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Old 06-25-2009, 12:00 AM   #1
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reasons why you stay home to birth your baby

by popular request, fire away!

1. no one will pour johnson's baby shampoo in my vagina (or any other shampoo for that matter).
2. no one will tell me to "assume the position" so that they are most comfortable when i push my baby out.
3. no one will give me an extra stitch just special for my husband.
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Old 06-25-2009, 12:07 AM   #2
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4. No one will reach into my uterus to feel my cesarean scar
5. No one will tell me I can't sit on a birth ball because the babies head will bounce out of my pelvis.
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Old 06-25-2009, 12:22 AM   #3
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6. No one will try to induce me at an 8 AFI for low fluid or a 12 for too much fluid.
7. No one will force me to engage in ritual food and water fasting
8. No one will take my baby away from me and put him in a box to test him, clean him, and anoint him with gels, ink, plastic bracelets, heart-shapes stickers, a hat and thick blankets.
9. No one sticks their fingers inside my vagina
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Old 06-25-2009, 12:57 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doulafava View Post
6. No one will try to induce me at an 8 AFI for low fluid or a 12 for too much fluid.
7. No one will force me to engage in ritual food and water fasting
8. No one will take my baby away from me and put him in a box to test him, clean him, and anoint him with gels, ink, plastic bracelets, heart-shapes stickers, a hat and thick blankets.
9. No one sticks their fingers inside my vagina
Ok, if were gonna get serious bout this (I hope the sarcasm was obvious in my first post)

10. I wont be given pitocin because my labor is too slow
11. I wont be induced because I am past my EDD at 40 weeks, 1 day
12. I wont be asked to repeatedly hold my breath and push to a count of 10
13. I will be an active participant in decisions about my body and my baby
14. I will be allowed to change positions freely
15. I can keep my placenta attached to my baby as long as I wish
16. I can labor nude or in my own clothes. the choice will be mine
17. I can deliver my baby in water, in a bed, on the couch, on the deck, on the grass, or wherever, it's my choice.
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Old 06-25-2009, 01:27 AM   #5
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18. I don't ever, EVER have to yell, "I do not consent!"
19. My husband feels ever so much more comfortable supporting me in our bedroom than the hospital. He's great in there.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:01 AM   #6
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I trust my midwife with my life. OBs, not so much.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:05 AM   #7
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21. No one will pull on my placenta to "encourage" it out.

22. No one will whisk my baby away to the NICU for "observation" at the first signs of imaginary retractions.

23. I will invite my birth team as guests into MY home, rather than having to trek to someone else's turf (physically and psychologically).

24. I am likely to be respected in all my wishes, rather than having to spend my birthing experience "advocating".
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:33 AM   #8
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25. I don't have to write a birth plan

26. I don't have to pack my bag.

27. I can make all the noise I want

28. I never have to wear a fetal monitor belt
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:37 AM   #9
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* No one will ever tell me I can't sit on the toilet cause it's hard to get laboring women off of it.

* I will never be told not to squat for fear the baby just might fall out.

* I will never be told I need a cesarean section because it's getting close to shift change.

* I will not be told that I need to be at the hospital and on antibitotics because I'm GBS positive.

* I will not be verbally or physically assaulted by my care provider.

* I will not have my birth wishes completely disregarded by the people attending my birth.

* I will not be continually monitored because apparently if you take that belt off, the babies heart actually stops beating...
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:43 AM   #10
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Quote:
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* I will not be continually monitored because apparently if you take that belt off, the babies heart actually stops beating...
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:25 AM   #11
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I love this!
I think you have pretty much covered it!!!

*My children stay with me, if I want them there, and get to learn the second part of 'where a baby comes from'!
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:26 AM   #12
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*no one will tell me that the baby just fits better under the pubic bone if I am on my back (using a diving motion with the hand).

*I won't have to go through transition labor in the car on the way to the hospital

*I won't have night sweats for 3 solid days as my body expells all of the extra fluids that were apparently so important during labor.

*my midwife and doula will tidy up before they leave and my husband will not be at home alone with my older children long enough to trash the house
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:19 AM   #13
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ummm, because I wasn't sick and hospitals are for sick people..
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:35 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MothertheMother View Post
*I won't have to go through transition labor in the car on the way to the hospital


Except it was pushing.
NEVER AGAIN!

Quote:
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ummm, because I wasn't sick and hospitals are for sick people..
My sentiment EXACTLY!
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Old 06-25-2009, 11:31 AM   #15
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* the baby won't be taken to be weighed immediately because we wouldn't want to get the "wrong" weight by breastfeeding first
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