What has been your proudest doula moment?

DoulaYvonne · 07-09-2007, 03:06 PM

Tell us about a time or experience that has really made you feel good about your doula calling?

Was it a particularly wonderful birth?
When you finished your coursework for certification?
Networking with colleagues?
Something else?

DL · 07-09-2007, 03:14 PM

Hmmmm... I'll have to think on this some, but one particular birth does pop into my mind immediately. I supported a couple who had a wonderful, no-interventions hospital birth. This was her third baby and first natural birth after having two early epidurals with the first two. When that baby was handed to her (she did help to bring her up and onto her chest) for the first time, she looked up at me and said, "We did it!" (talking about her, her dh, and I). I looked at her and smiled and said, "No, honey...YOU did it!". She couldn't have been more proud of herself, which in turn made me so proud to have been her doula and helped her to achieve her dream of finally getting that natural birth.

I was on

for a LONG time after that birth!

MIA-D · 07-09-2007, 04:13 PM

So far it has been the client that was a doctor - this was her second birth. her first birth was one of those with every intervention that she could have she did. her husband said he didn't think she could have any more wires stuck out of her than she did. This time she did it completely natural, no induction, no medication, just worked with her hubby and myself to ride it out. She said it was so amazing knowing that she could do that. She even got the docs in the office she works in to put my brochures in the OB packs they hand out - so I think I proved something there. It was amazing!

Heather

Lindsay · 07-10-2007, 03:47 AM

It was my VBA2C client. After a day of early, baby-positioning type labor, they sent me home to rest, and called the next morning to say they'd gone to the hospital--she wanted sleep and had gotten an epidural, and she felt a little shy at my knowing how different this was from what she initially planned.

Proud moment #1: Even though she made choices I probably wouldn't have for myself, I was able to shut up and focus on just supporting and encouraging her (I wasn't sure of my ability to do so before this), and 'not my baby, not my birth' became real for me at that point.

She was pushing, saying she couldn't do it, and she just wanted it to be over. Her OB and I both knew she could (heck, she was doing it), but he offered the use of forceps if she felt she was getting too tired, but never once threatened c-section. She looked at me--the conflict between "I want this to be over" and "But I don't really want forceps either" playing out clearly on her face. Her OB said, "You don't have to decide right now." I took her hand and said, "You know? You're doing an amazing job. Would you like to try 3 more contractions, and then see how you feel about them?" She nodded, and pushed once with her next contraction. The OB said, "This is the point where if I'd used forceps, I'd take them off. You can't have a c-section now. You're going to have to push him out."

She'd been losing heart a little before that--not wanting to emotionally commit to a vaginal birth if there was any chance it wouldn't happen. But hearing that made her light up, and her beautiful little (okay, 9lbs) boy was born a few minutes later.

I felt like I'd helped her get what she wanted, and she said immediately afterwards she couldn't have done it without me. She could have, too, but wow, was I proud hearing that.

Kacy · 07-10-2007, 10:01 AM

Going to my first interview and not vomiting on the poor, sweet couple.

No, seriously.

LatinDoula · 07-10-2007, 10:07 AM

Same as Kacy, I haven't attended a birth yet, but i did have my first interview! When it ended I felt "real".

Karen

DoulaYvonne · 07-10-2007, 04:16 PM

For me, it was after my first client's birth. I was on such a high, reliving every moment, trying to remember what happened at what time so that I could write down the timeline when I arrived home. I walked in the door of my house really exhausted, but my dd had made a congratulatory card for me and my dh had gone out and bought me a big bouquet of flowers! It was just what i needed to feel like I had made a difference and really accomplished something wonderful!

fearlessbirth · 07-10-2007, 04:52 PM

I have a few that really stand out for me...

The first was my first client and one of my BFs who had a homebirth. We learned so much together during her pregnancy and so looked forward to us both having our first homebirth. When it was over, I was so excited and so proud of her for getting the exact birth she wanted. Granted, I'm sure she would say she could have done without the 'excrutiating, tortuous' pain

but 16 months later she's ready to do it all again!

The next is I had a client who really wanted to go unmedicated in the hospital but at the end allowed her doc to induce her (for non-medical reasons). I was disappointed (even though I shouldn't have been...I armed her with all the pros/cons and she made her own choice). She did end up with a c-section but it didn't come easily for the doc. She really gave him a run for his money when he was suggesting it WAY early on in labor. She knew he was just trying to rush things and use scare tactics. Although she did eventually cave in to his pressuring, she really knew her stuff and delayed making a decision for hours.

