Right now she's 6 and a half.

I can't say I'm surprised at this recently declaration of hers, I am doulaing for one of our family friends. The girls (my friend's daughter is 10) talk about the baby coming CONSTANTLY. Mom's been in prodromal labor for a week now.

So, with out really thinking about it I told my daughter that, I would like for her to be older...12 was the number I pulled out of my butt.

I also told her that she HAD to sit in on my childbirth class (or one taught by one of MY friends) before she could attend a birth with me. There is also the stipulation that....the mother has to agree to it! I didn't get into that. (*Editing to add - *I* would be more comfortable if it was one of my friends, I would never ask a regular/stranger client*)

When my husband and I talked later, he said that, even at age 10 he'd be ok with her going with me...as long as she herself was educated. She's rather mature for her age, but I can see it not working out when she's 10.

Anyway, I just wondered if anyone here had taken their daughter to a birth that wasn't theirs. We won't be having more babies otherwise I'd just have her at my next birth

That sounds fantastic!

I think I may be taking my daughter along to my first birth or two, given she's 15 months old right now and I plan to continue breastfeeding her long past two years. I'll of course screen this with the mothers first. I also plan on the rest of my babies (two or three, maybe more :p) being homeborn, so she'll be there to welcome her younger siblings into the world.

If she wants to accompany me to births when she's older, I'll probably have her read some age-appropriate books on birth, and again okay the idea with my clients.

our kids - 7 and 8 almost 8 and 9 yo - were very eager to be present at the birth of their newest baby girl or brother and even wanted to see her/him emerge - until we watched some good birth videos on youtube together... that changed their minds... they were happy to see little baby as soon as she was out!
i can't even imagine them being present at a strangers birth?!! i don't think their place would be at a stranger's birth anyway. this is a very intimate and unique moment in a family's life. and not about educating or satisfying curiosity of a child... (but i guess, whatever works best for the birthing mom...)

I agree, I guess I should have mentioned not asking a stranger or random client. It would have to be someone who would be comfortable with her. One of our family friends, one of my best friends.

Yeah, there is no way I'd be asking someone who found my information on the net, or hired me from CBE classes.

Sorry, I should have clarified better.

I'll just drop my .02.

15 months old, not a good idea. Too much of a distraction for the laboring mom and the doula can't do her job while chasing her own child about. Unfair to everyone involved.

Depending on the child, 10 might be ok, but it would have to be the perfect set of circumstances and never with a paying client. Ever. And probably never with a primip (1st time mom).

My 19 year old daughter has been to 3 births. She was 9-10 when she attended her first. It was a close doula friend of mine, she was having her 2nd baby and I was there for photography, not doula support. It was a water birth at the birth center and she held the flash light. She attended the same doulas 3rd birth 2 years later (another water birth at the birth center) when she was 11 and again I was the photographer not the doula. That birth happened 11 weeks before her sister was born, and she then attended the birth of her sister while I was giving birth.

I would consider it highly unprofessional to ask a paying client to bring my child along, no matter the child's age. When I am hired as a doula my first priority must be my client. As a mother my child's health and well being is my first priority. When my child is at a birth my loyalty must be divided and no matter how you slice it, someone will lose. It's just not fair to anyone to willingly put us into that situation, and highly unprofessional to ask it of a paying client.

Occasionally a friend or family member might be open to the idea and I'm ok with that, but that's about the only set of circumstances I'd consider. While I value my children seeing and knowing normal birth, it should never come at the expense of a laboring woman.

My younger daughter turns 8 on Sunday and I can't fathom ever taking her to a birth. She's a high energy, high intensity kid. She's full of burning questions that she needs answered and she could never just sit quietly and observe. Maybe someday, maybe when her sister has kids.

My 18yo daughter recently attended a birth with me. It was a homebirth and my 18yo was providing childcare for the older children in the home (She knows the family)

The older children wanted to be present for the birth and it was agreed ahead of time that if they still wanted to attend that my daughter would be with them quietly in the room for the birth, and that's what happened! When mom started pushing my daughter came in the room with the very excited older siblings for the birth. It was a great experience for her, and the mother was thankful her older children could be there with my daughter being able to remove them quickly if needed.

Agreed. I would not be comfortable having her with me for a paying client that I didn't know personally.

I think the childcare situation will probably be how it happens, it's seemingly organic. She's not there FOR THE BIRTH, but still has a helpful role to play, and as an added bonus might be able to see the birth.

I don't want you guys to think that I'm considering taking her to a paying client's birth, especially anytime soon. She is only 6. And when she is old enough, I would certainly prepare her with birth videos and like I mentioned, she has to 'take my class' too.

Right now, I don't have anyone in my life that this would even be a possibility with, so it might be a moot point in another 4-6 (or more) years.

mostly I was interested in your thoughts and experiences surrounding the matter. Thanks again!