What tools do you use most during births?

Jilian · 07-04-2006, 09:47 PM

I've only attended two births so far, and haven't really used much from my birth bag. The midwife at the last birth I attended suggested I use more stuff from my birth bag in the future. So what do you use most??

I do use the birth ball, I make tea for mom, give massages if she wants, and I bring drinks and snacks, other than that I just use touch and verbal support. I bring almond oil and some EOs but never end up using them. I thought this was fine but the MW has me second guessing myself now. Any suggestions?

tlcdoula · 07-04-2006, 11:16 PM

The main thing I utilize is my hands and massage. I very rarely bring much of anything from my doula bag - perhaps my little cd player, but even that isn't getting used much since the hospitals have them already.

AussieDoula · 07-05-2006, 12:14 AM

"The most important things a Doula brings to the birth are her undivided attention, emotional, physical and informational support and her total belief in the mother's ability to give birth." ~Tracy Hartley

MothertheMother · 07-05-2006, 08:40 AM

From one newbie doula to another, I think you will know when you need to bring things out from your bag. My first birth, I used almost nothing from my bag, my second, I think I used everything! and my third, again, almost nothing. It is so funny how different it is is each time. I don't know what you have in your bag but use the search feature because there have been a few discussions and many lists of things (great info!!) you might want to add but a bag full of tricks doesn't make you a good doula.

fearlessbirth · 07-05-2006, 09:34 AM

Christy's right...it does vary from birth to birth! The one thing I've used everytime is my beach scented body butter. I do a lot of rubbing/massaging and since we're near the beach (or I guess even if we weren't) many mom's happy place is the beach and the scent takes them right there.

Jilian · 07-05-2006, 12:03 PM

Thank you for the replies. I thought I did good at the birth, and the mama was really happy with the birth too. She had an epidural at her last birth and made it through this birth with a 1/4 shot of nubaine. The thing that really upsets me is that the midwife didn't even ask her if she wanted the shot of nubaine. My client was entering transition and said "I can't do this anymore" after a few intense contractions. I was right next to her and she was in the tub. I was reminding her that she was doing a wonderful job and that her son would be born soon. The midwife said "I'm gonna give you something" and not even 2 seconds later they were shooting nubaine into her IV port. I know the mama could have made it without the shot, and I was really angry that they didn't even get her permission before injecting her! We even had "natural childbirth in progress" signs on the door.

I think the midwife was more of a medwife and she, for whatever reason, thought I wasn't doing my job so she gave the mom the nubaine. It just makes me really upset.

fearlessbirth · 07-05-2006, 12:53 PM

Ugh, that is not right that she would do that. Unless the mom requested drugs or used a codeword I don't think the mid/medwife should take upon themselves to just do what they want. There are many women who, esp in transition, go out of their minds and can't believe how intense it is only find that there baby is there before they know it and it's pretty much all over. How dare anyone take that away from a mother?

Jilian · 07-05-2006, 02:15 PM

I feel the same way. The mother ended up delivering less than 30 minutes after she was shot with nubaine. I know I could have calmed her down and helped her to relax but I feel like the medwife didn't even give me a chance to try. Then she writes on my review that I need to have a bag of goodies to induce relaxation. Maybe if she were there for more than 45 mins she would have seen my bag of goodies!! I did use it early in labor but didn't feel the need to use it at the end, especially since the mom was having a hard time and I didn't want to leave her side.

I'm just happy that the mom is content with her birth. I'm still feeling a little angry about it.

fearlessbirth · 07-05-2006, 02:47 PM

Awww..I'm sorry the midwife wrote that...especially if she wasn't there long enough to see your bag o' goodies!

A doula should be able to work fine without all those extras. Yes, they are great to have, very convenient and make our jobs easier but 99.9% of the time what mom needs most is your body near her's, to hear your soothing voice and encouragement

newbirth · 07-05-2006, 10:23 PM

From what I have heard from experienced doulas, the more experienced the less they need 'stuff'. I don't think that the number of things you have makes you a better doula. Take a look at what other doulas use (through other threads, etc.) and if anything strikes your fancy, find one. Otherwise, I'd just shrug it off and not worry about it.

AussieDoula · 07-06-2006, 10:03 AM

I'm sorry about your midwife's eval was semi-negative. It bugs me that people think that introducing more tools and technology to a labouring mama is in any way helpful.
Even if you did have an extensive collection of helpful tools on hand, each mama is different and some want you to be hands-off when it comes to birth. No bag of goodies can compensate for your words of encouragement. A great Doula won't need to bring anything but herself into a labouring mamas space (not saying we're not great Doulas for those of us who use knick-knacks)!
I'm surprised that a midwife (who should know about the benefits of position changes, massage, and other forms of support that don't require anything but the Doula/support person) would be so eager for you to bring out your toys, and reflect negatively on the fact that you didn't need to.
Perhaps she was having a bad day (especially to be so quick as to give a surprise shot of drugs without discussion), or perhaps she has been given a bad impression about Doulas somewhere along the line?
Anyway, sorry you're left with a bad taste in your mouth about this midwife.

MIA-D · 07-06-2006, 10:50 AM

I very rarely use anything from my bag except maybe food for myself. I bring it all with, because you never know, massage tools, reference book, etc. I just let them show me what they need. My brain is always going, thinking of the next possibility and what to do.

Heather

MothertheMother · 07-06-2006, 11:19 AM

the only thing that I have used at all three births is the peppermint spray for nausea and the preggie pops. the massage tools and relaxation stuff I keep mostly in case it gets really long and me and Dad need a change of pace (in case of sore hands etc). Oh, and something to fan mom with. That doesn't have to come from you bad, though. It can be found in the room.

ctowndoula · 07-11-2006, 04:45 PM

I like this thread b/c I think we do have a tendancy (sic) to get hung up on the "I have to do something to prove my value". I like the hands off approach when I can. Sometimes it is knowing when to do nothing and let mom and dad bond. Sometimes it is better to be the knitting doula in the corner. And sometimes I don't leave moms side the whole time and I actually wish I had my tools in a back pack so I could get them easier.

What do I pack in my bag? A lot of stuff. What do I use? My water and snacks, peppermint oil on a cold damp washcloth (so I can get rid of it easy) and baggies to take it into c-sections with me, massage oil, my pen and paper to take notes, and my creditials b/c I do occiasionally get stares if I am meeting mom and dad at the hospital.

doula Michele · 07-12-2006, 09:18 AM

I find that I really don't use much from my bag any more, and it is getting lighter everytime i go.

Breath mints! I keep them in every pocket and purse I own. And use them every 1/2 hour or so, and pass them to dad too.

I always carry a good referance book. The Birth partner usually.

Other than that, I just never really know what to use or what to try. The 'things' feel very unnatural for me, and I forget to use them. So everything in my bag is usually stuff for me.

The mom yesterday did ask for tennis ball....for her back. I did not have one, but i did have one of those back massagers. She also said that when she zoned out, the sound of my voice reminded her of her mom, and she found that so comforting...that I talked to her just like a mom would. I thought maybe I was talking to much through the ctx...but she apperently really liked that i just kept whispering encouragement the whole time.

So i guess that is what I use most. Breath mints, my hands somewhere on her body, even just touching her, and my voice.

Michele