I'm in training and offering my services for free. I was hired by a client about 3 weeks ago. We met, chatted, and a few days later she called to say they wanted to hire me. Since then we talked once via email about getting her birthplan done ASAP per her ob. (She's not due until July). I let her know I would come to her home to do this and to let me know when is a good time. I haven't heard from her yet but I did hear from a mutual aquiantance (who doesn't know I am her doula) she recently said her doula experience has been a hassle and her doula "never talks to her and is just using her to get certified".
I'm hurt and I feel like I've let a mom down when I am supposed robbed het support person.
I'm not sure how to handle this, I immediately called her and said I was hoping to set up a time to do her birthplan soon and told her to call and let me know how she's feeling.
How much contact do you normally have prenatally? Am I being to distant? I just don't want to be intrusive.

I usually let the client set the tone of how often they want to be in touch. I initially make the first contact to set up our next visit, and let them get back to me on their own time.
Sometimes, if I come across something that pertains to them (an issue they mentioned, or something they were interested in) or something they asked about, I will email them. Also, if there is an event coming up, I try and follow up on it (like an ob visit/tests/etc).
I also do 2 prenatals.
In every email or call, I let them know I am always available for questions.
I honestly don't think you were being distant if you only had been in touch with her for 3 weeks and had already touched base about a prenatal...
Hope this helps!

It sounds like you are doing well, and it is just her perception, but I would also make sure that you charge something, even a small amount. It shows them that you are "for real". You can discount it deeply while training, but when we took our training, doing it for free was strongly discouraged.

I also agree that you could charge something to make it a service, more than a favor. Plus, the mom seems to think she is doing YOU a favor, not that you are providing her a service, so charging might help there too.

Good advice about charging. I took the mindset that I do you a favor, you do me a favor & my first 2 clients paid me anyway. I guess this one just doesn't see it that way.

I called her to set up a time to meet and talk about her birth plan as well as map out what she wants this relationship to look like. I feel kind of bad now, I don't look at her the same.

I'm sorry you're having a bad experience. Unfortunately, that's the downfall to volunteering your services. Some people are completely ungrateful!

My doula from my 3rd child was my first experience with doulas. She was great and she helped me form my ideas about what I want my services to be like. I've also looked extensively online to see what other's are doing and charging and I am charging half the going rate for the area I'm in. That is also what my doula did, as she was getting her certification too!

Here is what I am offering as face to face:

AT LEAST 4 Face-to-face consultations- 1 to get an idea of what your wants and needs are in a labor doula and for you to get to know me; AND 3 to work on your birth plan and your labor exercises and to finalize any last minute requests.
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Unlimited Phone consultations both before and after the baby is born!
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1 Prenatal visit near the end of your pregnancy to discuss and reaffirm your birth plan and wishes for this labor and delivery. And to get to know your OB! Since we will be working together for you and your new family!
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This is what I'm offering along with full labor support and all my skills, so I don't feel bad about charging something. :-)

DoulaGinny, by one prenatal visit, do you mean you go to the OB/MW with your client?


I am considering increasing my number of prenatals with my clients. By prenatal I mean, I go to their home/meeting place not to their provider with them. I am currently seeing most clients 3 times before the birth. The interview and two prenatals. Some I see again to do Belly Mapping or Spinning Babies type stuff.

I have always asked that they keep in touch with me, and use their visits with the provider as a 'reminder' to call or email me. We talk about the visit, and anything else that comes up. And like someone mentioned above, every time I'm in touch with a client I remind them that I am always available for questions through email or phone. And once I am on call, that means even at 2 am.

The amount of involvement usually does depend on the client.

Yes. I meant that I was offering after the initial agreement has been made - 3 face-to-face visits where we meet to:

1) Get to know each other; talk about where she wants the relationship to go; formalize information on scope of practice; give more information on the topics that interest her; decide if she wants more than just 3 Personal visits & 1 Prenatal visit to the OB/MW...

2) To work on Laboring Techniques, Exercises and such; talk about hospital policy; Go over more requested information from client; Discuss options...

3) To work on Birthing Plan! To refine and remind of Laboring Techniques & Exercises; Go over anymore requested information; Review client's wish for my role during labor...

AND the on the 4th:

4) To go with client to a Prenatal visit to meet OB/MW & discuss birth plan & hospital policies...

Are there any suggestions anyone would make to my list? I'm new and still learning!

That's pretty great! I've always made it clear that I am willing to go with them, and even supply them with extra cards so that their provider can contact me if they want. I've never been taken up on it.