought as far as what a mentor would look for to show commitment from the apprentice/shadow. While I'm thinking, I'll be curious as to what any of the others have to say!

Matrescence · 05-24-2006, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wingedheartdoula

On the subject of meeting "like minded people" - have any of you run into fellow doulas that just do not want to share anything with you? Births, clients, stories, marketing ideas? I live in a town where the CBE for the hospital are mostly doulas and therefore those of us doulas on the outside struggle with getting clients. They will not let us put our information in their classes or come be a guest speaker. A couple of us started out wanting to share information with them but they took our ideas and used them but did not share. (wow I sound like a 2-year-old). Anyone else have problems with this?

Yes! And some problems with the opposite, doulas who want to copy everything, I love sharing but I had one ask for *all* of my materials to use and one a while back who copied my website design and brochure

Luckily most of the doulas around here are wonderful and I think the few that are this way are wonderful too they're just not sure of themselves and feel the need to copy someone else's work or they are concerned about competition which is hard until they realize it's really a partnership.

tlcdoula · 05-24-2006, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wingedheartdoula

On the subject of meeting "like minded people" - have any of you run into fellow doulas that just do not want to share anything with you? Births, clients, stories, marketing ideas? I live in a town where the CBE for the hospital are mostly doulas and therefore those of us doulas on the outside struggle with getting clients. They will not let us put our information in their classes or come be a guest speaker. A couple of us started out wanting to share information with them but they took our ideas and used them but did not share. (wow I sound like a 2-year-old). Anyone else have problems with this?

Not in my area - in fact we have an excellent support network and we meet monthly and know each other and talk birth all the time.

Now hospital childbirth educators is another story and nope they typically do not have anything to do with us, but then again they aren't doulas so I don't think that really counts