Women vs. men and pain control during labor

tchatters · 12-28-2006, 10:33 AM

Since you ladies are always so helpful, I thought I'd give back a little and share a fun experiment I've been doing in prenatals. I've slightly modified the ice in the hand experiment.

Without any discussion of the mom or her wishes, I had her the ice and tell the dad to talk her through the contraction how he thinks she will do best. 3 times now the dad has had some version of "coaching" "Yah! You can do it, good girl, go with it, oh yeah!" 2 of the 3 times, the mom is like "are you kidding me, you think that's going to help??" The other mom just closed her eyes and ignored him.

Then we switch- have the dad hold the ice, and have mom talk him through the contraction how SHE wants to be talked to. One mom had the most beautiful vision of how she thought their son would be on his 18th birthday. The others had very sweet memories of something they had done together (one honeymoon, one vacation).

2 of the 3 times, both the mom and dad ended up crying, hugging and laughing. In the other, the dad said "Oh my gosh, I'm SO off base- thank god we hired you!!!"

It's been a very fun, enlightening experience for me and my clients too and has really helped them understand where the other is coming from.

Just thought I'd share!

fearlessbirth · 12-28-2006, 10:48 AM

Great idea! Thanks!

Acacia · 12-28-2006, 12:17 PM

That is a fabulous idea!! thanks for sharing it

1stimestar · 12-28-2006, 12:28 PM

Another spin you can use is afterwards ask them if the ice hurt. When they say yes, ask why then did they hold it. "Because you told us to." "Hmmm. What power over you do I have?" Hopefully it will get them thinking about listening and following their own bodys' cues.

RosyDoula · 12-29-2006, 12:21 PM

That's a really cool idea to use - thanks!

DL · 12-29-2006, 11:35 PM

I do the ice demonstration at my second prenatals, right before we go over comfort measures. That is a neat little experiment that you have going on there! I would have NEVER thought of that spin on my own. Good job!

Neshama · 12-30-2006, 09:12 PM

Good idea! I like it... (((stealing idea...)))

douladot · 12-31-2006, 07:45 AM

Can someome please elaborate on the ice experiement?? I have heard about it briefly, but don't know exactly how it is done. You have the mom hold an ice cube and have the dad try to "talk" her through a contraction and then they reverse roles??? Need more vivid directions...please.

tchatters · 01-01-2007, 11:06 AM

I'm not sure exactly where it originates- but the way I was taught is that first you hand the mom a piece of ice and tell her to hold it for a minute. Then you do nothing. When the minute is up, you talk about how it felt, hurt, etc. Then you do it again for a minute and talk to her or give her a massage or use some other nice Doula trick to distract her. Then talk about it again to see how she felt.

I've also seen it done in classes with the mom and dad to represent how long a contraction actually is and that you can get through anything that's only 1 min long.

heathenmamaof5 · 01-01-2007, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tchatters

I'm not sure exactly where it originates- but the way I was taught is that first you hand the mom a piece of ice and tell her to hold it for a minute. Then you do nothing. When the minute is up, you talk about how it felt, hurt, etc. Then you do it again for a minute and talk to her or give her a massage or use some other nice Doula trick to distract her. Then talk about it again to see how she felt.

I've also seen it done in classes with the mom and dad to represent how long a contraction actually is and that you can get through anything that's only 1 min long.

A twist on that is to hand both Mom and Dad the ice, the first time is in silence the second time you do visualization. This helps both of them see how visualization works. I love the way you're doing it Tracy. What a great way to help their support person understand Mama's needs!

Gosh, Girl, I can't wait to meet you! For everyone else, Tracy lives close to me (maybe 15-20 minutes) and we're going to meet for coffee very soon. Tracy, my kids have the next week off from school and Linzey's b-day is Wednesday, so maybe we can get together next week? I was thinking about posting it on our VFDC yahoo group and see if anyone else is interested. Whatcha think?

DL · 01-01-2007, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by douladot

Can someome please elaborate on the ice experiement?? I have heard about it briefly, but don't know exactly how it is done. You have the mom hold an ice cube and have the dad try to "talk" her through a contraction and then they reverse roles??? Need more vivid directions...please.

There are numerous ways to use ice for demonstration. Here's another thread that explains how several of us do it.

"Childbirth Educator tips" Enjoy!