Look Into My Eyes. . .

RosyDoula · 06-26-2006, 03:43 PM

What I found that really works in late active labor/transition is to ask the woman to open her eyes and look into yours and the breathe with you. My last client would grab my hand and look for my face and eyes for me to guide her through each contraction. She said with her last birth she couldn't concentrate on breathing, and this was a lifeline for her. Looking into someone's eyes is a powerful thing, it says "I am here, experiencing this with you."

MothertheMother · 06-26-2006, 08:59 PM

this is something I tell all my clients to expect in labor. It really does work!!!

AussieDoula · 06-27-2006, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MothertheMother

It really does work!!!

It's true!
When mama tells me "I can't do this anymore" I make sure I am close with eye contact and tell her "You ARE doing it! This is it, it's not going to get any worse than this"... works like a charm!
Just knowing that someone is there to fully support you over the hump is enough to give mamas that second wind and the trust in themselves to see it through!

Slightly off-topic...
It's funny all the Doula tricks of the trade that must never get posted because we all take it forgranted that everyone else already knows about them (well I do)! We'll have to start listing the really good common/better-known ones for the new Doulas!

AussieDoula · 06-27-2006, 12:17 AM

I also wanted to add that most women need that one person in labour to focus on. Many of my mamas (my own birth included) tuned out everyone but their main support person to better concentrate on their body and it's rhythms.
In a room full of excited/loud/urgent voices, it's helpful to have that one person in close, telling you calmly that you are doing a great job.

I'm soooo honoured to be that focus for so many mamas!

MothertheMother · 06-27-2006, 09:12 AM

I agree that we should talk more about this topic! I know we learn a lot of it at the training but you are so overwhelmed with information having your memory refreshed would be nice!!!

fearlessbirth · 06-27-2006, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AussieDoula

I'm soooo honoured to be that focus for so many mamas!

I know! It's an awesome feeling to know you helped a mama through that rough spot.

At my last birth the mom felt like she was struggling with the first couple of hours of ctx (she had pit) and saying she couldn't do it. I kept reminding her that she was but after the epidural she said something like 'wow that was crazy...I don't know how I would have handled real labor'. The nurse looked at her and said 'honey, that was real labor'. Lol I think she was anticipating the worst to come and didn't realize she was in the midst of it!!! I was a little annoyed that she listened to the nurse and not me, lol. I think she felt like I was 'just trying to make her feel better'.

everydaymiracles · 06-27-2006, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AussieDoula

I also wanted to add that most women need that one person in labour to focus on. Many of my mamas (my own birth included) tuned out everyone but their main support person to better concentrate on their body and it's rhythms.
In a room full of excited/loud/urgent voices, it's helpful to have that one person in close, telling you calmly that you are doing a great job.

I'm soooo honoured to be that focus for so many mamas!

I think I have already shared this story but will do so again!!! I was able to attend a birth recently as the backup doula. The primary doula is a RN in the L&D where this mum was delivering so she can't call in sick only to turn up with a client later the same day! I joined the client at 3.30pm and we went to the hospital a few hours later. The primary doula was our nurse (so gret to have a nurse supportive of doulas!!!) Her shift finished at 7.30pm. Mum was in transition and focusing on me exclusively with face to face coaching (I have a beautiful pic I am waiting for permission I would love to share) The mum said - 'M I'm not listening to you - just to Robyn!' This was around 7pm. The dad asks 'So what happens now - do you leave now Merle is here?" I had opened my mouth and the mumma grinds out "Robyn is staying!" She had one hand in hers and was holding onto my other shoulder (so I was virtually in a headlock!) Mum began pushing at 8.15 and the baby was delivered at 9pm. I usually stay for several hours after a birth but as the primary doula was there and the 'desperate' need the mother had for me was past, I left shortly after the birth knowing she was in good hands!

Anyway - all that is to say, if mum has a focus or a person she is listening to (even if it isn't us!) it is part of our job I believe to protect that! The other doula could have bustled over and said "I am here now, you can lean on me" but she acknowledged that mum needed someone other than herself (ME!) at that time and protected that! R

tianakaesha · 08-01-2006, 11:55 PM

Eye contact is so *very* important...

This is a little bit from my own birth story and what happened as I was having an epidural. "Jack" was one of my support people.

Quote:

I was propped up on the side of the bed, and I had Jack stand in front of me, holding my shoulders. I was told to let them all know when a contraction was coming so that I would not move as the needle went in. The local stung like all hell, but I did not move. A contraction hit and we all worked through it. Now it was time for the other needle. This one I could not move at all with. Half way through insertion, the next contraction started to build and I let everyone know. “You need to hold still sweetheart” I heard Peter say. Easy enough for you I thought. Jack grabbed my shoulders gently, pressed her forehead to mine and just started talking to me. Nose to nose she congratulated me on how far I had come, and that I was doing so well, that my little baby would be in my arms soon. I felt her breath on mine as the peak of the contraction rippled through my body and I cried, but she kept my focus. And I never moved.

It was *this* very situation that pretty much concreted in my head about looking to be a doula. THe thought I could be that kind of support for other women.... remembering how supported I felt....

doula Michele · 08-02-2006, 08:06 AM

I find the eye contact also huge, and making sure i am always in grabbing distance... Moms will have their eyes closed, but just start reaching and grabbing for me, so they know I am there.

Robyn...what do you do for a few hours after the birth with moms? Just curious... I usually leave within 1/2 an hour of them getting back to their rooms, because there always seems to be an influx of family or friends...and I feel then like I am just in the way. I usually stop by the next day, early, before visiting hours start.

Michele