The third was my last couple that delivered almost a year ago. We had a great relationship prenatally, and while she wasn't against going unmedicated, she wasn't set on the idea either. I had learned a lot from previous clients about how to counsel moms who are approaching their due date and getting anxious (tired of being pregnant, worried about pressure from doc to induce)...I told them to enjoy their last few nights together. Relax, go out on dates, don't pay attention to the calendar. The very next morning mom called and her water broke! She said the advice on relaxing was the best thing I could have said

. Sometimes it's odd to me when people don't think of these things on their own. Lol They were great in labor...slow danced, did nipple stim, walked the halls, stairs. They were totally receptive to all of my suggestions and many of the things actually worked! (I know I can't take credit for things 'working' but it was exciting that I was able to put my knowledge to use and have something to show for it)

missilla · 07-10-2007, 04:56 PM

Mine would be my very first birth where i decided that this is what i would do with the rest of my life!!!

and then to have her as a repeat!!!

UtahDoula · 07-10-2007, 04:57 PM

I can think of two, oddly both were with the same woman.
The first was when the mom told me AFTER the birth that she wasn't really sure about natural childbirth or breastfeeding, right up until labor began, but that I helped her have the confidence to give both a try and she did both very well and was really proud of herself. I really felt like I made a difference.
The second was when this same woman became my first repeat client. She called me up at 7 am and said "I just took the test and it's positive! Will you be my doula? You're not already booked, are you? Oh, and don't tell my mom or my sisters - we aren't going to announce it yet." LOL, I only met her mom & sisters at the birth and they live out of state, I don't know how I could have told them. But her hiring me as a repeat was a huge confidence boost. She was STILL nursing her first baby and was doing so well as a mother. In our prenatal for the second birth, she said that she learned during her first birth to listen to her instincts, and that it had served her well as a mom, too.

DoulaCBE · 07-10-2007, 06:26 PM

A few months ago I received a call and the woman started our conversation with "I think you were my doula and I think that I never paid you what I owed you."

I scratched my head and said "Well, so far I've never had anyone not pay me what we've contracted for, so I'm not sure who you're looking for but I don't think I'm her."

She gave me some more details about her birth and then her name and it all clicked.

She had contacted me 3 years ago and explained her financial situation and I agreed to reduce my fee to just $100 and she paid me $25 at our prenatal visit.

She had a beautiful a quick labor with her third child and I decided at the birth I would waive the rest of my fee, but I didn't want to discuss money at a birth so I decided to tell her at our postpartum visit.

A week after her birth I tried to call her and her phone was disconnected and after trying alternate methods to get ahold of her, just let it go. It had always bugged me that I never got to follow up with her and officially close our relationship.

She explained that they ended up moving from AZ to NY with a 2 week old baby because her husband lost her job right after the birth and found a new one and they had to GO and GO now!

She then told me how much it meant to her that I took her out. She then disclosed that had I not agreed to take her on the local birth center would have been unable to allow her to birth at the center because there needs to be another adult present with the woman when she's laboring and her husband had to care for the older children during labor.

She then goes on to tell me that while she loves her husband and while their marriage was a special day, she tells everyone that her birth with me was better than the wedding!!!

I told her that I had never intended to collect the balance, my gut told me to let it go and the initial payment she made really covered my expenses of a tank of gas (back then) and the printing cost of my prenatal packet.

The good news is that she's likely moving back to our area and she's very much into the community that chooses doulas and she wanted my permission to sing my praises and refer women to me.

I hung up the phone that day more proud and happy that I had been in YEARS! It's not about medicated vs unmedicated or vaginal vs cesarean, it's about making a positive impact in a woman's life and here was proof that I had succeeded.

DoulaCBE · 07-10-2007, 06:32 PM

ok, one more.

I'd been a doula for the same couple twice. Both births being pretty natural, the first required some pit, the second was wonderful, fast and she had no interventions other than an initial strip at admission.

She called me when she found out she was pregnant with her third and wanted to hire me and we went out to lunch to just chat and touch base.

I hadn't heard from her in a few months so I called her to check in but she wasn't home, so I left a message.

She finally called me back and admitted to dragging her heels because she didn't want to upset me. . .

She was planning a home birth this time around and she'd been having dreams and visions of the birth and I wasnt there.

After more introspection she realized that she didn't need me anymore.

While she thought that it might hurt my feelings she really gave me a true honor. Not needing me confirmed that I had given her all she needed to find the power to birth with confidence, within herself!!!

It was awesome!

She's still one of my favorite clients and I just received an email from her just this week with a 1st birthday picture of that sweet baby girl. It was a true privledge to read her birth story that she wrote for me right after the birth as well.